Help Please!
 

So I've been trying to change my lifestyle for the past few weeks now. I was doing really well, lost around 10lbs in the first 3 weeks I think ( :carrot: ). Then everything slipped. I have a friend who is trying to change the way he eats too, but he's not been doing very well at it. So whenever I go round to his I end up eating all of the unhealthy things he's got. I've tried eating at my house first but he ends up persuading me to have pudding at his etc etc etc.

I've been feeling really unmotivated recently, and I can't help myself but pick up that chocolate bar to give myself that sweet satisfaction, but it only lasts a few moments, and then I feel exactly the same way, if not worse because I feel as though I've let myself down! I really need some advice please! Thank you! :)

You might see if your friend would like to be your weight loss buddy. Have scheduled weigh ins -- share pounds lost if you don't want to share actual weight. Get him to join this forum. Develop a diet plan together. And, if he isn't able to keep the junk out of his house, just do the entertaining at your place. Maybe inconvenient and not as much fun, but it will keep the temptation away. And maybe it's time to have a frank talk with him asking him why he pushes foods on you when he knows you're trying to lose. Hope you can find a way to make this work -- sounds like you enjoy hanging out with him.

Hello to you... and :welcome2: We have all been there. Tempting things in front of us and people offering them to us and it is hard to say no to that pressure. I think that you have to just decide..... decide to just do it and eat healthy. You can always say No Thank you to those items (either to yourself, or to your friend) and to your friend you can always say... gosh I'm not hungry right at this moment... or I just ate, or (to be honest) you can just say that that food is not on your health plan, but thank you. This will give you control; which is what we all want to have in our lives.

Just decide to do what you need to do when you are really ready and it does become alittle easier.

We are all here for each other and you can always find help and motivation and knowledge here on this forum (the people here are wonderful!)

Be well on your journey and I hope to see you on the threads making progess and helping others!

It's really easy to be tempted by friends and family who aren't 100% committed to a lifestyle you are living.. Honestly, if he offers you something, a simple "no thanks" should suffice - it's hard enough to resist something like that without someone trying to convince you to eat it. It's not an easy solution but if you have someone in your life who is sabotaging you to the point of persuading you to eat off your plan - it's time to take a break until you are stronger willed or they respect you.

Keep saying no, and in a couple of weeks you will not even notice him eating them.

Just stay strong and don't let him derail you. One thing I've started doing is having a snack stash. I ALWAYS have at least two pieces of fruit and a little baggie of almonds or something in my purse so I have something to munch on if I'm really overcome with the urge to eat something sweet. Also, I think if you can restrict the chocolate, etc for a short amount of time (a week or two) and only eat fruit then you'll start to notice that the chocolate doesn't taste good anymore. It'll start seeming too sweet and you won't even want it as much. At least that's what I've found, anyway. Good luck, you can do it!

That's a really good idea about the fruit in the bag! Think I might start doing that, will mean I don't have to look longingly at food when I'm a bit peckish! Thanks for all of your words of advice! I feel stronger already :)

When it comes down to it, your health is on you. It sounds like your friend is not a great friend and you might need to take a break from him until you have a better hold on your self control. Losing weight and getting healthy is a wonderful feeling and eventually will trump the feeling of having that pudding but you have to allow yourself to get there. I tried medifast because there is no gray area it is easy to do it as long as you stay on plan. You might want to look into something like that.

Don't want to sound harsh but there will always be temptation and u need to learn to just say no. Noone can force u to eat bad stuff, unless they have u hostage with a gun to your head. One of the things I have learned is not to make excuses and really saying your friend is giving u bad food is an excuse. I catch myself making excuses but always recognize them and usually make a better choice.You have decided to make a life change and chances r those around u have not. Don't sabotage your eating because others are. Be strong and in time it will be routine and I guarantee u wil be healthier and stronger mentally and physically than your friend. My weakness is chocolate or really any sweets but I found a protein chocolate bar that tastes like chocolate. I can have my cake and eat it too that way. So try to find substitutions. Last if u have a bad day that doesn't mean all your efforts have gone down the drain, u have not failed just see tomorrow as a new day to continue your efforts.

Simple, ask him to not offer you food anymore and if he is truly a friend he won't. If he does not support you in this he is not a friend so don't hang out with him. You can also plan to make healthy meals together or do something active.m

What I discovered this week for chocolate craving
1. I brought a small bar of chocolate and broke it into bits .. I think put each little bit into an small ice-cube tray - sounds mad Yep I thought so - then i put tin foil over it - theory there being if I get something out of the freezer for dinner I wont see the actual chocolate even though I know its there
when I get a chocolate craving I grab out 1 very cold piece of chocolate and pop it in my mouth and let it melt - I figure if I can beat the chocolate cravings on about 8 grams of chocolate a day max - I might get past them totally - also by breaking it up first means you only get the one piece out - if you dont you risk eating the whole bar

2. For people who don't think about what they eat
My mum is like that she is only a little overweight - light actually for our family as we are also fighting genetics (we have the heaviest and largest man in England from when they first started doing the Record books in our family)
Anyway I got around this by now mum comes to our place for Tea I control portion size - important for me as she serves major plates of food, and generally not the healthy kind - so I am able to load up on the salad and put a little pasta or whatever with it and she does not fuss over what I eat - my Mum is also an emotional sabotage eater - she likes people around her to be well feed even if it does not help them, she has been worse since living on her own


anyway an idea for you with your friend - take a nice healthy dessert/pudding with you and share that instead - you will satisfy his need for company when eating and you can control what you eat - think about this when we grow up our social life is based around food - kids parties - adults parties - always have loads of food - any thing we celebrate what do we do - have a party =food and sometimes alcohol or going out for dinner - dates also revolve around food too.


If your friends on his own maybe he is using food emotionally too? I am not saying avoid your friend but perhaps invite him over or take a meal with you and control what you eat that way instead ?

I take my food EVERYWHERE with me. I always have a healthy meal packed if I'm going to be out at lunch or dinner. In the beginning I used to think that people who offered me unhealthy food were intentionally trying to sabotage me but now I don't even think about it. I don't eat unhealthy food. I hang out with plenty of friends who don't eat well and when they offer me food that I don't eat, I whip out my healthy food. Many of my friends have started watching what they're eating around me as well.

Sometimes if you don't allow someone to bring you down, you can bring them up. Win win.

I will not allow anyone to impede my progress. I know where I was before and I was miserable. If there are people who don't want to hang out with me because I'm committed to my lifestyle change...fine by me. I can't put the feelings of others before my own health and well being.

I find that having something to do with my hands, even if it's drinking coffee or water, makes it easier to say no. So does standing up rather than sitting down.

When stressed, what makes you feel better that isn't food? I've been consciously trying to substitute talking with a friend or taking a short walk for stress eating.

And, how about setting up a reward system for yourself--say, every 5 times that you say no to an unplanned unhealthy snack, you'll reward yourself with something non-food? For me it would be a bracelet.

Good luck!

My boyfriend is a feeder, and in turn I am an eater. Your friend could be one of two people, a feeder who is genuinely offering you food with misguided good intentions...or he wants you to eat poorly with him because if there's someone else doing it then it's justified.

I sat down with my boyfriend and explained to him, that for my benefit, if he offers me something and I say no it's not because I'm rejecting him, I am just rejecting the unhealthy food. Now he only asks me once if I want a bite of something. Before he use to follow up with "are you sure" or "pleaseeeee?"