A slow and sluggish start, with a hint of desperation
Well hello. I'm pretty new to this section of the forum. I'm... a little defeated at the outset, I'm sorry to say. I'm on the tail end of a chest cold, but have had enough of being so sedentary. I've made a gym date with my dad for tomorrow after work, and plan to do somewhere between 2 and 4 miles on the treadmill, depending on how I'm feeling.
My weight has been less creeping up than sprinting up. I've gained 15 pounds in just the last month or two, and it's really starting to frighten me. I'd actually made the decision to have WLS, and got the ball rolling, but was never able to get mentally/emotionally cleared for it due to depression and emotional eating issues.
As of last Thursday at a doctor's appointment, my weight was 365lbs. I don't have a scale at home, so I won't be able to weight there, I might do weigh ins at the gym, we'll have to see. I'm also flat broke until payday and have very little in the way of on-plan food around the house, so I'm a little worried about how this is going to go until Friday and payday roll around.
But starting back to the gym is a step in the right direction. Posting honestly here is another baby step. I need to figure out how to find positive things to post about. I've been really down and weepy lately and realized that I cannot find one single positive thing to say about myself anymore. Physical or otherwise. I don't like anything about me anymore. It's sad, and it's not what I want to model for my daughter, but I've gone so far in the wrong direction I'm not even sure I can get turned back around.
Here's hoping I haven't been swept to far down the river to get back into control. Thanks for reading.
Is it silly to feel on-plan after only half a day? Had to hurry out of the house without breakfast this morning, but grabbed a Slim Fast shake (rather than 2 donuts!) at the gas station. HALF a can of soup and ONE SERVING of crackers for lunch. None of these are stellar, but they are leaps and bounds above a normal day for me.
I can be proud of 6 hours on plan, right?
Along with that, I've started a food notebook, and I've been emailing back and forth with my husband about food plans and exercise plans all morning, so I'm feeling more focused than usual. Here's hoping I can carry on for 24 hours!
Okay, it's almost 10pm. I'm not hungry, so I'm done eating. I didn't actually eat as many calories as I would have liked (under 1300, when I'm aiming for roughly 1400-1800) but I'll take it. AND I went to the gym and walked two miles on a tread mill with my dad and have a gym date to do it again on Wednesday.
I'm still prone to coughing, but I made it the whole two miles without having to stop, so I think I'm on the road to recovery.
My dad and I both lost 60-70 lbs in 2006, he managed to keep his off mostly for the last few years, but has gained about 20 back in the last year or so, so he's really happy to get moving again too. Yay for us! First OP day under my belt, lets see if I can do it again tomorrow!
Heck, when I first started I would do a mini mental celebration of every on-plan meal so a half day or a full day is definitely something to be excited about!
I agree with everyone, you are not silly. Yeah for you on a good start. Count your lucky stars that you have such a great new outlook. I'm not sure of your age, but you sound young. I am 61 and I had to get "scared straight" to start again. My brother had a heart attack in January and that helped me on the road to a better life. I feel so much happier. And my marriage is back on track as my husband and i started drifting apart and now we are like two love birds after 28 years together.
Goid luck and hang in there!
Last edited by PearlNorth; 11-10-2011 at 11:49 AM.
A slow and sluggish start, with a hint of desperation
