Well, it's true. Monday of this week, I ate a sweet potato pie. I had every intention to share with my family or coworkers but then succumbed to the desire to stuff my emotions down my throat (Can you relate?). Of course, and as expected, I felt sick and got a headache as a result. I'm telling you this for a reason though...
I didn't step foot in the gym for the entire month of September. Granted, I was ill for two weeks..but I was also quite lazy. Not only was it $33 down the drain (for my gym membership) but it was time wasted. I considered canceling my membership, questioned if folks at the gym would judge me when I suddenly reappeared, made up excuses that I would use in case anyone inquired about my whereabouts (note that no one at my gym knows me or my name...and most staff members only muster an occasional "have a good workout"), and constantly asked myself how I would feel if I wore a size 24 forever.
The point is...this journey isn't perfect. I made it back to the gym and burned 551 calories the first day. I hope to make it to a group fitness or cycling class with my sister this weekend.
When I said that I'm in this for the long haul, I meant it..and I hope my month off the wagon encourages some of you.
I'm not encouraging ANYONE to eat a pie or skip the gym..but if you do...it's not the end of the world. Love yourself anyway.
You're absolutely right - getting off the path happens but what matters is finding your way back and continuing on the journey!! Congratulations on getting back into the gym and back on your journey!!!
That's my hardest obstacle. It's not the food, nor the exercise, because it all makes sense, it's simple, and structured. The problem is accepting that I got near 300lbs, that I continue to be overweight, and that I will do some of the same things that got me there in the first place on my way towards getting to a better weight. I don't love myself at all, in fact, I view myself like a stinky, rude, abusive conjoined twin- just...a horror to live with. In some ways I look for any reason to be mad at myself, and this weight loss journey certainly provides reasons to be, since it's all about my choices.
Hard road, for sure.
And it's good you have that insight, and the ability to move forward.
In the big scheme of things, that pie doesn't matter. What matters is your ability to get back up and get on track! I am so proud of you for doing that! Many folks would go downhill after a slip up, and in the past, that's what I did too.
There will always be bumps in the road. Success comes from dealing with them and getting back on the right track!
I totally used that All or Nothing mentality in my first 30 yrs of dieting (since my first diet at 10 yrs old).
These last years, I've found that picking myself up after an episode as soon as it's over and not saying, "F it, I'm eating everything until I'm sick" has helped slow the rapid weight gains that were my usual MO. My baby steps now days are to decrease the number of episodes (yup, therapy), but not to beat myself up when they happen. Basically I say to myself "it's ok to feel <insert feeling here>" even if I'm sedating with food. Between episodes, I'm getting in more protein, avoid wheat products that upset my system and avoid that damn vending machine at work (candy and sugared sodas).
I'm so glad you have chosen to stay!! Join in ALL conversations. Don't be shy.
That's why this forum is totally AWESOME. You all are so great! Seriously. I don't have anyone in my life who would have responded as positively as everyone here did.
At the moment, I'm sitting at my desk eating baked chicken, wheat pasta, steamed broccoli and cauliflower for lunch...and loving every bite! If I hadn't eaten the pie, I wouldn't be able to appreciate this meal. If I hadn't gotten so low, I may have gotten comfortable and settled.
And to top it all off, I feel great. I'm more in sync with my body. I'm challenging myself to burn more and more calories each night at the gym.
Thanks for the love everyone =) I'm sending it back to all of you triplefold!
Any special plans for the weekend? The weather is supposed to be beautiful here in MD and DC.
I totally used that All or Nothing mentality in my first 30 yrs of dieting (since my first diet at 10 yrs old).
These last years, I've found that picking myself up after an episode as soon as it's over and not saying, "F it, I'm eating everything until I'm sick" has helped slow the rapid weight gains that were my usual MO. My baby steps now days are to decrease the number of episodes (yup, therapy), but not to beat myself up when they happen. Basically I say to myself "it's ok to feel <insert feeling here>" even if I'm sedating with food. Between episodes, I'm getting in more protein, avoid wheat products that upset my system and avoid that damn vending machine at work (candy and sugared sodas).
I'm so glad you have chosen to stay!! Join in ALL conversations. Don't be shy.
Hugs,
Ratkity
There's so much to learn during the journey. I honestly think that a slower pace of weight loss allows your mind to keep up with the changes too. It takes time to develop a new normal and it sounds like you're off to a fabulous start =)
I'm thinking about writing a motivational note and hanging in my wall - have you ever tried anything like that?
Good for you for overcoming it and getting back on the wagon! When we fall off we feel so bad about ourselves, we are really our worse critique.
My confession. My mom is visiting me this week and is making all this yummy food. I ate all the fish cakes, my kids didn't like them so I polished it off then ate a chocolate chip muffin......LOL back on track today
Thank you for sharing your story, especially how you felt about not going to the gym. I have made the same excuses countless times and it is reassuring to see you bounce back and get right back to doing what you need to do.
There's so much to learn during the journey. I honestly think that a slower pace of weight loss allows your mind to keep up with the changes too. It takes time to develop a new normal and it sounds like you're off to a fabulous start =)
I'm thinking about writing a motivational note and hanging in my wall - have you ever tried anything like that?
I have, but have a tendency to ignore them. On the frig helps though! Also helps to change them out monthly for me.
I absolutely with every fiber of my being 100% agree with you.
I've made some not-so-great choices along the way, but those poor choices do not outweigh all the good I have done for myself. The only time they ever would is if I decided to quit trying to be healthier.
I am so happy to hear that you are back here, and going forward.
I have little cards, post-its and snipits of sayings all over the place. They do help as long as I read them!
Like everyone said, it's great you are back in action and getting back on track. What concerns me though, is the fact you are making pies to begin with. I know you said that you were going to share it...BUT, the fact that you ate the whole thing is a sign to me that maybe you should avoid having those thing in your house to begin with, (at this time). Yes, we all stumble, yes we all have bad days, but one way to keep on track is to limit temptation. I know, I know, this is a life style change, there are no rules, there is no time limit...yada, yada, but still, morbid obesity kills, and even though your are "trying", every day you stay morbidly obese, is another day of not living up to your optimal health. You have the right to be lean and healthy, and every day you eat a whole pie you are robbing yourself of a pain free life.
Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now, but I did what to throw that your way. I'm by no means perfect, and I stumble lots of times, but I have have also been "super-morbidly-obese" as well, and it...just sucks. Being fit is WAY better than me sitting around chowing down on an entire pie. Been there, done that...and well, it's not so great.
I ate a pie.
