I think I was insulted
 

Let me just preface this with saying that I'm mostly a lurker here and rarely post but I really wanted to share this experience mostly because it has really blindsided me.

I've been overweight all my life so I've experienced kids making fun, rude comments, stares, etc. But in my adulthood it's almost always just people looking but not saying anything. I don't let it get to me but this was unusual.

I was at the grocery store earlier tonight to pick up a few (literally less than 20 items) things. As I was coming out of the doors there was a family (all dressed up clearly having come from a Sunday evening church service) approaching the doors. I wasn't in their way and they weren't in mine. The husband was leading the way and he gave me a friendly-looking smile and I smiled back then he said, "Did you leave anything for us?" and then laughed.

Was that an insult?

His wife and daughter were both overweight (not that I care but if he was insulting me I can't imagine how it made them feel!). It also just bothered me because here they clearly had just been in church for crying out loud and then he says something mean to a complete stranger.. not very Christian-like!

I wasn't sure at all how to take that. I just smiled a little and kept on my way. I could maybe see a comment like that if my shopping cart was overloaded with groceries but I had maybe 4-5 bags tops.

I've run this over in my mind several times and thought I'd come here and see what y'all think. I'm not so much upset as just really perplexed. Thanks for reading this and sorry it was kind of long!

I have heard people say that before to others, and I don't think it's necessarily an insult. To me it just seems like a generic joke.

I've heard it before too (I've had it said to me when I've had an overflowing shopping cart) but I didn't even have that much stuff. I just wasn't sure what to think of it, though I do see how it could have just been a joke.

This kind of joke (a generic "is there any good stuff left") is one of my dad's favorite jokes (he has a dozen variations of it for restaurants, grocery stores, picnics... and it has absolutely nothing to do with the number of bags or items in the cart, or the weight of the person he makes the joke to).

That's kind of what I was suspecting but I didn't consider that someone might say it even if I just had a few things. I'm glad that this seems to be the case because he did look like he was a nice guy which is partly why I was a little taken aback.

Idon't think it was meant as an insult. Just a passing comment ,that's all it was.

I agree with Kaplods - my Dad always makes those terrible general jokes EVERYwhere. It doesn't matter who it is.

Like, every time the waitress brings the bill, he says in a slightly dramatic tone (trying to be humorous): "Now why'd you have to go and do that??!!"

It doesn't even really make sense - he just says it. But, it always makes the waiter/waitress smile (even if its faked). I think the Dad probably just wanted to make you smile.

Upon first reading this, my reaction was "How terribly awful of him- you absolutely were insulted and that was completely out of line!"

It's been an hour or so later and upon reflection I agree with others that i think this was a cheesy dad making a bad joke (EDIT: wrote this before reading kaplods' and Unna's comments- looks like there are a lot of cheesy dads out there :)). I can absolutely remember my father doing something similar. He's a bit oblivious- he doesn't really see weight, attractiveness, etc so he has certainly made jokes that others- like my mother, who are more consciousnesses - deem as offensive.

Last week I was jogging and I passed a walker who yelled out to me "run faster!" I was at the tail end of my run and was definitely losing steam, so I DID perceive my run as stupidly slow, and therefore his comment as mean. I think I responded with something defensive, like how long I'd been running for or something. (And immediately felt like a jerk for doing so :()

It was totally uncalled for on my part- I don't think he meant to be rude, he meant to be supportive. Or maybe he was even poking a bit of fun at himself for just walking when others were jogging.

That said, I have had people make outright cruel comments before, so I completely understand why this one could be interpreted as such. Once I was in an American Apparel looking at a pair of pants that would have looked hideous on anyone except a 5'9 model weighing 100 lbs when a salesperson came up to me and snarked "Oh are those for your younger sister?" It was an absolutely awful thing to say. People DO say really cruel things sometimes.

I think in this situation though, people -myself included- sometimes just make jokes that in a given context are more offensive than others. I'm sorry that for your sake that happened, but I am very confident (and hope very much) he was just being a goofy, oblivious dad.

It wasn't an insult - just a bad joke. Once at a family dinner someone looked at my plate and said with a smile "did you leave any for me?"

my response, with a smile "I dunno, stick your head in the oven and find out"


All is fair in love and insults, LOL!

I don't know that he 100% meant it as an insult, but one can't assume that just because they were dressed nicely, they were in church, either.

It just sounds like one of those dumb jokes people make in lieu of smalltalk. You two made eye contact, so he felt he had to say something. Probably would've used the same line on anyone, you know?

Walking down the street, minding my own business, I tripped (over nothing) and fell flat on my butt. 2 men were standing right there. Instead of saying hey, are you okay, and offering me a hand up off the ground, one said to the other "See? All the girls fall for you." I wasn't injured--I was embarrassed--but that comment did make me giggle.

He probably would have made that comment to whoever happened to be walking out as they were walking in, regardless of how many packages.