It wasn't about accepting myself at 375 it was about being able to live long enough to enjoy life and enjoy my niece and nephew. It was about accepting that I have to lose the weight if I want to continue to live without complications for open heart surgery. Realization of it all for me is I am happy to be me fat and all but I know life and living it to the fullest is the biggest challenge in everybody's life.

Help me...
 

I have been feeling this self hatred for the past couple of days. It probably has something to do with something that happened the other day. My husband got home from work and we had supper and decided to go for a walk, so I put on my stretchy workout pants and a tank top and we went out...While we walked along the River Lee in our beautiful city, we passed by two men who were sitting along the side of the footpath...one of the men pointed me out to his friend and they both started laughing, and making comments about using my stretchy workout pants to go bungee jumping. When I got home I hid myself from my husband and cried. I even made myself throw up, then claimed that my stomach was upset from dinner. Now today I still feel like **** I have only eaten 2 bananas and a piece of string cheese, and I worked out for an hour and a half, I am supposed to go out with my friends tonight but I feel so awful I don't know if I can face the world...I kinda just want to curl up in my bed. Anyone have any idea how I can get over this? Help me please!!

Originally Posted by quirky in cork:
Now today I still feel like **** I have only eaten 2 bananas and a piece of string cheese, and I worked out for an hour and a half, I am supposed to go out with my friends tonight but I feel so awful I don't know if I can face the world...I kinda just want to curl up in my bed. Anyone have any idea how I can get over this? Help me please!!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

There are rude people all over. Don't give them power.

Easier said than done, I know.

How about looking at it this way? -- What's going to make you feel better in the long run?

Laying in bed curled up wallowing in misery that some ignorant person made a stupid comment? ...Or... going out to have fun with friends and celebrating the fact that you're obviously making healthier choices in your life?

You deserve better. Starving/over-exercising/throwing up.. they're not healthy or sustainable ways of losing weight.

Take back your power! Continue eating healthfully, making better choices, and adding in activity like it seems you have been before this incident.

Believe me, quirky in cork, I am right there with you. I was walking home from work yesterday, and as I crossed the street, a guy on a bike rode right into my legs from behind and almost knocked me over. I looked at him, expecting his apology, and all he gave me was a weird look. So I was like, "You're not even going to apologize for running me over?" and he said, "Well, you take up a lot of space." So according to him being fat makes it okay to get run over by a moron on a bicycle. The worst part is that it was a older guy, 60s maybe, someone I would expect to have some manners. He's probably someone's father/grandfather, and that's how treated a young woman on the street.

It was so hurtful and mean, that I actually cried on the train on the way home. I'm sure everyone thought I was nuts or whatever, but I honestly couldn't help it. I try my best to treat people kindly and with respect, and that was just so beyond rude, I couldn't even comprehend it. Then I got home and felt so miserable, I didn't want to eat. I bought two cases of slim fast and was all ready to starve.

Then I woke up this morning and changed my mind. Why am I going to let some mean a-hole make me starve myself? I have family and friends that love me. I'm smart, funny, caring, compassionate - I would have never treated a person in the street like that. I have a lot of amazing qualities, and it's time to stop hating myself. The scary part is when I realized I was sort of agreeing with the guy, that I'm some lower lifeform who deserves that kind of treatment. I realize I'm not going to change my opinion of myself overnight, but I know I deserve better.

Yes, I am trying to lose weight so I can be healthier and happier, but in the meantime, I'm still a great person. If there is one person on this entire earth that can love me, it's me. If I don't love myself, truly, than who will? So I'd better start acting like it.

It's tough, but it's a HUGE part of being successful for me. In fact, my struggle is about 95% mental. I hope that helps a little. Good luck.

Quirk: If that happens again, look at them, whisper something to your husband then point to them and collapse on the ground laughing in a fit of hysteria. The laughter will make you feel better, but they'll probably be too dense to get the message.


Mamba: My first thought was that I would have knocked him and his bike to the ground and said "Next time, stay out of the space I'm in." A minute or two later, I thought naw just yank the bike up into his jollies then ask him how he likes being accosted, wish him a nice day, then walk away whistling.

:o OK. I often tell my brother that I know some of my thoughts make God ask if I remeber Whose child I am. Ones like that^. Hopefully that's then end of my vengeful thoughts for the day. Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet.

Mamba: are you serious!!! OMG, I am normally a reasonably behaved person but if some old guy did that to me I would have gone ape. "Oh really? Why do you think I am out here walking, dumbass? Why don't you mind your own business and stop blaming other people for what old age is doing to your vision."

quirky -- screw them! You are more than just a body. You are a beautiful, unique human being and it's their loss for being so close-minded not to see it.

Now I'm mad!! There are so many mean people out there!! Bollocks to them!!

Quirky, I know how you feel, and I know a lot of us do. It took me a while to take responsibility for my reaction to jerks like this one. But a counselor put it to me this way once, and it made a lot of sense to me: When someone is hateful like this, they're trying to make you ashamed of yourself (for whatever reason; because they feel powerless or insignificant, why doesn't matter). If you allow yourself to feel shame or to punish yourself in response, then you're allowing them to define your reality. Do you really want to do that?

I don't believe you--or any of us--needs to feel shame for who we are and least of all for how our bodies look. Strangers on the street see us at a moment in time; they have no idea who we are or what our life stories are, and they have no right to judge you. So I don't believe we should allow them to distort our own sense of self.

But it's true, when you hide yourself away from your friends and family and make yourself throw up, you're punishing yourself. If those jerks had any intention, it was to make you feel just like that. Please, please, don't let them win.

The best revenge is to live well.

Quirky, I'm incredibly sorry someone talked you like that! It's happened to me a couple of times. I was passing the barber shop next store from my house, and someone said I looked like a football player. A week after that, someone said something similar at school. I think the best thing to do is just brush it aside, that person probably leads a miserable life and makes fun of people to make themselves feel better. Appreciate what your body does for you now, and what it can do when you lose whatever you want to lose. But for now, love your body for what it's capable of! When my 300 pound big butt self goes out in shorts and a tank top I hope someone says something! I hope I offend everyone! Because people got to realize that there's nothing wrong with my size, it has no reflection on me or what type of person I am.

Try and find some size acceptance blogs. I'm not trying to say you shouldn't do with your body what you want, but they helped me accept myself more. Fat is beautiful, skinny is beautiful, normal is beautiful.

I know all of this is better said than done. I just want you to know, that they're WRONG and there's nothing wrong with you. Those guys and bully's like them can just BUG OFF.