Looking for some friends
 

I am over 300lbs and really feel lost. Food is an addiction to me. I have used eating to feel better for over 5 years now and it is killing me. I have no one I can talk to about how I feel or who can understand where I am coming from. I am the "big girl" of my family and they all have tons of things to say to me on why I am the size I am and why I don't lose weight but none of them are concerned about how I feel just how I look.:?:

My journey with weight problems start about 5 years ago. I found out I had a large brain tumor pressing against my brain stem and needed life saving surgery. I weighed in about 190lbs then so I was a little heavy but NOTHING like now. The surgery did not go well and I almost died on the table a few times. I spent over two weeks on a breathing tube and was in ICU for close two three weeks. During the surgery, my lungs were flooded with fluid which caused me to have a heart attack. After I recovered from the brain surgery, I had a pacemaker put in as it had permanently damaged my heart. I also suffered some facial paralysis and loss the hearing in my right ear Then about 2 years ago I had my thyroid removed and then the pounds really started packing on!! I remember the first time I hit over 300lbs, I was devastated to the point that I became suicidal. Adding to all this weight gain was the fact that I lost my mobility and have now ended up in a wheelchair due to spinal stenosis.

I feel like I am invisible to everyone. The only time I am acknowledge is when I see someone staring at me with disgust on their faces or even worse, people pointing and laughing at me. I know it probably seems like I am complaining a lot but I am not, I just wanted to let you know where I am coming from. I know that God has been good to me.

I so look forward to making some friends who are on the weight loss journey too...already some of you have been a HUGE encouragement!!

I am so sorry for all you have been through. God must have special plans for you to test you so much and to the people who point and laugh - shame on them! Seriously??? Who does that? It is beyond rude, it is downright cruel. I have had some trials and struggles in my life, too, so I know how hard it can seem simply to get out of bed in the morning. But you CAN do this! It would be nice if your family were on board but it seems like you are strong enough to do it on your own. Anyway, I would be more than happy if you counted me as a "friend!"

Welcome and I know how you feel about the looks of disgust you get from people in the general public. It saddens me very much that people look at us that way. Let me just say I am glad you are alive. Better yet I am glad you are alive and that you are a survivor; so look at this as another hurdle to survive. Its going to be hard for you at times but look at all the support you will get just from this board. They do not judge and are not cruel. Feel free to consider me a friend. Smile its makes people wonder what you are up too.

Lynn

Hi Squirrellee,
Your new friend here! Is it O.K. if I call you Lee for short. You have been through **** and are making your way back.
Would you do me a favor and stop on over at POSITIVE UPLIFTING NOTIFICATION: One Positive Thing About Me Today Is......Part Fourteen.
It's located here in the 300+ section. We're a great bunch of friends and always looking for more friends to join us.
Whatever you do stop in everyday and share your day with us. I look forward to getting to know you better. You've come to a great place for support and motivation.

Learn

Thank You!!
 

Thank you all for those comments!! I can barely see the keyboard because I am crying happy tears!! I am new to this so I haven't figured out how to add friends yet but I would LOVE to call you ladies my friends!!

Hi Squirrellee - Count me in as one of your friends! I will be praying for you and I would love to be an encouragement to you.

Hi Squirrellee and welcome to 3fc's! I'm so sorry for all the struggles you've endured.

I'm very glad you've joined us. Please stick around; post often and let us cheer you on and encourage you!

WHat a strong woman you are. Im so glad you found us. <3

you have been through so much!! i will gladly be your friend!!:hug: you have already proven how strong you are!! you've found a great place for support!! keep smiling!!

I agree with what everyone has said. You have had a lot of hard knocks but you are looking forward to being healthy, both mind and spirit. I know that sounds strange in my head but you have BALLS.

Hi. I understand. I know your weight struggles and I am sorry that there are people on this earth who do not know yet that we are here to help each other! Although I did not have brain surgery, my older daughter did several years ago, and I went thru all of that with her. God sent me to be her Mom and I knew then what a gift that was. And every day (that was August of 1999) that she is here is a blessing! So many spiritual doors opened for me. She used to ask me "why?" and what she did. I told her that she did nothing that it was a learning experience-for everyone involved.
Hang out with us! There is a very supportive group of folks in every group on here and you can post to us! If you have a bad day, week, or month-it's ok to say so! Sometimes I whine...sometimes I am sure folks are saying "what's she sooo happy about?"
AND if you have a question, just ask. Lots of folks with real answers here!
If you try to switch over to a healthy diet-in your case-slowly, eventually those cravings go away. Best wishes. Have a good-or better- weekend ; )

squirrellee, I am so sorry you have gone threw so much. I was over 300lb one time in my life too. It was very hard, I felt depressed and hated myself. But now, I am loosing weight and I am starting to feel better about myself. you just need to look inside yourself and see the person you want to become, you can do it!
I of course will be your friend, we all will!! Take care of yourself and remember we are all here for support :hug:.

I am blown away by the support you ladies have been to me!! :hug: I never thought in a million years, that so many people would reach out to me...I am speechless and moved to tears...I was really at the end of my rope gals..you can only imagine what your friendship means to me!! I AM NOT ALONE!! Thank you Jesus!!

I can't even begin to comprehend what you have been through and are still dealing with. You sound amazingly strong. If you have been able to get through all that, you can do anything you set your mind to!

Welcome! Always glad to have more friends! Anytime you need, my skype and msn are listed gimmi an IM you CAN do this. I face some trials with losing weight too but nothing like this. Ignore them and do everything you can! :hug:

Hi,

:hug: Hugs from a mate in the great Land of Oz - the land downunder!

You have been through so much but you are among friends now, so everything will be all right. You will find that the people here have amazing hearts and the support they offer is second to none. No one will judge you badly. We all need a little help or a hand extended sometimes.

When things have been pretty grim, I have always known that the lovely people at 3FCs will guide me to a good course.

Come back often. Let us know how you are doing. Sharing helps motivate us all to new heights. As the weight comes off, the confidence levels rise.

You can do this, it will take time but in the end, it will be worth it.

Take care.

Oh my gosh! What an INSPIRING thing to say! There are those of us who have not experienced anywhere NEAR the challenges you have experienced and we feel just fine complaining away! ha!

I will repeat what a few others have said:

1) What Dorothy said! You have BALLS!!!!! Big ones!! I am in awe of your humungus balls, and they inspire me to grow a pair myself! hahaha I hope that doesn't offend anyone, but I think it's a perfect way to put it!

2) I would be absolutely proud to call you a friend!

3) What Learningtoliveagain said about the positive thread is so true. I've been over there since the beginning and I have made unbelievably inspiring friends there. I have never met any of those ladies, but I feel like I know them, and it's a very comforting place to be.

4) You can do this!

:hug: Thank you for your story, and for joining us on this bumpy-a$$ but exciting and inspiring journey of self-discovery and making ourselves whole! :hug:

AMEN!

WOW, you ladies are such a blessing..I thank you all soooo much!! We WILL do this together!!:carrot:

First of all I wish I could give you a huge hug cause momma you sure need it!! I think we can all feel your pain!! The worst for me is the cocky teenage boys who walk by giggling and making comments that I can obviously hear! It makes you want to just cry! I have never been suicidal about my weight but I have been to the point of just wanting to hide in my house and never go out again.

I am just amazed at all you have gone though.. sweetie you are one strong person.. you can get this weight off!!! You have survived sooo much it shouldn't even be a question of if you can do it! You made it through all that you can make it through this too!

I am ALWAYS looking for buddies! I just started my calorie counting on Monday so I am just starting my journey. If you go into my profile you will see my yahoo IM name and if you just add @yahoo.com to the end you can send me a message or if you have chat just add me and when you see me on send me a message! I am always around and I will give you any support and help I possible can!!

STAY STRONG!! ****hugs****

Squirrellee
You know, I have been thinking about what to say to this thread for 2 days now and I pretty much feel the same way everyone else here does. You have been dealt a lousy hand of cards and I am so sorry. You are a very strong person and have proven so by making it through all of that mess with a determination to move forward. As long as you keep that fight alive within yourself, you can do anything you want to do with your life. You do not sound like you're complaining at all. You sound like a person looking for a friendly ear and 3FC has those in abundance. Count me in as a new friend and I'm a pm away. I don't even know you, but I am proud of you. Dorothy and Shannon are right, you've got balls! I hope we chat more in the positive thread since I seem to gravitated there. :hug:

I do want to say to you and the others who have had to deal with rude ignorant people... They don't deserve even a thought in your mind because they are that low. I've had it happen to me too, and I've shed my fair share of tears over it but you know what, clearly they were raised by wolves because decent human beings don't set out to make others feel lower than pond scum. People like that aren't even worth the time. You are all wonderful people and you deserve common decency. Don't let some jerks take that away. Keep your heads held high and laugh right back because you know you're that awesome! Besides, it seems to bug them when they don't get a rise out of you which just makes it comical and then you'll really be laughing. ;)

-J

squirrellee- we are so glad you are here with us. Please join in our the monthly threads. That goes for everyone. Its great way to get and give support.

squirrellee, please add me to your list of friends also. I have been up to 350 lbs (at least) and I always felt like a monster. I wished I was invisible so people wouldn't look at me. When I look at my old pics, I actually see a beautiful girl - I wish I had seen her then.

Food is an addiction for me also and I struggle with that addiction most days.

You have definitely been through a lot, but you been blessed even more because you are still here. If you ever want to talk, let me know.

Squirelee, first off :hug: welcome to 3FC.

You do know that many people would have thrown in the towel after just ONE of the obstacles that you have overcome...right? Let me just say this to you so that you hear it. You are a *survivor*. You are stronger than you know. As for the people who make fun or worse look through you...I have been there...done that and you know what? Screw them. Pity them for the shallow people that they are. We can ALL lose weight, but they have that inner ugliness that most likely will never change. So...don't waste a single moment of YOUR life over them. They are not worth it.

You, however, are worth every minute that you put into taking care of yourself and this board is full of awesome people who know what its like to feel invisible...because we have been there...and are still there as we continue on our journey.

Every journey starts with a single step and you have done that...so you are well on your way!!

When you get 20 post..You can always PM me and vent..which I could be your net friend for moral support. I am sorry emotions you are dealing with and just stay strong and positive. You post on here and that is a great start..Good luck with your efforts. One day at a time. We can do it!! :):hug:

Very well put, I only wish I had understood that comment deep down years earlier.

Squirellee, welcome. :hug: :cheer2:We are all in this together. We may not have all the same experiences, but we probably have some in common, so let us know how we can help you in your efforts.

Welcome to 3FC, and a great big cyber hug for all you've been through. You are a very strong person to have overcome all that you've been through, and if you've made it through that, you can do this too. You are among friends, supportive, non-judgmental friends. Feel free to add me to your friend list.