I am over 300lbs and really feel lost. Food is an addiction to me. I have used eating to feel better for over 5 years now and it is killing me. I have no one I can talk to about how I feel or who can understand where I am coming from. I am the "big girl" of my family and they all have tons of things to say to me on why I am the size I am and why I don't lose weight but none of them are concerned about how I feel just how I look.

My journey with weight problems start about 5 years ago. I found out I had a large brain tumor pressing against my brain stem and needed life saving surgery. I weighed in about 190lbs then so I was a little heavy but NOTHING like now. The surgery did not go well and I almost died on the table a few times. I spent over two weeks on a breathing tube and was in ICU for close two three weeks. During the surgery, my lungs were flooded with fluid which caused me to have a heart attack. After I recovered from the brain surgery, I had a pacemaker put in as it had permanently damaged my heart. I also suffered some facial paralysis and loss the hearing in my right ear Then about 2 years ago I had my thyroid removed and then the pounds really started packing on!! I remember the first time I hit over 300lbs, I was devastated to the point that I became suicidal. Adding to all this weight gain was the fact that I lost my mobility and have now ended up in a wheelchair due to spinal stenosis.

I feel like I am invisible to everyone. The only time I am acknowledge is when I see someone staring at me with disgust on their faces or even worse, people pointing and laughing at me. I know it probably seems like I am complaining a lot but I am not, I just wanted to let you know where I am coming from. I know that God has been good to me.

I so look forward to making some friends who are on the weight loss journey too...already some of you have been a HUGE encouragement!!

I am so sorry for all you have been through. God must have special plans for you to test you so much and to the people who point and laugh - shame on them! Seriously??? Who does that? It is beyond rude, it is downright cruel. I have had some trials and struggles in my life, too, so I know how hard it can seem simply to get out of bed in the morning. But you CAN do this! It would be nice if your family were on board but it seems like you are strong enough to do it on your own. Anyway, I would be more than happy if you counted me as a "friend!"

Welcome and I know how you feel about the looks of disgust you get from people in the general public. It saddens me very much that people look at us that way. Let me just say I am glad you are alive. Better yet I am glad you are alive and that you are a survivor; so look at this as another hurdle to survive. Its going to be hard for you at times but look at all the support you will get just from this board. They do not judge and are not cruel. Feel free to consider me a friend. Smile its makes people wonder what you are up too.

Lynn

Hi Squirrellee,
Your new friend here! Is it O.K. if I call you Lee for short. You have been through **** and are making your way back.
Would you do me a favor and stop on over at POSITIVE UPLIFTING NOTIFICATION: One Positive Thing About Me Today Is......Part Fourteen.
It's located here in the 300+ section. We're a great bunch of friends and always looking for more friends to join us.
Whatever you do stop in everyday and share your day with us. I look forward to getting to know you better. You've come to a great place for support and motivation.

Learn

Thank you all for those comments!! I can barely see the keyboard because I am crying happy tears!! I am new to this so I haven't figured out how to add friends yet but I would LOVE to call you ladies my friends!!

Hi Squirrellee - Count me in as one of your friends! I will be praying for you and I would love to be an encouragement to you.

Hi Squirrellee and welcome to 3fc's! I'm so sorry for all the struggles you've endured.

I'm very glad you've joined us. Please stick around; post often and let us cheer you on and encourage you!

WHat a strong woman you are. Im so glad you found us. <3

you have been through so much!! i will gladly be your friend!! you have already proven how strong you are!! you've found a great place for support!! keep smiling!!

I agree with what everyone has said. You have had a lot of hard knocks but you are looking forward to being healthy, both mind and spirit. I know that sounds strange in my head but you have BALLS.

Hi. I understand. I know your weight struggles and I am sorry that there are people on this earth who do not know yet that we are here to help each other! Although I did not have brain surgery, my older daughter did several years ago, and I went thru all of that with her. God sent me to be her Mom and I knew then what a gift that was. And every day (that was August of 1999) that she is here is a blessing! So many spiritual doors opened for me. She used to ask me "why?" and what she did. I told her that she did nothing that it was a learning experience-for everyone involved.
Hang out with us! There is a very supportive group of folks in every group on here and you can post to us! If you have a bad day, week, or month-it's ok to say so! Sometimes I whine...sometimes I am sure folks are saying "what's she sooo happy about?"
AND if you have a question, just ask. Lots of folks with real answers here!
If you try to switch over to a healthy diet-in your case-slowly, eventually those cravings go away. Best wishes. Have a good-or better- weekend ; )

squirrellee, I am so sorry you have gone threw so much. I was over 300lb one time in my life too. It was very hard, I felt depressed and hated myself. But now, I am loosing weight and I am starting to feel better about myself. you just need to look inside yourself and see the person you want to become, you can do it!
I of course will be your friend, we all will!! Take care of yourself and remember we are all here for support .

I am blown away by the support you ladies have been to me!! I never thought in a million years, that so many people would reach out to me...I am speechless and moved to tears...I was really at the end of my rope gals..you can only imagine what your friendship means to me!! I AM NOT ALONE!! Thank you Jesus!!

I can't even begin to comprehend what you have been through and are still dealing with. You sound amazingly strong. If you have been able to get through all that, you can do anything you set your mind to!