So up until about 3 months ago, I was doing really well. I had cut out fast food, sodas, and was exercising. I had gone to the doctor and she put me on anti-depressants and high blood pressure pills. My BP was high. Really, really high. And so for a while life was good.

And then the stress hit. Work got insane. I missed taking my pills one day. And then one turned into two. Before I knew it, I had fallen off the wagon hard to enough to crack my tailbone for 3 months.

Last week was the health fair at work, and we were all scheduled to go. I really did not want to, but went anyway. Oh the joys of getting weighed in front of an entire room of people! I had gained back every single pound, and they each brought a friend. My blood sugar and cholesterol were fine, but BP was scary. 187/110 scary. "Please sign this form that you are going to go see your doctor in 48 hours" scary.

I started the pills back up the next day. I tried to get a refill of the BP pills, but the doctor insisted I make an appointment. It is tomorrow. Now I know I have lost some water weight as many trips as I have taken to the bathroom, but I am nervous about tomorrow. I sincerely dislike going to the doctor and I know she is going to want me to do blood work again. My personal philosophy is that your skin is there to keep the blood in, and if it was meant to come out there would be a hole there for it.

But I am also excited, since I am doing better again and hope she sees that... after she stops yelling at me for just stopping taking all my medications. (Which I know I deserve, cause well, I was really really bad.)

Wow, this post ended up a lot longer than I thought, but the writing is very cathartic!

Hey the important thing is that you are starting your healthy habits again!
Don't look back just look forward. You can't change what has happened but you can change what will happen - think positive. Blood work is no biggee - just look the other way when they come at you with the needle - you can do it.
I do understand where your coming from though - I have a low parathyroid so I have to take this stuff called calcitriol which I guess has a chance of causing kidney stones. So they want me to do this test where I collect my pee in a container all day and bring it in. Say what????? I'll give blood all day but collect my pee and bring it somewhere? No way!!!! So I have been putting it off for oh, like 2 years. I need a new prescription for the calcitriol and they said I have to do the darn test first.
I will tell you a sad story about avoiding the doctor because they might yell about the weight. My best friends mom was very large - and she thought she had a hemmerhoid (sp??) for years and would never get it checked because she thought the doctor would go ballistic over her weight. So last fall she finally got it checked out.....it was cancer....she died in July. DO NOT let fear of the doctor saying something about weight keep you from going!

Ban -

It will be okay. I had a crazy phobia of going to the doctor too. I was worried that my doctor was going to yell at me for being overweight and not taking my pills as I was supposed to. She was actually very nice. She understood that I knew the risks, and told me what she thought I should (TAKE MY PILLS!). It was a wake up call. Doctors are there to help you, not make you feel bad about yourself. If yours makes you feel bad, you need to see someone else.

Things can only get better! Good luck.

Well, the visit started amazing. My weight last week was 305 NOT 307 which was the easiest 2 pounds I have lost!

Well, in one week not only did my BP come down to normal, but I lost 6.5 pounds!

YAY!