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Old 08-25-2010, 04:01 PM   #466  
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I wanted to thank everyone that offered encouragement for me today. I got back from class a little while ago. I'm feeling pretty down right now. As expected, I'm the biggest person, but not just that, all the other girls are well under 200lbs. Good news is that we have tables and not desks, but the bad news is the chairs have arms and they are SO painful digging into me. I was really surprised when I got home that I didn't have bruises already. After being home an hour I still hurt. I found it really hard to think about anything but how much it hurt and praying it didn't break. I thought the instructor was very nice, but she has a different style of teaching than what I would like. She had us get into pairs and make a poster board of one tiny bit of a chapter, then we had to get up and present. So I found that instead of learning while the others were presenting, I was too worried about having to stand up and say something myself. I feel personally I'd learn a lot more if we didn't have to do those things. She also told use that we will be working on each others feet, brushing each others teeth, and (dear Lord shame/horror/cringe) giving each other bed baths. We get to keep on shorts and a tank, but still. I think I'd rather die than have to lift the back of my shirt up so someone can wash my fat rolls. Will also have to cover my cartilage piercings (2 hoops) with a band aid since they are too new too take out. I'm sorry for how long this is, and looking for help all the time. I'm just feeling so down about this I'm in tears. If I could just fit in that chair without pain I feel I'd be able to learn so much better. All these years I knew I was gaining weight, but I just don't think I realized I was SO big, until I got here. It's like one day I thought I was 'fluffy' and woke up and realized I was a whale. Every fear and apprehension about this class is all cause of my size, and no amount of trying or POPping is gonna make my butt fit in that chair by Nov 10 (when the class ends) Sounds crazy, but I'll be thrilled for clinicals where we are doing work and not having to sit. I'm sorry, I just feel like I don't belong. Just the fatty who has to try 10 times as hard as the other person to make up for her size. We don't have to wear our uniform until Sept 20th, I wonder if that's enough time to reduce the swelling in my feet so my shoes don't kill me...

I think one of the worst parts of this day is that I kept telling myself that I'm fat so I don't deserve to be comfortable. I should just be thankful I got my butt into the chair and not complain about the pain.

So...to make this legit...my positive is that I went to class, and stayed.
(I don't want to drag the mood around here down, but I do so appreciate when someone takes the time to respond to me, I really have no one else to talk to, I'm sorry.)
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Old 08-25-2010, 05:08 PM   #467  
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Kitsey - First of all, you don't have to apologize!! That's why we are here, to offer support and encouragement! I can relate to most of what you are talking about! I'm proud of you for staying!! That is a great positive! If you put your mind to it, I'm sure you could POP you way into that chair comfortably in no time! Being positive is sometimes hard to do and that's just the plain truth but it's not impossible. Try to focus more on why you are there and the good things you will be doing for others. I doubt everybody in the class will have to give each other bed baths and do those other things. I mean, you only need to see it done once. Your instructor can't make you do it. If it comes to that, I would just tell the instructor that you don't feel comfortable with it. A lot of people are that way and it has nothing to do with their weight.

Just try not to stress yourself out too much! It's not good for you! You are doing fine!! Just keep telling yourself that you can do this and you are worth it!! I have learned that if you aren't comfortable with yourself, people can sense that and it makes them uncomfortable. I believe that you will do great!! We are here for you girl!!
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Old 08-25-2010, 05:12 PM   #468  
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Ah, Kitsey, I'm sorry you were so uncomfortable. I hate when chairs don't fit and it sort of makes me feel even bigger! Is it possible for you to arrive early to class to find a chair that you can use that doesn't have arms? I've done this at restaurants, etc. (where it's kind of embarrassing), but if you arrive before your class, perhaps you can substitute a chair that will make you comfortable. If you need to say anything to your instructor, you just have to say, "I need this chair to be able to concentrate on the information you're presenting." I teach at the college level, and if a student came to me with a request/statement like that, I'd be perfectly fine with it (and would, in fact, think positively of him/her for taking initiative).

You're doing what you need to be doing right now, as uncomfortable as it is. You're losing weight. You're getting education that will lead to a career so you'll be able to take care of yourself. Everything is on track--it's pretty easy for me to say, sitting here, but you have a LOT of positives going for you. Can you focus on your goals and where you want to be? Can you see it so clearly that it's almost real? Maybe spend some time visualizing how all of this is going to be--it will take time and it will take work, but you're already doing that!

Hang in there, sweetie. I understand your frustration. But you're learning more than just the basics, which to my teacher brain seems like a great thing. You'll have to be able to speak intelligently to doctors and patients (and that in-public presentation is to help you learn how to do that).

And you probably have a good perspective on some things that other students may not have even thought about but that they might need to know about caring for other people's bodies.

{HUGS} You can do it. I believe in you. You've already come so far!
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Old 08-25-2010, 05:49 PM   #469  
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LiliK.I love you're new picture you're a cutie stay w/it !!! I've hit several plateau's and thought i was gonna lose my mine each time
But now i handle them a little better.Try to get moving more or drink more water.The weight will come off eventually.Hang in there.

Shannon you did great for the month. the lost averages out to a healthy weight lost for each week so,that's great.

Stella,glad you and your DM was there for your Mother's friend final hours may she Rest in Peace

Ags,take care of yourself.Out of all the madness,You're getting some exercise,I know it's rough on you but you're handling it

Learn,hope you had a good day and had a chance to get in the pool

Kitsey can you ask the teacher if you can get another chair from another room, bring your won or something? don't be so down on yourself.

We all ate and let our weight creep up,not thinking about what all the bad choices w/ food was doing to us.But you've woke up and are doing something about it now.You can't change the past...it is,what it is.

But you're changing your future.You've changed your eating habits and your future's gonna be so bright you're gonna need sunglasses. Hold your head up and know that you won't be that way always and realize what a strong woman you are.(XO)


Quotes of the day I'd like to share

TODAY'sQUOTES
"He who angers you conquers you."

- Elizabeth Kenny, was an Australian pioneering physical therapist curing millions of people from Polio in the early 1900s.

"Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer."

- Niccolo Machiavelli, was a philosopher, writer, and Italian politician. *Editors note, although I disagree with a lot of what Machiavelli stood for, this quote contains great wisdom.

"I am grateful for all my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger and more able to meet those that were still to come. I grew in all my difficulties."

- J. C. Penny, was a businessman and entrepreneur. In 1902, he founded the J.C. Penney stores

Last edited by OnaMi; 08-25-2010 at 07:33 PM.
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Old 08-25-2010, 07:36 PM   #470  
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Good Evening Ladies....

Well, I got a surprise this morning and one that surprisingly I am happy about and that is that my TOM showed up this morning...yeahhhh why am I so happy you ask? Because I wanted to get it and be done with it before I go see the doctor next week and 2. I weighed myself today and was 271 but since I got my TOM today hopefully after it leaves I will lose another couple pounds and be into the 260's finally so I am keeping my fingers crossed. Only thing I am not happy about is the damn cramps that come with it and I have been crabby my poor hubby the things he puts up with when I am on my TOM LOL and tomorrow is our 4-year anniversary..I cant believe it has been that long already wow.

Thinmint...thank you so much for the banner and the nice anniversary "card" ( Im not sure what else to call it LOL) I showed it to my husband too and he said "aww that was nice"

Devsmama...thanks...hopefully I will lose a couple more I weighed this morning before my TOM showed up so hopefully I will have a nice whoosh when it leaves

shannon...congrats on the 9 lb weight loss! That is wonderful that works out to almost 2 lbs a week and that is what alot of doctors tell you is to lose 1-2 lbs a week cause anything else would be too fast.

Well, that is all for now for me..I am going to go and take an advil for my cramps and then at 8pm is big brother..I LOVE that show and it is really the only show my husband and I watch together cause we definately dont share the same taste in tv shows so it is nice when we both get into watching a show together...sometimes he will watch biggest loser with me but not all the time and speaking of biggest loser I cant wait only about 3 MORE WEEKS TILL IT STARTS...WHOOHOOO

Alright Im outta here for now I will check in with you ladies later
keep rockin'
Heather

Last edited by hbieber2006; 08-25-2010 at 07:37 PM.
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Old 08-25-2010, 08:14 PM   #471  
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Kitsey,

I was only going to post hello to everyone and then go and put my feet up but I cannot. I read your post and darling, I wish I could take your pain away, I wish I could say something, anything, that would make you stop hurting, but this I can do, you are not alone and believe me when I tell you, I know just how you feel. I do have a suggestion, and as you and I know that nothing beats a failure but a try. So try this, first pull your teacher to the side and ask her if there is anyway possible for you to have a chair without arms, I do it all the time no matter where I am, restaurants, on-sites, doctor's office, even once at a BroadWay play, yep, you heard me right, a Broadway play. So many times we have not, because we ask not, so ask darling, you might just get what you need. Now let me say this to you, I am so darn proud of you that you displayed the strength and the courage to stay. That took guts and girl you have them!!!! Positive number one!!! Now here comes your positive number two, you are going to pray tonight that the Lord gives you the strength to overpower your mind and not to focus on what others may say or think when you are up presenting your assignments, that you will only focus on what you are there for, to learn, get yourself certified and to focus on your future. You see Kitsey, we cannot control anyone else, only ourselves. No one has control over us, unless we give it to them, and gosh darn it, you are not going to give them any power over you!!!! Now I know how you feel about the bathing and the feet, I am sure that I would too, but just think, all of this is a learning experience and you as well as the others, will not only have petite patients, but patients of all sizes and shapes, some of those same patients you have to tend too may have some of the same concerns you have about yourself. You are going to have to try with all your might to face this head on, and when you do, you Kitsey, would have won the battle. I know that it will not be easy, but what is life worth having is!!!! You can do this, I know you can and I will be right here praying for your every single step of the way. Face your demons head on and let them know you are BOSS!!!!!!!

Now stop telling yourself that you are fat and that you do not deserve to be comfortable because that is a right out LIE!!!!!!! Speak LIFE to yourself and it shall come to pass. Tell yourself, that you are getting thinner everyday and that you desereve everything good thing that LIFE has to offer, tell yourself I can do this and I will do this, tell yourself you are beautiful and loving and kind because you are. And when you do this over and over again, believe it for it is the truth.

I love you girl, you can, you will do this and this one situation WILL NOT DEFEAT YOU!!!!!!

With that I will close this thread and start Part Eleven.

Hugs love and blessings,
Make every moment count,
Ags

Congrats to all, way to much to back track on, I will pick up in Eleven.
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:04 PM   #472  
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Forgive The Quick Post Again-still Trying To Get This Ticker To Post-

STILL NOT WORKING

Last edited by PJK; 08-28-2010 at 08:06 PM.
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:13 PM   #473  
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I Hope This Is Not Annoying Anyone--but I Cant Get This To Show--help! IT WORKS YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPEE

Last edited by PJK; 08-28-2010 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:48 PM   #474  
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Good Saturday Evening Ladies!

DARLIN' MISS KITSEY! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING TO SCHOOL! YOU DESERVE ALL YOU WILL LEARN THERE AND ALL!!! YOU WILL BECOME--I AGREE, TALK TO YOUR INSTRUCTOR, IT IS VERY OFTEN DIFFICULT FOR WE (AS WOMEN, ESPECIALLY) TO LET OUR NEEDS BE KNOWN, BUT THE MORE WE LET OUR VOICES BE HEARD AND ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT/NEED THE MORE CONFIDENT WE BECOME, AND IT MAKES IT SO MUCH EASIER THE NEXT TIME WE NEED TO DO IT. YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION AND SO COURAGEOUS-REMEMBER THAT! LOVE TO YA!

STELLA- YOU ARE SO SUPPORTIVE AND COMPASSIONATE--DITTO! ON ALL THAT YOU SAID...

HEATHER-YOU ROCK GIRL! THERE IS A CONSELLATION PRIZE AWAITING YOU WHEN YOU TURN 50 (MOST LIKELY) NO MORE OF THAT STUFF--"CRAMPS,WHAT CRAMPS?

LILIK- GOD BLESS NEW ORLEANS! WERE YOU THERE @ THE TIME OF KATRINA--MY THOUGHTS/PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU ALL, I PRAY TO GOD NOTHING LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

UGS! THERE ARE NO WORDS TO ADEQUATELY EXPRESS HOW WONDERFUL I THINK YOU (AND YOUR POSTS) ARE, YOUR PERSONALITY, WARMTH AND UTTER LOVE SHINE THROUGH EACH ONE OF THEM! I FEEL BETTER EVERYTIME

ONAMI--THANK YOU MA'AM FOR THE QUOTES! ONE OF MY FAVORITES...GOD CAN DREAM A BIGGER DREAM FOR YOU THAN YOU CAN FOR YOURSELF (OPRAH WINFREY)

I WISH ALL OF YOU CHICKIES A GOOD NIGHT!

PAMELA
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Old 09-01-2010, 11:20 PM   #475  
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Pjk,
I think I like Pam alot if that is okay with you.

Pam, please remember to post in Part 11, it is up and running now, somehow I forgot to close this thread. Thank you so much for all of your love and words that made my day. I love you girl.

Hugs love and blessings,
Ags

Don't forget part 11 now for I am closing this thread now.
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