Heather - Thanks hon.

Annie - Glad you have a good GP to fight for you at least. The new pup is a golden, right? Is Pepper the same type? I love dogs!


I realize that it might be hard for some people to understand why this upset me so much, but my pastor told me today she's retiring in June. I had a childhood with a lot of abuse and neglect, and she's been like a 2nd mom to me. We meet most weeks and talk for a few hours and she's always there to email me or give me hugs. Anyway, she is pretty much my only support right now. I am really isolated and it's hard for me to get close to people because I hate myself so much. She just means so much to me, I spend Christmas at her house. I knew she was going to retire soon (she's 65) but it's just really hard, I feel sad and scared. She is also moving away.

Pink -- Sweetie of course you're upset. It's like losing your mom!! I hope you can find ways to get more support!

Thanks Heather,

I just feel really heartbroken right now.

I came home and threw up and sobbed for hours, and I feel exhausted now. I still can't breathe properly.

I get really depressed a lot, and she is always there for me. I'm afraid of looking after myself (I'm 27, it's kind of pathetic)

We are going to try to find me a counsellor and maybe another pastor she's friends with with help give me support, but I am just heartbroken. I feel bad because I feel like I should be happy for her (she's moving to be closer to her grandchildren), but part of me just feels like screaming "But what about me???"

Sorry for the earful

Pink - *HUGS* Hang in there...one door closes another opens, sometimes more than one. *HUGS*

Annie - I think it is a good idea to find out more. It sounds like a scary situation and I hope you are doing okay. I hate not knowing what is going on with me, I can assume you are the same as most of us are. *HUGS* I hope you get some answers sooner rather than later.

Chattykathy - Welcome welcome welcome! :D

Gypsy - Welcome as well! :D

*****
Well...yeah okay I'm hormonal lol. I want FOOD, but I have resisted the evils of what is out there...instead I managed to have a spoonful of raw honey (i want sweets) and I made a raw apple crumble thing. Meh, tasted okay, I had a few spoonfuls and was happy. I just sort of threw it together, for a quick thing, like 4 minutes to make, it was pretty good. Makes me wonder what other healthy treats I can whip up.

*waits for TOM*

Ratkity, I know what you mean about having your house that clean...lol...that was cute. Sounds like you have it all together as for your follow up care. Good for you! I'm excited for you!!

Heatherb, wow! 5 mile walk is great to start off with. And the NSV of not snacking at night, thats a HUGE accomplishment. Thats my big downfall too. I can do great during the day but suck at nights. I'm doing better this time around though.

Kayley, good to see you back and the puter problems are solved!

Pink, I love BL ! I don't think I could of stood in front of my whole town nd weighed in front of them though. The humiliation factor for myself and my family would be too much for me.

Catherine, that would be awful if you are allergic to him...LOL. I found when I have a visit from TOM, my weight will go up the week before, then I lose about 5lbs while on it and wont have any cravings and then right after its gone, I'm eating everything in sight! It totally sucks!!

erinkman, I'm with you...I feel the same way. I just hope it keeps up but I'm sure theres going to be a wall that I hit and want to get back to the bad foods and behaviors. Gotta think positive though!!

Dani, glad to hear the meds are working for you and wonderful that you lost a pound over the holidays!!

Annie, Its called Walk it off and its for the Wii and you can use your wii board or the dance pad from DDR. It just looks like you are walking thru neighborhoods and different places. You're a cartoon avatar. Its sorta cute. I looked it up under Amazon.com. I like walking best of all so this seems right up my alley. I hope you find out the answers you need from your doctor. I'm so sorry you've come so far and for this to happen to you. Feel better...*hugs*
Aw, so glad to hear that she's eating again. I'm sure the pup is going to brighten both of your days!

Sharon, ouch!! Nothing worse than having the back act up. Take it easy and rest it.

Hi Gypsy, welcome and just post away!! Lots of support here.

Pink, hope you feel better soon and you'll be in my prayers tonight. So sorry about your pastor leaving when you're so close to her.

Jacquie, the apple thingy sounds pretty tasty. Get in there and fiddle around some more and come up with some tasty snacks!! Did the honey quench the cravings for sweets?

I did good today! I had a muffin for breakfast cuz of course, out there doing deliveries again..lol..and then we went to BK again but I had a salad instead of the burger. I was having a V8 moment (hitting self in head) and wondering why I didnt have it yesterday. It's not a large salad but it hit the spot. I still havent had dinner so have to decide on what to do there. Still need another liter to get down too.
toodles

Well I started off by going into work at 7pm thinking I would be leaving at 3am. So I figured I would just take a bag of the 100 calorie popcorn with me for my meal/snack. Well of coarse it ended up being a defective bag and did not pop! I HATE when that happens!! (made sure to send the company a email and they are now sending me a free box!) So right away I went into a panic of what can I eat now. I did not want to go near the vending machines but knew I had to eat something. I was so relieved when the lady who works the kitchen for our patients who get up through the night was kind enough to let me sneak in and get myself a bowl of grapes. I also had a fiber one bar in my purse so I was quite happy. And I am glad I did because I then ended up not getting out of work until 5am. I am now making a mental note that things come up and I must be prepared for them. I have already stuck a new fiber one bar in my purse so that way I always have at least something in case.

WOW..so many new peeps..and oldies coming back YEAH!!!!!

Yesterday I didnt get to the dr..I rescheduled for Wednesday of next week. I want to see if the GERD meds i am back on are helping..they are some what but not really.

My son wrote a letter to his ex. We will see if she responds. If not..I am taking time to go see a lawyer when I am off next week.

My son ahd an interview yesterday..he said it went good. I hope he gets it.

Good Morning all,

Pink: Hugs to you about your pastor. It will be okay sweetie. Hang in there. I will pray that you feel more secure in the Lord than ever before. My new baby is a labradoodle. 1/2 lab and 1/2 poodle. He is 2nd generation so both of his parents are also labradoodles. We are hoping to get another 2nd generation female and down the road breed them and have 3rd generation. The more generations down the less the possiblity of shedding is. Our old girl, Pepper is 1/2 lab and 1/2 golden. We adore her and that mixture so much. I have asthma though and being my dogs in in the house with me a lot it is better to have non shedding ones.

Jacquie: Great job making yourself something not too diet damaging for a sweet!

Debbie: Thanks for the info on walk it off. Sounds fun. Great job eating right on track.

Erin: Yep, always be prepared. lol.

Cyn: Hugs to you.

Well, I just got out of a nice warm bath tub. I love taking baths. Now I need to start getting ready to go to the Dr. My appointment is at 9 a.m. my time so hopefully it won't be too long of a wait.

Blessings all,
Annie

Annie - labradoodles are cute! Good luck with your new baby!

Cyn - Did your son hear back yet?

I am hanging in. I am terribly, terribly sad, but surviving. Maybe crying burns calories? :)

Debbie - Yeah I think so. The thing is when I say "spoonful" I tend to have that over the course of a day. I literally will put a little bit of raw honey on the tip of a spoon and eat that, the a few more like that. I can't stomach a whole spoonful at once lol. But I did read that in a book I have that if you are craving sweets a bit of raw honey can help. The lady who wrote it said she would eat a spoonful of it and because it is so sweet it would satisfy her. I have to admit I was okay with it, but I needed something crunchy so the little apple crumble thing worked. All i did was pulse about a cup of raw pecans, a cup of raw almonds until they were broken down enough and still crunchy. Then I did use a pinch of salt and agave nectar (which isn't entirely raw), maybe a tablespoon of that. I pulsed briefly to incorporate that. Dumped that out into a bowl, pulsed an apple with cinnamon and nutmeg...mixed it all up. That is all I did and it wasn't the best thing in the world, but it has possibilities. So quick! :D

Cyn - Hope the doc visit goes well, it is today yes? I hope you and your Son get the matter resolved soon. Personally, I think a lawyer is a good move either way. It sounds like the girls family is counting on you not getting legal representation. *HUGS*

Annie - I hope the doc appointment goes well! I hope you start getting those answers!

Pink - *HUGS*

********

Well...TOM has finally visited, so I'm on the first day woo. Finally...I have to say this month was the best in terms of handling cravings and food control. I did have a few treats in terms of hummus or olives, but I didn't go crazy. We'll see how that manages to turn out weight wise.

I'm crampy today, but up and a lot brighter than I have been. I feel like all that hormonal junk is starting to lift now. :D Gotta deal with my insurance company, but I'm putting it off until Monday. I can't deal with it today.

I went to the health food store and got more Turmeric pills. Anyone suffering from HS (hidradenitis suppurativa) or other autoimmune diseases should check that out. The Turmeric has made a difference, it helps things a bit and my skin is better, not perfect, but better. I take two 500mg pills a day. :D No big deal... when I stop taking them I see my flare ups start to get worse. I think diet plays a big roll as well and I hope with continued weight loss things will get better.

I also went to Target and got a new workout thing with resistance bands. I hope that goes well. I did get the medium and not the heavy strength. I figured I'm kind of a newbie with this and since it was only $13, I can easily get the heavy or another brand so I'm not worried about it.

I hope everyone is well. :D *HUGS*

Hi, this is my second day on this site, and I already could cry from the support I've gotten. Y'all Rock! I'm about 310 and need to get to 150. NO, I WILL get to 150. My problem is exercise. I live waaaay out in the sticks, and its cold! What do you girls who don't have exercise equipment do in the winter? I have a wii...but...I'm embarrassed to do in front of my husband. He's a pipeliner, but he's off right now...probly won't go back to work till March. Any ideas???

Dessi, welcome if I haven't said it yet!

I try to welcome everyone. I don't mean to miss people, but sometimes I get a wee bit overwhelmed and forget names.

I heard some people like the Leslie Sansam (sp) dvds. In the winter, I never did verry well with the equipment I had. I've ended up using my Wii more.

Hugs,
Ratkity

Hey everyone, I wanted to just jump in here at the end and tell you all I am joining.
I am a SAHM to 2 kids. A son who is about 4 and a 5 month old daughter. I am breastfeeding currently and plan to for at least another year. Since having my son 4 years ago i have gained 40 pounds on top of my already 330 pound body. When I met my DH I was 300. 70 pounds later for me and about 70 pounds for him here we are. I was never thin but this is getting crazy.
Anyway...just jumping in... trying to learn this forum and to tell you all I am comfortable here in the 300+ group and will start here.
Thanks for having me!

Hey all you new peeps! Check out our exercise thread! We NEED you to join and record the minutes you exercise so we can beat our last year's goal!!

dessi -- I do hear a lot of people mention Leslie Sansone's (sp?) Walk Away the Pounds videos!

i love the walk diet dvd and they really do work if you use them right!!!

I have been here once before (very briefly I might add) but this time I intend to stay. :D No excuses.

You guys are all so inspiring to me.

I am trying to drink more water and track what I eat. I have been making myself pay attention to serving sizes which is something we have never done. Think I did okay today. :carrot: Kinda hard when your choices are limited cuz you can't make it to the store due to snownami (my friends name for this crazy weather we're having).

Welcome back, playfullyme!

kayley- hugs to you hun!! My dad had a stroke 5yrs ago and now has seisures. I will keep him in my prayers. Please take care of yourself..we are here when you need us!

Kayley: HUGS and prayers going your way!!!

WELCOME to all the newbies!!

Today: I am going to work on the doll I am making for my niece. I am suppose to be babysitting her today but not sure when. My tummy is still acting weird ugh! We go see a lawyer next wednesday. My son's ex has not written him back but I know mail takes a bit.

Take care all!!

Kayley :hug: Thoughts and prayers are with your dad.

Well weigh in was today and I am please at the 10lb. loss. My 1st weigh in since being back on track so I know it was mostly water but I will take a great number like that when I can!

Kayley - hugs to you and your family. Like Debbie said - we're here for you - keep us posted as you can.

Good Morning all,

just a few quickies. Welcome to all the new people. So glad that you are here and looking forward to getting to know you better.

Kayely: Hugs to you sweet heart. I will be praying for your family.

Erink: Wowza! Congrats on that -10. Way to go.

I went to my Dr appointment only to be told it is a cardiac Dr. issue and possibly a panic disorder issue which my Dr thinks for a while I need to be on more "calm down immediately" meds. lol. I am going to the heart Dr. on Tuesday just to be sure it is not my heart and if it is my heart then is this what I can expect from now on.

I pretty much stayed low key yesterday and slept on and off. Tomorrow we get to go visit Moose (new puppy) and praying that we get to bring him home. He is eating and drinking on his own, not nursing anymore and he will be 7 weeks old 3 days after our visit on Sunday so, I am praying she lets us bring him home. I really think our family needs him right now more than any other time.

Hope you are all staying warm as I am trying to.

Blessings to you all,
Annie

Thanks for the welcome!

I am so excited to be eating healthy. It's actually been enjoyable to taste my food. Yesterday was a big step for me that I had the actual serving size of the frozen pizza. Never done that before and it was the best it has ever tasted. :)

I'll send positive thoughts your way, Kayley.

I look forward to getting to know you guys.

Welcome Playfully and Oneless and Erin - congratz on the steps you are taking!

Kayley, your family has been thru the ringer. Hugs to you and healing thoughts to Stepdad.

I am slowly moving along and posted my exercise to the ex thread. TOM has made me gain quite a bit this week. I'm hoping if I up my fluid intake it'll go away.

I got my hair cut today and love it. Had 4-5 inches cut off, so it's slightly below my shoulders. It feels really good.

I'm wearing my cpap mask now that my congestion and cold is mostly gone. I've slept about 11 hrs for 3 nights in a row. Today I'm feeling much more energy.

Annie, I'm hoping you get a straight answer from your docs.

Hugs to all,
Ratkity

kayley - *HUGS* Thinking of you...

*****
A quick post today. I've been sleeping way to late, so come tomorrow I gotta start getting back up at a reasonable hour and getting to bed. I think making myself eat dinner at a reasonable hour makes me not "wake up" closer to bedtime, if that makes sense. Small changes.

Weight is down, back down to 265. I'm going to be figuring out my workout routine this week. :D

I hope everyone is hanging in there and doing well. *HUGS*

Mornin' girls!

Jacquie, that apple crumble does sound like its pretty tasty and with lots of possibilities. Yum! I'll have to try it. TOM is here for me too...ick!

Dessi, welcome and I hear ya about being way out in the sticks. There's no gyms that are very close to us either so I just started buying my own equipment. Little bit here and there. I have stretchy bands, DVDS, Wii, a treadmill and still dont use them. My hardest part of this new lifestyle is the exercise too. All I can reccommend is just get up and do it (I should listen to myself). Even if the hubby is there, get him involved. Just do 5 minutes of some kind of movement....build up a little more when you dont feel its hard anymore. Good luck to ya!

Welcome oneless and playfullme! Lots of support here.

Kayley, sending positive vibes and hoping he recovers. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

Cyn, how's the doll coming along?

Erin, :woohoo: on the -10! What a great start.

Annie, well shoot, you need to settle down girl and take care of yourself. No pushing as it seems to have causes the attacks. Hope the visit with Moose went well and he's home with you now.

Ratkity, glad you're feeling so much better and get back to the ol cpap! And all that sleep must make you feel so refreshed. You must of needed it girl!

Made it thru the weekend without any candy, chips, or crud. That's a biggie for me. Jim and I would always think weekends were free for alls on eating after behaving all week. Got to make all these mind changes in order to be successful. Food has gone well, just have to work on portions still. They can get a bit too large at times...more mind changes. I lost 7 lbs so I'm pretty happy even though is more water weight than anything. But I'll take whatever I can lose.
Have a great day ladeis!

RatKitty - :carrot: for the haircut! I need one bad. Glad you are feeling better with the cpap and actually getting sleep too. That's important.

Jacquie - I could have written your post about dinner time! I've been waking up at 9 or later everyday and everything's getting pushed back in the day. Dinner at 8 pm isn't good. I'm workin on it today. Dinner's gonna be done around 5 so it'll be on time today. :carrot:

Debbie - I am doing the small mind changes idea as well. Portions has been a huge problem for me too. I am pretty much still eating (some of) the same foods just not nearly as much. Good job on making it through the weekend!! I did too and it feels good.



I ate pretty well yesterday and was actually a tiny bit under on calories on spark people but it was 10 pm so that would not have been the time to scarf down something substantial. I'm planning it out better today.

I just worked out on the Wii fit for 42 minutes. I couldn't use any of the balance board activities because apparently I weight more than the weight limit today and didn't yesterday. *rolls eyes* Oh well! I made it through and just improvised by doing 42 MINUTES on the running exercise. Even better, I unlocked free run so now I can just go straight to 20 or 30 minutes instead of 3 minute increments. :dancer:


I live with my MIL and she made me really upset yesterday by saying that I can't go from eating what I was eating before to what I've been eating. :mad: How dare she say that I can't! :censored: I'm not doing it blindly, I've been researching how much food I need and what types of foods I need to eat and it just ****** :censored: (you probably know the word) me off to no end.

Just wanted to stop in and say good morning! I just got home from working a long 12 hours and I am in desperate need of sleep. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Happy Monday!

Stop! Go to the new weekly thread #1245