[PinkFlamingo]

I feel a bit guilty even posting this, because I feel like it mkes me seem like a bit of n *******. Especially since I am studying for ministry heheheh. But how many of you are motivated to lose weight because of anger and hurt and frustration over the years? Sometimes men yell rude things at me from cars. I keep thinking I want to see men treating women like that and get real skinny and hot, and go over and flirt with them, and then at th end of the night tell them I won't give them my number because they're too ugly for me. I want to make ugly people feel ugly on the outside too, so they know how much they hurt people, so they know the self-hatred and pain I feel every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror.

I no longer want to give the people who don't know me at all the ability to crush my soul. I don't want to go home after being out late and cry all night about how much I wish I were dead, to curl up on the floor and just beg God to give me the courage to get through another hour. I don't want to hear hurtful comments about my weight and the first feeling I feel to be anger and hatred, not for them, but toward myself.

I am angry. In a way, it feels good to admit it, especially since in a lot of christian circles, anger is a big no-no. I am angry because I know that I have a heart of gold, I know that I am generous and smart and kind, and it's beyond unfair that we are treated as ugly just because of a number on a scale.

Enough.

How do you get over the frustration, the anger, and the general sense of disillusion with the world?

Mostly, how do you get over turning the anger inward and abusing yourself?

[DCHound]

I guess I'm lucky in that, even at my highest weight, any kind of comments from anyone, friend or stranger, were exceedingly rare. On the very rare occasions it happened, I mostly just felt sorry for them because you know something in their life has to be really painful for them to turn that pain onto someone else.

I've certainly been angry at and disappointed in myself before, but not at other people. No one has ever forced me to gain a pound. Therefore, I give no one else any credit when I lose a pound.

It's been said on this board many, many times...motivation is nice and all, but you don't need motivation, positive or negative, to lose weight. You need commitment. Just commit to it then do it. And when negative emotions interfere, counseling can help.

[Ratkitten]

A good friend once told me when referring to any emotion "you can't stay full for very long". Emotions change and are not facts. While they might be good temporary motivators, a solid foundation of wanting to be healthy and eat right is a better way to continue the temporary motivation that extreme emotions can provide.

Being in a state of anger for long periods of time is also not good for your health.

Having said those sage words of advice, I've been where you are right now. I didn't have the benefit of this site and muddled my way through. Hang in there. Hang onto the words of the people here. They know about those feelings of anger. These feelings will pass!

Hugs,
Ratkity

[Jacquie668]

My weight issues come from a different place and yes I will say that anger and sorrow DID jump start me into weight loss. My anger comes from years of abuse, since I was five years old, and other traumatic things, but mostly I felt other feelings like sorrow and such. So, I built a wall of fat around myself to hide myself. I did go within myself, it was the only way at the time I could survive. I mean that literally.

However, after standing up to my abusive step mother and father things started to change for me .I was angry, I was upset, and I did start working on myself, from the inside out. Then in 2008 I started working on my outer self a bit more and that is when the weight loss started. It wasn't anger then, more a desire to live and be happy. I do still get angry at things, but with comments I've gotten from strangers it is more of a hurt. I don't lose weight for them, not at all. In fact I just get hurt because usually it corresponds with something else I'm feeling...I guess I'm unlucky then.

I really and truly feel sorry for the people who are so mean to other people. It makes me more sad than anything. A part of me wants to show them why that isn't good for them, but then the other part of me just thinks they'll get what they deserve, no doubt they will. People like that are usually unhappy themselves is the thing to remember. They pick on other people to make themselves feel better, but one day they'll end up seeing (hopefully) the truth and change. I know my boyfriend used to be mean to others when he was a lot younger. He admitted he used to make fun of women who were fat and he felt bad for making comments. As he grew older he changed and is a wonderful guy, he probably was a wonderful guy then too. Just angry or feeling things himself too.

My point is that I don't think these people are bad people. Life does have a way of teaching lessons, so maybe they'll grow out of it. I will say that the people who have made comments to me or around me were usually young, perhaps in their 20s or even younger. People who stared and were rude to me at my highest weight were older. Now I'm 267 pounds and I don't get the same reaction. I get some looks, but meh, I just smile at them and sometimes they run away from me (odd reaction) or they smile back.

Seriously though, I lose weight for me and I work on myself for me. I want that to be selfish, it is about m e and giving myself a chance. To be honest ,I never had a chance. Since I was five years old my life was crap. It is getting better, but I deserve peace and happiness.

It is good to talk about anger issues though. That is exactly the first step toward healing. *HUGS* I still have a lot of negative feelings within me. Some I'll never "fix" and others I can work on and just understand.