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Old 08-20-2009, 08:18 AM   #61  
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Good morning, all!

Candy, welcome to you--I'm new too. Looking forward to hearing your story.

Heather, I'm so disappointed for you that that ridiculous scale still isn't moving. Have you tried hiding it in a closet for a week? I have this theory that scales don't like to be in dark places and, once taken back out, they're so happy to be in the light that they let you lose at least a pound.

I'm continuously amazed when reading these posts about how much working out is going on here, how many people are using trainers, etc. I think it was on the "More to Love" thread where posters were writing about how much they hate the stereotyping that's going on on that show--"people who are overweight just sit around eating bonbons all day" "fat women are desperate for love and have sad, limited lives." I get angry whenever I see a media portrayal of a person who is obese just wallowing on the couch with a bag of chips. Or, the other night in my TOPS meeting (the one I quit), the husband of one of the members (he hangs out during the meeting because they all go out for pizza or chinese food after the meeting--sort of like going to an AA meeting and having your sponsor take you out for cocktails afterwards), this husband (who is thin and whose wife needs to lose about 30 pounds max) says to me, "If you just walk 20 minutes a day, you'll be surprised how quickly the weight will come off." Really???? Oh, thank god, I found an answer to my lifelong and chronic struggle with obesity!!!!

I'm off to visit my rheumatologist this morning, which always puts me in a crappy mood. I usually spend most of my time in the exam room crying, then try to hold it together long enough to pay my co-pay and schedule the next visit, then once in my car I just drive down the road and sob and blow my nose all the way home. Today I'm going to try to do better--I need to go in with a list of written questions. As the new semester approaches (I've been working part-time for the last 6 weeks), I'm beginning to panic as I think about putting in those 50-60 hour days again, still trying to take care of my crippled body on meds that just aren't working, and trying to stay on my weight-loss/health program. I just don't think I can do it all, which is really hard to admit.

I love my job, I love my crazy/busy life, I don't want to give anything up. At the same time, I'm looking down at my swollen legs full of edema and feeling my back ache and thinking that I'm asking my joints and my heart to carry around an extra 250 pounds--this is insane! I need to take care of me before I keel over and die. Making sure that Billy-Bob's senior thesis has good transitions is NOT as important as making sure that I live to see 50, right?

Hope everyone has a FAB day today. Be your own best invisible dancing carrot!

Tippers in Maine
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Old 08-20-2009, 09:36 AM   #62  
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Morning ladies,

I swear I am going to get caught up on all the chat tonight. I have this thought stuck in my head -

Insanity = doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

I know someone said that and I can't remember who. But it seems to kick me in the face this week.

Val = I need to know more details about this new horse. And how Gabe is doing.

Gotta work now.
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Old 08-20-2009, 11:26 AM   #63  
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Hi all!

Well, here I am Having a pretty stressful day -- I took a big project on because my regular contract was really, really slow, and then EVERYBODY else went on vacation without warning (to me, anyway), and suddenly my regular contract is really, really busy, and here I am with a giant new project sitting in my lap. Agh. The first third of the big project is due tomorrow, and I think they'll have it by Saturday morning (ah, the joys of caffeine!) -- I'll be well over halfway done today -- but I had planned to get it back to them early, so I'm still not feeling good about it.

Other than that, things are pretty normal

I guess, since it's been so long since I've been a regular here, a mini-introduction could be useful, so...

Hi!

I'm coming to you from NoVa, where it's been a very lovely summer, but where even lovely summers are hot and humid. I've been absolutely 100% slipping in my exercise goals but have given myself a pass for the summer, as there's not a lot of movement you can do outdoors and survive. I am still trying to walk a lot to strengthen my left leg, which I broke in rather dramatic fashion on Valentine's Day last year.

Well, more work just came in, so that's all from me for now...
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Old 08-20-2009, 01:14 PM   #64  
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Heather, I bought cookies to have in the house in case I have guests, so I can be a good hostess and have something to offer them, even if it's store-bought (years of Greek mother brainwashing). No one came! So screw this...I'm tossing the lot of them!

Tippers, when some insensitive lout comes along with sage wisdom for me on losing weight, I like to respond with, "Thank you, how kind of you to point that out to me. How sad it must be for you, since there's no exercise that will help cure you of your problem." I've only had to use that once, but it seemed to make me feel better immediately!

I am off to take my mother to Target for some new pants. Then I have to eat lunch with her. I recently started watching Frasier again and strongly identified with the difficult adjustment it was for them when his dad moved in with him. My mother and I are not alike in so many ways. She's digging in her fingernails again, wanting me to be her best friend, telling me that you're supposed to be close with your family members the most (like she is with her siblings, who she's alienated completely with her judgments and sharp tongue?)...there's not enough chocolate in the world!!!!
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Old 08-20-2009, 05:32 PM   #65  
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Tippers -- I hope you mean 50-60 hour WEEKS, rather than DAYS are coming up!! I know what you mean... my summer schedule is part time too. Which gives plenty of time for other things, and means less stress. That's going to change soon, and I'll be right there with you and those long long weeks.

I made a big lifestyle change four Julys ago and started losing weight. I was terrified that everything would go to pot during the term and that I would fall hard off the wagon and never get back on. I was shocked that first year to see that I could, in fact, juggle weight loss and my job. In fact, I lost 100 pounds in 55 weeks, so I stayed on track that whole school year.

What I learned that year -- and what I need to sort of re-learn this year, after 1 1/2 years of gaining -- is that I am most successful when I prioritize healthy eating and exercise along with my job. It's not easy, and involves a lot of planning, but it isn't rocket science or neurosurgery. This really is something I can and should do.

For me, keeping up with weight loss when times are busy and stressful involves regular grocery shopping and bulk cooking on the weekend. Then I can have meals during the week without having to cook, or really to even think. And it costs me only a couple of hours to do that. As for exercise, during the school year, I try to work out 5 days a week. I don't pressure myself for all 7 cause it won't happen. I schedule 1 day a week with my trainer and that goes in the schedule. I also try to put other workouts right there in the schedule. Makes it harder to overschedule myself.

One advantage we academics have is some flexibility in the schedule -- so I can schedule my workouts for 3 pm, and then work again for a few hours after dinner.

I'm actually glad I wrote all that out, because I've been a bit anxious about the school year starting. Last year was stressful. I'm busier at work than ever before, and I gained a bunch of weight back. This year will be even more insane and I need to give myself a plan of action. I think I just did!
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Old 08-20-2009, 05:33 PM   #66  
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Georgia -- Way to go ditching those cookies!!!
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Old 08-20-2009, 06:01 PM   #67  
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Heather--hurrah for a plan!

Georgia--kick those cookies to the curb!

*waving* at Terri and Walrus...

I ate some pasta for lunch today and followed it with some tortilla chips, sort of a post-rheumatology crying-jag carb fest, the first real carbs I've eaten in weeks, and now I've got awesome acid reflux. I think dinner will be a little bit of celery and a cup of tea.

No stories or rambling this evening for me--I'm pooped! Hope you all had a great day/have a great night.

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Old 08-20-2009, 09:48 PM   #68  
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Terri – great to see you. Hope things are settling down for you. What’s our challenge for next week? I love your challenges.

Candy – welcome! I look forward to getting to know you – great support here in ways no one else can understand – been there – doing that! Keep posting!

Let’s try – sounds like a rant was in order. How are you today?

Heather – I agree – I love all this positive energy. Your planning post hit home – I’m already thinking of soup and it’s still August. I may even make a couple of pots this weekend and get froze. It’s a great lunch or quick dinner for me, not to mention filling and healthy.

Georgia – I recently thought I had the peanut butter demon tamed but I learned the hard way. Can’t be in the house. And when it shouts at me from the back of the top shelf the noise is deafening. Also it’s very convincing about what a good choice it is over other things. Would your guests think less of you if you didn’t have cookies? I know you always have a nice cuppa to offer them.

Tippers – I think the reason I mention my trainer is it is still very foreign to me. Exercise and I are not comfortable to each other even though for nearly 18 months I have been mostly faithful to an exercise regime. It is a reminder to myself – I do love it once I can force myself to go. Tonight I picked up an extra water class – after last nights core workout I’m thinking I will be feeling it tomorrow.

Walrus – I remember your leg break – wasn’t it right before a vacation? Is it fully healed and strong now?

Busy and full day today. I’m ready for my weekend. I’m really going to have to push to meet my unpublished exercise goal of 1500 minutes this month (think it just became published). DH will be out of town all weekend – a good time to get completely organized – NO EXCUSES – BEST CHOICES.
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Old 08-20-2009, 10:10 PM   #69  
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Carol -- I sometimes feel exercise is still foreign to me after 3 1/2 years! The exercise thread got started because I was setting exercise goals cause I hate to exercise, and Val convinced me to take it public.

I still struggle to get the exercise in and can find lots of excuses not to do it. I do know that I feel a lot better following the exercise, and that is one of the many reasons I commit to it (and why I set those minute goals. It forces me to commit).
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Old 08-20-2009, 10:42 PM   #70  
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Hi ladies,

I though I'd stop by and do some personal replies.

Oh, I've had a really mental day that I've blogged. A link to my blog is under my avatar if anyone cares to read it. I'm going through some stuff since I turned 49. A mini mid-life crisis perhaps. I think its mainly about where I want to go and how to make changes so the past is past.

Tipper - Sorry to see that you've had a rough day. Hope you're feeling more settled now. Gosh, you're having to deal with some tough physical issues. I had to chuckle about the 50-60 hour days too. I bet some days really feel like that. I'm been facing some of that "can't do it all" feelings this summer. Its very hard to work through everything when it gets too overwhelming. Decide what's the highest priorities and what can wait for another day. You deserve for health and exercise to be #1. My mom always told me that I would get worms from eating the cake batter or cookie dough because of the raw eggs.

Heather - Yep, a plan of action is required for success. Actually, its working that plan that is required too! I will try to remember to start new threads on Sunday afternoons. I had to laugh about UR comment about the emails U receive. That drives me nuts when grown people write things like that. (Just a personal thing so I'm not trying to insult anyone).

Georgia - Good deal for throwing out those cookies. You need a big for having to deal so closely with your mom. I looked you up on FB; hopefully I sent a friend request to the right person. I've heard from several doctors that the AHA says that it takes 60 minutes of cardio "most" days a week in order to lose weight. Actually, the last I heard was 90 minutes. It seems daunting but it can be done if done in two or more sessons. (note that to self). Sorry to see about the binge and your frustration with the ex and your son. I've long thought that I've had ADD; my mind is all over the place and while I learn very quickly; I have to really work at it because of not being able to concentrate. I'm very easily bored too. Sucks to be like that still at 49.

Walrus - I have to ask - do you have a first name other than Walrus? I feel funny calling you that. How did you do on all that work? Can you do swimming for your leg?

Debi - Ick, Ick, Ick on the raw okra. DH tries to make me eat peaches with the fuzz on. Mom never EVER had us eat peaches with the fuzz.

Val - It was so good to see your posts. I miss you and hearing about the horse stuff. How are you doing back on SB? You can't drop in and tell me that you bought another horse and then disappear again!

Letstry - Great, great post! See my comments to Georgia about the 60 minutes of exercise. It is very daunting and seems very impossible. However, I do see their point about not taking days off. It does require working up to that level but it can be done.

Carol - I have been enjoying some beautiful hearty hibiscus! Dang, that thing has done very well. The black-eyed susans are beautiful too. How's the logging going? I usually do good about tracking foods until about Thursday and then forget what I'm doing. I'm working at it this week to really put effort into my journalling. I'm working on more than just foods - really trying to channel the mental side of it all too. We had the parmesan tilapia from Sam's tonight. Love it!

Okay, I am getting bleary-eyed so I better get this posted. I hope I have touched on everyone and my apologies if I missed anything. to all!

Last edited by Terri in MO; 08-20-2009 at 10:45 PM.
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Old 08-21-2009, 12:01 AM   #71  
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Hi Terri: You could call me Goo Goo Ga Joob I do swim, but mostly I need to get my broken leg used to moving again -- I basically walk mostly on my right leg, which makes walking harder for me than it should be...but my left leg is pretty good at faking it! It took my therapist 2 months of PT to notice!

Carol: Yup -- what a memory! I broke it in mid-Feb in the middle of getting ready to go on vacation to Scotland -- totally sucky timing! It's better, but it's still weaker than the other leg...I have a new trainer now, though, who has two programs for me -- one for me, and one for the left leg -- certainly better than the guy who, when I told him I'd broken my leg and wouldn't be training with him for a while, told me that I should just get on the bike with it in the cast!

I'm still working on the giant project -- of course -- but I did manage to get all of my contract work done today -- some of it even early!
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Old 08-21-2009, 12:17 AM   #72  
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Terri, so far, I don't see anything from you on Facebook, so maybe you friended the wrong person. I have my security level up pretty high, and there are several named Georgia Lewis. Look for the one who is a fan of Craig Ferguson. How can I find you? And thanks for sharing your blog link. I look forward to reading it and catching up on you!

Walrus, I hope your day ended up far less stressful than your level of anticipation for it. And if it didn't, I hope you get a good night's sleep!

I've been analyzing my cookie binge a little more, because once the cookies demons were exorcised, they were replaced with other foods. I still kept it under 2000 calories, however. I'm just angry, there's more anger over divorce stuff bubbling up. I hate it when I send updates about the boys to their father and he doesn't respond. I'm angry that he's not contacting the boys at all. I feel trapped because I want to ask them how they're doing about that, but I don't want to place ideas and anxieties in their heads. I'm angry because I caught my 17-year-old parenting my 11-year-old and he shouldn't have to do that. I'm angry that my 11-year-old thinks its okay to pout and close himself off in his room when he doesn't get his way. I'm angry that my mother interprets our not eating her food as us not loving her and being mad at her, but she doesn't hear us when we succinctly tell her why she's being...difficult. I'm angry with the ex for sooooooooooo many reasons and I wish I could scour him out of my brain. I don't even know how to refer to him...perhaps The Dark Ages (which is why I'm The Renaissance Woman), but I can't refer to him that way with the boys. Today I'm fearful that they'll turn out like him, because it seems all his brothers turned out like him, to one degree or another and they were brought up in a solid, traditional home with good parents. Are all men inclined to be so depraved?

I know that's a lot that I just wrote. It's the verbalized form of my state of mind this week. Because you're all such wonderful women, I can anticipate that you're inclined to offer answers to my questions and consciliatory hugs. I really don't require that. Life is just life and there are no hard and fast answers. I really just needed to get it all out in a safe place so I can stop eating to manage all the strong emotions. I'm actually feeling a bit better now, and the siren song of the peanut butter sandwich is waning. I really only want a tall glass of water.

Looking forward, my dearest friend is arriving tomorrow evening and together we're going to torture the boys over the weekend. After she leaves, another friend is coming over, with her very cute 16-year-old niece and we're going to see Green Day and Franz Ferdinand on Monday night in Sacramento. Despite my advanced years and the fact that I'm a rocker at heart, this will be my very first rock concert. What do I wear? (Feel free to answer that question!)

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Old 08-21-2009, 08:02 AM   #73  
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Georgia - I can't help myself. But after reading your post, I had to respond. I have only two words to say about all that you are dealing with - "Let go". Okay, now more words. Really work on accepting people for who they are as they are not going to change. The anger probably comes from not being able to control the situation or people responding in ways that you want them to respond. So just let go of that.

On that note, I think that is our challenge for next week. "Letting Go".
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Old 08-21-2009, 08:31 AM   #74  
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Terri - can we make the challenge two parts?

Letting Go (yes, I have some baggage to let go of)
AND
Let's Go (exercise)

Maybe LET'S GO will help us let go.

More later - coffee calls.

Have a great day each of you wonderful women!
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Old 08-21-2009, 09:03 AM   #75  
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I have to give Georgia a anyway!

One thing I have learned in this process is exactly what Carol said -- Let's go for letting go. Exercise really does help me cope with stress!! The problem is realizing that while under stress and not wanting to exercise. It's hard to put on the shoes and make myself go! I often grumble and whine "I don't WANNA work out" is my mantra. But I can say that all I want while lacing up my shoes, as long as I do go work out!!

to all of you! Have a great Friday!
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