Okay, I have lost a little over 50 lbs. Yay me! Well, people have started to notice. More specifically, women have started to notice. I didn't think too much about this. I don't understand men, for all I know they just don't notice stuff the way women do. I didn't give it too much thought. I have just come back from spending two months at my parents house and throughout the course of the visit various friends of the family and relatives would come by. The women all said something, only one uncle and my father said anything. Later when my mother and I were talking she would tell me something like "Your Uncle Mike just couldn't get over how much weight you've lost". Well, Uncle Mike never said a word to me!
This happened several times and I asked my mother why they haven't said anything. She says it is probably becuase they have never been critical about my weight (which is true) and they most likely didn't want to hurt my feelings by bringing up at all. When I got back to town a friend of mine came over (a female friend) and she complimented me and then asked "Does it bother you that people are saying it has made such a big difference?"
Quite frankly I don't understand that question. Why would it bother me? Getting healthier is a big motivation, but having people notice is pretty high on the list. I don't wanna loose all this weight only to realize that no one ever paid enough attention to me to notice when I loose a bunch of weight. I want people to notice. Heck, I want them to be awed. I'm not saying I need to be the center of attention or anything, but I do find it rather odd that some people believe it would be an insult.
My sister FLIPS OUT when people comment on her weight - even if it's in a good way. She once spent 25 minutes yelling at my dad's friend/coworker for mentioning that she looked like she lost weight. And she was a right B!TCH about it too.
I'm assuming it's because she wants to think that people don't notice that she could lose a few lbs, and by noticing that she's LOST some, it means they noticed it was there to lose in the first place and she's embarrassed by that - which explains the b!tchiness, and why men might be a little more apprehensive about commenting.
But!!! Great job on the weight loss! It's sooo nice when people notice the change
I agree...I think when I do start losing, there are few men I know that will comment. Currently it's as if they pretend I'm not fat at all...which is pretty unbelievable...but they just don't have the body issues we do (for the most part). Maybe it's just a topic they choose to stay away from, since they think we're all crazy!
From what I have been told by 5 brothers, a husband and multiple male friends males (at least the ones I know) are usually hesitant to say anything about weight to a female, especially one they are unsure of a reaction from.
Their creed seems to be it is better to say nothing because then you don't have to take anything back.
Even my husband, bless him, has never said -anything- about my weight - good or bad - until recently. And everything he has said recently has been complimentary without attacking the size/shape I used to be. He told me this morning he was very proud of me as he was walking out the door and I just about cried from joy.
As for the question your friend asked, while you (and I) appreciate that others are noticing our efforts, some people prefer to avoid the topic. That is their perogative. No, you aren't odd, but neither are they.
What this reminds me of a little is when I showed somebody a picture of me when I was a college girl - many moons ago !!
What did she say ??
You LOOKED great. I know she meant no harm, but it sounds very much like she meant I look like c**p now.
What hurts/offends one person, is a joke to another person.
Congrats on your success
I imagine few guys would comment on a womans weight, because it seems like dangerous territory. Some women just dont take well to it, and males who dont understand the hang-ups women can have on weight, might not understand how to phrase things or what to comment on.
Personally, Im not sure how many people I would want commenting on my weight loss. On one hand, I would want the people closest to me to say something. But others, Im not sure if I would want comments from. I wouldnt get offended, but I might feel uncomfortable. Im very private and reserved, and my body and self-image are sensitive topics for me. So while I know that people can obviously see me and what I look like, someone commenting on my weight loss would indicate that people are paying attention to how I look and Im not always ready for that or comfortable with it. And now that I am thinking about this topic, I also wonder if I would suddenly begin to feel some pressure knowing that people are noticing my weight loss. Like I HAVE TO keep losing weight and I cant fall off-track or gain any back, and that would be stressful - something I do not want. I hope this sheds some light
Last edited by beautifulone; 07-24-2008 at 01:50 AM.
I wouldnt worry, some people are just aware that personal comments can sometimes be hurtful for different reasons, even when they come with good intentions.
Your brilliant weight loss has been noticed, so enjoy it!
Congrats on your accomplishment! I didn't get any comments until well after 50 pounds lost - and then I only wanted one comment - just so I knew someone noticed - it didn't matter who. I do not like attention drawn to me because of my weight loss. I'm doing it for me. As Snapless mentioned I do melt when my hubby says something - he's been at the battle front with me - through the tears and fears. He never said anything before and the way he explains it - if I say how great you look it means I thought you didn't look great before - and I've always thought you looked great.
My question is - do you feel the weight loss, are your clothes fitting different, do you have more energy, is your skin clearer, can you move easier? Those are the wonderful things I have gained, along with a new outlook, in this journey.
My boss, who is a woman, commented many times when I first lost a lot of weight and she always preceded her comments with "I hope this doesn't offend you." Like "I hope this doesn't offend you, but you have really lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" Or, "I hope this doesn't offend you, but I can't get over how much weight you've lost. You look so good!"
I always wondered why on earth a compliment would be offensive. But I figure it's the whole "never comment on a person's physique at the office" thing.
Congrats on 50 lbs!!! Great job! :] I have noticed the same thing. When I lose some weight my friends, aunts, cousins, and mom will all notice and compliment me. On the other hand my dad will notice and tell my mom. It doesn't really bother me though. I love it when people notice....it makes me feel really good!
What this reminds me of a little is when I showed somebody a picture of me when I was a college girl - many moons ago !!
What did she say ??
You LOOKED great. I know she meant no harm, but it sounds very much like she meant I look like c**p now.
What hurts/offends one person, is a joke to another person.
Congrats on your success
That happened to me too. My DH has a picture of me when I was Sr. In HS. well that is the time where I had lost a bunch of weight and yes I looked good. Well he had my picture on his desk at work (at a previous job) a coworker of his came by to talk to him and saw it and asked if that was me and he said, "Wow she WAS hot!" So ya I know what ya mean.
But at the same time, when I had lost all that weight in HS, EVERYBODY would come up to me, even the popular girls at school and tell me how great I looked!!! I never ever got offended because I knew how hard I had worked to get there and all the compliments felt wonderful!
About men not noticing, actually in my case, lots of men noticed and commented, even all my uncles, cousins, everybody. I guess it just depends on the people involved.........My family is very um open about their opinions. lol.
Why on Earth would this offend me???
I'm not saying I need to be the center of attention or anything, but I do find it rather odd that some people believe it would be an insult.
on your weight loss!
I know What Ya mean!
