I feel like i have tried to lose weight at least 30 times..there always seems to be something to make me go back to my old eating habits.. i have never been a depressed person, but this year has really been the pits... stop reading now if you dont wanna get depressed lol... it started out with my daughter losing custody of my grandchildren.. they are now wards of the state.. i cant take them as i live in england and they say they cant release them to me because of that...this happened the beginning of 2007.. then about april my mother developed a blister inside her lung that burst and air was going into her body.. they said it would be fatal and to fly home.. i did, and thank God her lung mended itself.. then in oct she discovered a lump on her left breast.. within two weeks it was the size of an orange and malignant.. they did a radical mastectomy on her which was very worrying as she had had a hernia for months they wouldnt operate on as they didnt think she would make it thru surgery.. they did both at the same time and again, thank God, she made it thru...
My husband is english and i thank God for him daily.. he is the Bright spot in my life.. without him i dont think i could have made it thru this year...we are saving to move to the states but it will be at least another two years... in the meantime we are staying with his parents which works out great in one aspect.. we dont have to pay anything to stay here.. in fact they wont take money from us, so that makes saving so much easier.. on the flip side tho, as much as i love and appreciate them, this house is making me nuts... they have lived here 35 years, and i dont think they have EVER cleaned it.. i cant stand to go into the kitchen to cook or even get some coffee.. i tried to clean the kitchen when i first got here, but was told i couldnt throw anything out.. they may Need it.. the floor is black.. the stove has a layer of grease and who knows what else on top at least 1 inch thick.. the walls have smoke stains on them.. i smoke as well, but have always cleaned my walls... when you go downstairs, you have to be careful not to trip on boards and crap that is all over the landing.. supposedly its to remodle the bathroom.. thatll never happen... the mail gets delivered thru a hole in the front door.. and i think every piece of junk mail they have ever received is laying in the foyer.. you have to be careful not to slip on it.. i have literally tripped going out the door..on top of all that , the food here is hard to get used to.. at home i buy things like diet jello, non fat cool whip for the occaisional sweet tooth.. i have no idea what to buy here.. im sure they have an equivalent but ill be danged if i know what it is lol.. i havent seen crystal light or anything like it either..i just feel stuck.. we cant afford to live on our own here and still save to move back to the states... we dont have enough to move back to the states as of yet... and between the house and probs from home, my soda and occasional american cookie seem to be the only thngs other than my husband to put a smile on my face lol..
I am going to start again tomoz on eating healthier and losing this weight... bought loads of bottled water today... i really want to lose this weight so when i go back to the states im a healthier version of who left .... i have never been a quitter... and it makes me mad i have let all this stuff interfere with what i know is right.. sorry for the depressing post, i just needed to vent... wish me luck everyone, and if anyone out there needs an ear, im here...

Wow, that would be very hard to deal with, to say the least, you have had a very rough year, and I am very sorry to hear about all the complications with your daughter and your mom! I wish you the very best of luck, you CAN do this, and you and your family will be in my thoughts!!!

On a lighter note, have you ever seen that show "How clean is your house?" With the two british gals??? Very funny, but it seems ur in laws might be canidates for the show LOL

i have seen the show but would die of mortification if ANYONE came in here, and it isnt even my house lmao... one thing i will say, is it isnt dirty per se.. just crap lyin all lover... the kitchen is the really only 'dirty' room .. figures lol... i have decided i will persever, i will make it... and when i do finally get into my own place again i will prob be a clean fanatic lol... thanks for replyin so soon.. i know with help from all of you.. and the inner strength i know i have somewhere, i will make it)

one good thing, is the upstairs where hubby and i 'live' is clean.. so as long as i stay up here, its all good lol

i love that show! the ladies are awesome and i love their fancy gloves!

remydey, I am sorry about your mother and your daughter. No matter how often you've attempted weight loss, u haven't failed till u give up.

Hi Remydey -- I really feel for you going through so much at one time, and you feel like they are things you really have no control over. At least your Mom is doing better, and hopefully there will be caring foster parents to fill in until your daughter gets on her feet. As for your living situation - bless you child! I can only imagine how hard it is; they are doing so much for you, and you feel like you can't make suggestions probably w/o hurting their feelings. Would your mum-in law notice if you very sneakily cleaned a little as you go? i.e. ..offer to cook dinner or lunch one day, clean a little as you go along? Usually people who've let things go so long are just so used to it - and afraid it's too insurmountable to change - that they don't even bother. Maybe taking baby steps with the cleaning/clutter will be accepted? I don't know the answer to the lack of special foods in UK - I'm not familiar with them but - you might just have to make your own sweet treats, i.e. low-fat cookies/cakes, or opt for nuts and dried fruits. MOst of all - keep your chin up!! You haven't given up, and you do have people who love you. Those are things that no one can take from you!!

Remydey...

Sorry to hear about you being "stuck" over seas. Just keep your "bright spot" close to you he will help you through this. I was raised by my grandparents and although the house was clean..they saved everything. I use to tell my grandma it takes you so long to clean cause you ahve to sort through all the crap to get there. BUT she as well might "need it" so it stayed.

You may have tried 30 times..make this the 31st time and keep going!!

Thank you all for the support and kind words.. it really does help...
as for doing a lil at a time, that is easier said than done... last june a friend of mine from america was over.. we tackled the kitchen but as we were in there trying to clean it up to at least a semi healthy level, my father in law came in and said.. dont throw that away.. that either.. one of the items was a baby bottle( hasnt been a baby in this house for 30 years lol) filled halfway up with some liquid that i dont even wanna guess about.. the outside of the bottle was covered in probably about 10 years worth of dust .. that's when i pretty much gave up even trying with the downstairs..
i keep our bdrm clean, and the computer room both which are upstairs and only hubby and i use..
youre right about not wanting to say anything to mother in law about it.. she is sooo good to me and i would never dream of hurting her feelings...my husband did try to warn me before we got over here, but you can never be prepared for this house lol... thank God my hubby isnt like that.. i would have to hurt him lol.. he is clean like i am
As for my husband, he is the most loving, supportive, kind, considerate, caring man i have ever met, and i know God sent him to me 5 years ago because he knew all heck was gonna break loose in my life and gave me Ian as an anchor
thank you so much for the wonderful replys and heartfelt words of encouragement.. you guys are awesome, and im so glad i found this forum.. i hope to get to know loads of you better and hopefully i will be able to offer encouragement when it is needed like you have done

Remydey, I hope the 30th time is the charm, because I'm in the same boat.

My heart goes out to you for all that you've been through, and are going through. It doubles the burden on restarting -- but it could also be that this is the one thing in your life that you CAN control. I hope it goes well.

It sounds like you have some major obstacles in your life. It can be hard enough to make changes when you are in full control of what you are eating. Figuring out ways to make small changes and also watch your portions will probably be key. Also finding some type of exercise. At least it sounds like you won't have any trouble wanting to get out of the house! Please feel free to post on the main thread and join in (and don't worry about doing personals).

Thank you for all the encouragement, kind words, and ideas... it helps more than you could know..
one thing i may try for when i have a crazy sweet tooth TOM or so, is make something familiar from home, but use splenda instead of sugar.. even one peanut butter cookie (splenda) would be enough to satisfy.. thank you for the help on the Brit foods... one thing i may have to do is show my american butt and gt on asda's case about importing low cal/ low fat products.. wal-mart in the states owns asda so they need to get their heads out lol...crystal light at least lol..
thanks again for the encouragement and kind words..