I'm not feeling like a fraud and a failure now, but I have in the past, mostly as a result of my career activities not matching up with my personal habits.

-Back in the 80s, I got a part-time job as a receptionist for the Optifast program at the local hospital. During the interview, the doctor looked at me and made a comment that he could see I didn't have a weight problem, but that I would need to be sensitive to the patients and their struggles. After that and every time I went to work, I felt like the biggest fraud, because I was a walking eating disorder. Every minute of my day was spent obsessing about food, eating, starving, bingeing, etc.

-I used to work in public health. I have been involved in developing programs for chronic conditions such as diabetes, congestive heart failure, etc. that included guidelines, encouragement, and measurement of diet and exercise changes....practices that I was definitely not following myself. Sometimes I would sit in on the group sessions, and I felt that I was a detraction from the work the physicians and nurses were doing with the patients in the sessions.

I've done a lot of other work in public health, and felt like a terrible representative no matter what I was doing.

-Now, in my work as a personal financial consultant, I give a lot of advice and coaching on managing personal finances that sound exactly like the advice here about making implementing changes in eating and exercising. For example, progress, not perfection is an oft-used mantra. I started to feel like a complete fraud, and wondered if my clients were not thinking the same I had been thinking: why am I not taking my own advice when it comes to my physical health? Also, I am sure that I have missed out on business because I don't look as credible as someone else who has their weight under control. If I can't manage my health, how can I be an expert at applying the same principles to managing money?

I don't feel this way anymore, but asking myself why I wasn't taking my own advice was one of the reasons I finally became ready to lose weight.

Kaplods - thank you SO much for posting about TBL. I have wondered what was up with that because it isn't physically possible to lose 30 pounds in a week! It gives this appearance that if people would just do a little exercise they could be dropping the weight and we all know losing is a whole lot of work.

You know, I spent a lot of valuable office time on the internet today, trying to find more about the actual time at the ranch and time between WI on TBL and I found NOTHING. In fact, Doctor Jeff from season 2, who was one of the top three - his own website says three months!

Originally Posted by :
Levine has lost a total of 183 pounds: 30 before the show started, 103 while on the ranch in Simi Valley and 50 since he’s come home. His time commitment to the show was extended to 13 weeks — one sequestered in the hotel and 12 on the ranch.

103 lbs in 12 weeks it says - that's more than 8 1/2 lbs a week!

It really makes me angry if they are hiding that stuff....

Sorry for the detour from the thread Heather!

Lilion-- That's okay!

kaplods - Thanks for the info on TBL. I am actually glad to hear this. I really enjoy watching the show but have always thought the weight loss was ridiculously, unhealthily fast!

Im glad this thread was started. I havent logged onto 3FC in 2 mos. exactly. I fell off my plan completely I am thankful that I only gained 3lbs. since I havent been eating properly or working out.

I am always feeling like a fraud, like everyone is constantly juding me by my weight. sometimes I find that I avoid certain situations becuase of this feeling.

Im tired of feeling bad emotionally and physically. Im tired of people assuming I sit around all day long and gorge myself!

This time I feel that I have the right mindset to succeed. I have started working out again, eating right is coming along better.

Welcome Back!!!!!!

You're so right about that feeling of failure keeping people away and preventing them from posting - in my case that's true, anyway. I know that other people have set-backs and disappointments, and I never mind them posting their challenges. I WANT them to post, to encourage them, and it helps me to know that I'm not alone.

But when I'm off track, especially this past 9 months or so, I feel stupid showing up and saying "Day three..." "Day three again..." "OK, back to Day one again..." "Here goes another day one..." It's been just a continual cycle of brief periods of enthusiasm and than another crash. When I'm up, I feel unstoppable. When I'm not on my game, I feel guilty, like I'm letting myself down, friends here down, and like I'm just wasting people's time.

I've discovered two things, tho. First, when I don't come here, or at least think about coming here and sharing, I do worse. I backslide more. I feel more alone and more defeated. There's no one else who truly understands the struggle or the victories. And in truth, it's also a way of avoiding being held accountable, so I can continue to backslide.

Second, NO one here that I've ever seen has EVER critisized or belittled someone else who was struggling. Everyone here understands the challange and the extremely long distance of this life-long goal. I've never seen anyone post that I thought was a failure or a fraud, so why would I not cut myself the same slack?

The other night I went to the Lippizanner Stallion show, and watched riders do things that I have only dreamt of. Then I thought of my wings, my belly, all this extra weight and thought for a while that I'd never be able to ride like that. Maybe I never will, but it won't be because I can't, it will be because I just don't. There's still time. But for a while I felt defeated and lost. I simply won't surrender to that. Not today anyway, and today is what matters.

Originally Posted by NoLifeWithoutHorses:
Second, NO one here that I've ever seen has EVER critisized or belittled someone else who was struggling. Everyone here understands the challange and the extremely long distance of this life-long goal. I've never seen anyone post that I thought was a failure or a fraud, so why would I not cut myself the same slack?

I thought this was worth repeating!!!! :)

Maybe sometimes we should try to view ourselves and talk to ourselves as we would view and talk to others... KWIM?

What a great topic!! I don't know if yall remember me..lol..I use to come to this group alot! Looks like the last time I was here was in April! GOOD GRIEF!! Alot happened in my life since then..lost my house...moved out od state that didnt work...moved back..and finally feel settled again. It is true what Heather said...Its like I start exercising and I dont notice much loss so I just stop..why is that??? I am 34..345 lbs (guessing here)..and I am on meds for my tyroid..still have the swollen foot still have menstral problems...all the while I have a hubby that will do anything for me if I asked..like walking eating healthy..YET I slip back into the routine of nothing. I think maybe I set my goals to high??? The weather is getting cooler in Arizona..I want to join the October thread...I hope I can get back into it and not give up!..thanks for listening to me babble.

WELCOME BACK CYN!! We need all the help on the exercise thread!

Maybe you are setting your goals too high, I don't know. I think one of the hardest things is getting back up after a fall!

I want to thank everyone for posting his or her thoughts about this topic. I'm in a bit of a slump at the moment. I've done pretty well, averaging a loss of 2.5 pounds a week since early July. Recently, I've become a slave to the scale. Checking almost everyday to see if I've gone down just a bit, ounces. It's horrible when I've gone up. I feel so defeated.

I've not gone on any binges, but I have given in to soda more than once. I'm so hard on myself when I slip. I come here to 3FC and all of your posts and blogs help to remind me that I'm doing ok, everyone goes through some tough patches and I'll eventually get to goal if I don't give in. I'm determined not to start over; each day is a new day!

Normally I would relate a lot more to this current thread... Luckily though I have a mostly positive vibe going on at the moment, but I have felt like a failure big time in the past.

I've lost 40-50 pounds at least 4 or 5 times over the last 7 or so years. Sometimes the evil voice in the back of my head says what makes you think this time will really be different, because it's not like I didn't know what I was doing before... but each time I gained some perspective that I think it takes to make it happen for life. I'm secretly scared that something will happen to reverse current momentum too but I just can't let thinking like that surface and take control.

June-October of last year I lost about 43lbs. Then Nov-April I gained EVERY LAST POUND back. I can't tell you how awful I felt... I try not and look back on where I would have been today as I JUST finished re losing that weight and I'm headed into new territory now... The important part is that I found my way back and I plan on fighting tooth and nail if I fall again.

I don't think I've felt like a fraud anytime recently just a big old failure, but I'm NOT anymore. I refuse.

Wow . . . this is a fantastic thread. Hope you don't mind if I stick my nose in here? So much of what you've all said rings so true to me too. I too tend to forget about the 45 pounds I lost last year and dwell only on the agonizingly slow loss of only 12 so far in 2007. I guess that's human nature.

But I really feel guilty because I'm a Moderator and should be able to set this wonderful example for everybody. I particularly feel terrible when I do something stupid and really screw up my blood sugar for a couple of days as well as my eating for weight-loss patterns. After all, I'm in the Diabetes Support Forum several times a day, trying to encourage everybody to do their darndest to keep things on an even keel, and then I can turn around and eat ice cream or something else I know is bad for me. Makes me feel just plain stupid.

Anyway thank you all for the inspiration you have provided for me. I know if I didn't have 3FC and all the wonderful members I bump into on this great site, I would have once again thrown in the towel by now.

Yay for all of us . . . we are strong and we are wise and we can succeed. :yes: