Nancy -- What about when you brush your teeth or something like that? Put the vitamins right next to the toothbrush??

*sheepishly crawls back in with her tail between her legs*

hi ladies

i know its been forever since ive been here. i have managed to make a complete humliating wreck of my life, and havent felt much like dealing with any of it.

i am making the effort to get things back on track, starting with my diet. and coming back here.

i have started with a clinical trial here for a weight loss drug about 2 weeks ago. i weigh in tomorrow. its a double blind test, so the research company and i do not know if i have a placebo or a real drug - at any rate, it makes me go to the bathroom. lol

i hope everyone is doing well. i am not. but im getting better.

*hugs*
Luan

Hi everyone--

I'm with Luan and sheepishly crawling back with my tail between my legs. I've gained about 10-15 lbs. back--oh--that's the weight I put in my tracker the last time I was here--and I'm not very pleased. I'm coming back here and hoping that I'll be able to get back on plan. I'm actually looking into a new low-carb plan called ******* at www.*******.com --have any of you heard about it?

Also--guess what? I know that I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I'm going to have a tummy tuck on September 6th. I'm going to be losing my "pouch". The doctor has a very good reputation and he was actually very encouraging. He said to me that he can only pinch about this much in my stomach--(meaning over my belly flap ) he held his fingers out about 3 inches. He said that I would only be able to lose about half of that myself. He also said that he was impressed because my back wasn't as fat as he was expecting. Many people who are really obese like me have bulges on their backs and at the top of their butt and I don't have that. I still have some fat on my back--but nothing that I wouldn't be able to lose myself after the operation. He said that other people who have had this operation found it easier to lose weight in the other areas of their bodies as well so I am crossing my fingers and I cannot wait. I'm still doing okay--but I don't feel like I'm doing great you know? I'm going to be taking some pictures for before the surgery and after the surgery shots which I'll post.

I just want to say hi to everyone who I know and I hate to say it, but I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's crawling back. I'll talk to you all soon.

Vicki

Luan and Vicki -- and welcome back! I think this is THE place to come when you've fallen off track! Where else will you find others who have gone (and are going) through similar situations!

heather. i just have to say you look AMAZING

Thanks, sweetie!!!

Hi everyone -

I can't believe it has been a week since I posted last. DS was quite sick...we went to the doc on Tuesday and were told it was a virus, nothing can be done except fluids and pain reliever. Call again if the fever hasn't gone by Friday. It wasn't. Back to the doc on Friday - long story short, we spent almost two hours in the office doing nebulizer treatments just so they could hear his lungs and try to figure it out. We got an antibiotic and inhaler prescribed for him and after just one dose of the antibiotic on Friday night, he woke Saturday just like the kid I know! It took until Sunday for the fever to finally break but at least he was acting more like himself on Saturday. Catherine - thanks for asking about him on the last thread. You are right - hunger and fatigue are similar. I did not eat well last week and I did not sleep well either - up to check on him every couple of hours. All in all I do not think the damage was great and I am back op and back to exercising today. My poor kids have really had one rough summer!

Also - a very late thank you which I forgot to post last time I was here - to Battle and Meta for explaining intuitive eating.

I breezed through last week's thread....I'll try to post what I can remember:

Jilly - it's good to "see" you again. I missed you! Congrats on the house!

Annie - As usual, you inspire me greatly! I know you said you were going to a cardiologist soon (if you haven't already!)...hope all goes smoothly and you can move forward with your surgery.

Ammi - You write fantastic posts and personals! I enjoy reading what you write.

Nancy, Wyllenn, Brenda, Donna, Sharon, Xena, Misti, John, Ratkitty - hello! And to those I missed I apologize. Welcome to the newbies (and those who are returning since my joining, too!)

Hope you all are having a great op day!

Cris

Hello Ladies!

Things have been pretty much the same around here. Work is busy and still stressful, but coming along for the most part. I still am not sure if it's something I want to stick with longterm or find something else asap. Some personal finance issues going on that are stressing me out big time. I'm such a worrier anyway, so the least little thing kicks my stress-emotions into overdrive! I hate having that feeling of being sick to my stomach over worry and anxiety - I wish I could be someone who deals with these sort of emotions better.

Anyway, enough about that. I haven't weighed myself in a couple weeks, because I know it won't say anything good. Sticking to plan for the most part, but since I haven't been exercising, the times I don't eat properly are enough to have me maintaining. I really miss my daily walks - I'm just going to have to suck it up and force myself to go out in the evenings after supper. Plus I'm sick of not meeting my monthly exercise goals!

OK, enough about me! I'm woefully behind in what everyone's doing but I'll try my best to catch up - I hate feeling out of touch with you all!

Heather, I think you made a good choice in spending some 'quality time' with hubby. A healthy marriage is just as important as a healthy body! And yummy-sounding dessert, too.

Jilly, I have the opposite problem! The section of our office where I sit is so cold, the other women and I have to wear sweaters, and holding a hot beverage feels so good! I'd rather be cold than hot though - I hate sweating unless I'm exercising. Good for you for making healthy choices this week!

bbybear, wow, if you can manage to fit in exercise with your schedule, I definitely have no excuse!

Ratkitten, do you typically roast the potatoes for a bit first and then add the rest of the veggies? I find that helps soften the taters without making the rest mushy.

Brenda, wow, that was an amazing picture! I bet that gives you a good dose of motivation to keep going. By the way, is the photo where you're standing in front of cabinets at your house? Those look exactly like my kitchen cupboards - even the handles look alike.

Ammi, happy belated birthday and WOW! on those pics - you look so much healthier, not to mention happier. You've come so far - you can do this, I know you can. Glad to hear you and Sharon were safe from the flooding, too.

Luan, I'm sorry to hear you've having a rough time. I hope things start looking up soon.

Vicki, welcome back. I've been pretty scarce myself lately. Good luck with the surgery - it sounds like it will have great results.

Cris, sorry to hear hubby was feeling sick, is he better now? If your husband is anything like mine, he doesn't handle being sick very well at all. I hope you both get back into the swing of things soon.
__________________________________________________ ___________

Alrighty, I'm off to relax a bit before bed. No more late nights for me! I'm snoozing away before 11pm.

I hope everyone has a good rest of the week!

lesley
no it is at my sisters mini home. and yes, it is a motivater for sure. We are going on 2 weeks of vacation but I cant wait till we get back so I can start full steam ahead again.

wyllenn - good choice spending time with hubby. It's as important to keep your marriage healthy as it is to keep your body healthy.

Jilly - bleah on the a/c. I don't have it at home, but I have the choice to leave and go someplace cooler. You can't do that at work. Hope they fix it soon.

bbybear - great job on finding time to exercise. It can be challenging to fit it in with such a busy schedule.

Brenda - great pics!

Ammi - my rear must have started having sympathy pangs today. I do the bike at the gym most days, but today my bottom was not happy with the time spent in the saddle.

cris - glad DS is getting back to himself.

I have had a fairly good day, it just didn't start off that way. I go to the gym every day and for the past 2 weeks it's been getting harder and harder to get through my normal routine. Shouldn't it be getting easier? the past 3 days going up the stairs from the locker room to the workout room has been a real task. Now I know that shouldn't be getting *harder*! I did some thinking about it and realized that it's my truck's fault. The truck has an exhaust leak and at stop signs the cab gets a lot of exhaust in it. I told my DH and he kinda blew me off. He wants to use the truck until he finds another cheap car. He had his eye on a $1900 Honda from a friend to a friend. I told him I am not getting back into the truck until the exhaust is fixed. Faced with the reality of doing all the errands and shopping by himself DH decided to go car shopping. We ended up with a Hyndai Accent. I was torn between that one and a Kia Rio. We pick the car up at 11am tomorrow and I am so excited. I'm still fixing up the truck, but now it's not our only transportation.

Nancy-When I had trouble remembering my vitamins in the morning, I just left the bottle on my desk at work. That seemed to work. You could try putting it in the cup holder in your car. You may be sleeping harder because you are finally in a settled place. What you were going through in your old place may have been messing up your sleep more than you realized.

Luan & Vicki-I think I said the last time someone had to come back again that I’d had my tail between my legs so much that it was starting to really tickle. Just take it a little at a time, and keep trying.

Cris-I’m glad your son is feeling better. That stuff is so scary when they can’t figure out what it is. These days, anything with the lungs, and I’d be thinking TB or bird flu or something. I’ve got to quit looking at those health reports and scaring myself.

Lesley-I’ve never been able to kick the emotional eating thing. I can only deal with it by not dealing with it by just getting rid of the bad stuff on the other side of the equation. That doesn’t always work in the real world.

Stacey-If your routine is seeming harder, it could be muscle fatigue or your body not making calories available when you need them.

I just got back from the mall. I spent 5 hours there finishing up my course work. Now all I have to do is type it. I guess I’ll be taking my final exam later in the week whenever the professor gets around to sending it to me. I kind of doubted that I could actually do it in the back of my mind. Between the brain injury and 15 years away from my last class, I just worried that I wasn’t up to it. Of course I haven’t seen a grade yet. Just because I’m finished doesn’t mean he liked my work. I came home and the mail had a letter from the Seminary officially accepting me into the Masters of Theological Studies program with a list of my course requirements. I guess I get to go enroll next week. It almost makes me want to go to the back to school sales and look at all the cool notebooks. I’m too big a tightwad to actually buy anything, but I’m almost as excited as I was when I picked out my first big chief tablet.

Catherine - At first I thought it might be muscle fatigue and my diet. I've been pretty careful with my diet and I lightened up on the intensity quite a bit. After giving it much thought I realized that it was possible that I had low level carbon monoxide poisoning coming from the exhaust. We took the truck to the gym so that's one reason the effects where more pronounced during my workouts. At night after several hours in the fresh air I always feel better. I don't start feeling tired and icky again until after I'm back in the truck.

I'm glad you're so excited about school. DH just went back to school and he loves it. Don't worry about being up to it, anyone who has the ability to lose 211lbs can do anything they want!

Aummi- i didn't eat cause I wasn't hungry I was excited about the opera and then worked called and this and that happened I wasn't even really hungry when I 1st ate that day. I knew I should have eaten earlier but stuff happens.

As for the leg swelling I have a disease called ploy-myo-sites. Simply put my immune system went into high gear to fight something off and never shut down. It needed a target and choose my muscle tissue. It went as far as attaching my heart and my kidneys nearly shut down do trying to remove the dead muscle cells. I a week in an ICU due my kidneys and weird heartbeat. I then spent another 3 weeks in a wheel chair learn to walk and building muscle back up. An another 3 months in rehab. When I went into the hospital I couldn't lift my arm up against gravity. My breathing was very shallow I simply couldn't breath deep everything hurt because my entire body was inflamed I slept out of pure exhaustion.

I'm on and have been since 2000 perdazone and methaltrexate to keep it under control. For as much good as they do me they also harm me such as increase and uncontrollable eating, extra weight, holding fluids, hair lose, osprois, and there are more extreme problems that can be caused but haven shown up. My doctors said I've done good for only gaining 50 lbs over 5 years many people have gain much much more with predazone.

A few years ago I tried to kill myself by simply not taking them anymore. I hate taking pills I hate feeling weak. I spent most of my life being told I was nothing and would never have a normal life. I finally prove them all wrong I free of those bonds and then when I was 22 I struck down with this?!? A disease that strikes many woman after the age of 55. WTF. So I had stop taking the meds cause I didn't want to be weak even if it killed me.

After 6 months or so and the pain returning I sat on night a bottle in one hand an having a pitty party for myself. My Gf at the time and I were having issues. An I just had enough and then it hit me washed over a simple thought. Being dead and my mom crying and my best friend crying over me cause I was dead because I was pig headed over a couple of pills. Does a few pills make me weak does it really make me less of a man.

I threw the bottle away and started on my pills again. I changed my out look on life and became positive which I never had been before. I have my bad days but not anything like I used to. My disease saved my life looking back now. I learn humility and to be humble and to ask for help when I need it cause you never have to go it alone. Had I not got it I more then likely would be dead or in jail.

I like living life and want more out of it then just eating, sleeping and working. I want to get married and have kids even tho fear that sits in back of my head is having a daughter her getting married and me not being able to walk her down the isle. Whether it be my disease or my weight it to helps drives towards being a healthier me.

Well I ramble on long enough and Aummi you asked a loaded question LOL.

Catherine- yes its an awesome feeling and congrats on the masters program.

Edit: I hope no one feels I toot my own horn. I know this is weight loss and such but I try to help people I meet even if its not face to face or directly. If my story of my life can help keep someone from having going thru I have or simply know they aren't alone out there if they are going thru it. Then I speak about it. Even if someone can say hey at least I'm better off them him. Even if it just one person. A simple act on your part can mean the world to another. I try to live by that.

So I'm sorry to anyone who my story's may annoy.

Luan: good luck on the clinical trial. I'll be eager to hear your reports. Do they tell you what the medication is intended to do (specifically)?

Dolfingirl: I dream of a tummy tuck when I have lost the weight. I am envious!

33tek: glad you're household is quieting down a bit. Thank goodness your son is better.

Litchick: good luck on re-starting your plan. I know how stressful finances can be--I am a personal financial consultant. I hope you can straighten out the situation quickly.

GTL: have a great vacation. I love that you lost so much weight you can have a party in your old pants!

Balloon: congrats on the new vehicle. I know you have a personal goal to exercise every day, but if you're still struggling after not driving the death mobile, you may want to consider taking a day off. Just a thought.

Catherine: congrats on your acceptance to the Masters program. I won't be surprised if you do well on the paper you just finished.



I went a little crazy with the peanut butter tonight. I ate about 600 over my max allowable calories for the day, but it could have been worse. I wanted to continue with a pizza. The peanut butter went into the trash. Can't have it in my office.

I "came out" and told one of my best friends that I am on an eating plan. This is the first time I have gone public with a weight loss attempt in years. After many failed attempts, it became embarrassing to admit to another diet, so I just kept it to myself. I'm hoping that by saying it out in the open I am putting some meaning and commitment behind it. The friend was very supportive. I'm lucky--I have great friends.

the medicine is intended to aid weight loss, is all i know. its not something radical to make you lose a lot of weight, its just supposed to be a booster thing. i guess. ive been on it for 2 weeks. i go to the bathroom a lot. i weigh in tomorrow to see the progress. i get a nutritionist, and all kinds of dr's stuff. blood tests and everything. they did all kinds of bloodwork and everything came back good. i have low cholesterol and im not pre - diabetic, so im really excited about that.