[Zest4Life]

Happy Friday everyone.

Thanks for the encouragement. You are all so encouraging, I knew there was a reason I joined this board.

I have not gotten totally back OP yet, but I also realize that beating myself up about not being OP every minute of every day is not going to help me either. So, I am going to take a cue from AA and aim for progress not perfection. I've done a lot of thinking in the last few days. What I realized is, one of my trigger times is right after I get home from work, so I snack and it's not always within my plan, so I would count the day as shot. I would then give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted the rest of the day with the idea that I would get back OP the next day. Well, I'm sure most of you can relate with the downward spiral that will start.

The new idea in my world is that I will not get to take the rest of the day off just because I don't do well for one meal or snack.


Debbie-I agree with what Catherine and Wyllenn said. It sounds like it is so frustrating for you and I can't imagine. I think it will be worth it to lay down the law and you'll feel better about yourself for not backing down as well.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

[Misti in Seattle]

Hi everybody

I just got home and it is kind of late (went out running around with a friend) so just checking in... but Annie I did want to offer this suggestion as to how to respond to rude people such as these. I have learned how to break them of it without being rude back. First... LAUGH while you are saying it... and look at them as if you can't believe what they just said... and say "You're getting kind of PERSONAL, aren't you?" and keep laughing so YOU don't come across as being nasty back. The person is rare who does not look sheepish and think twice about such comments in the future.

And Debbie, no I sure don't think you are being unfair. I think you are being taken advantage of and should tell them straight out and enforce it that they either abide by your rules and the agreement or find their own place pronto. You may have to "help" them grow up. This woman has unbelievable nerve asking YOU to justify charging them to live there. It is YOUR house and YOU make the rules. EXPLAIN to her how you are justifying the charges??? I think NOT!!! If they don't like it, tell them not to let the door hit them in the butt on the way out.

Catherine had some really good points... I am sure they will be mad at you now for taking a stand but as they mature and look back and GROW UP they will be grateful to you for taking a stand and caring enough to do what you needed to do even though it hurts you. Mommies and Daddies just don't want to see their kidlets hurting. But you are doing the right thing by not letting them take advantage.

And just a thought... I don't know if you did this... but the rules and agreements on both sides need to be written down, gone over together, and SIGNED by all involved... including the consequences of what happens if the agreements are not met.

And yes this IS the place to talk about this stuff.

[Heather]

Sue -- Great point about signing agreements! Great post all around!

Zest-- That's a great and important goal to strive for: progress not perfection. I think that kind of insight about the problem and possible solutions help lead to more permanent changes.

Then, the next step is figuring out how to not go off plan every day....

But one step at a time!!

[jaxnlula]

Debbie: Exactly what Catherine said, too! How nice of you to try to help them - One rule in life - EVERYONE PAYS! The sooner they learn this, the better for them. Trust me, I have roommates, and the more people you have in your house, the more the electricity, the water, the gas, etc. There were rules when they moved in and they accepted them. They have a choice: if they don't want to follow them, they can move out and pay more.

Good luck and be nice to yourself!

[futurediva]

good morning ladies
I have been a stranger this week as i am working alot to ready myself for my vacation tommorrow i just wanted to pop in and say hi, i miss you all!! Welcome to all the new posters. Hugs to all that are struggling, and kudos to those doing so well
I dont have time for personals, but i have to say something to ANNIE. I could not believe how RUDE that *** was to you , to say something like what she said. I mean, do people not have any deceny or manners anymore???? You are doing AWESOME, and you need to ignore STUPID people like that. I am proud of you
I am going on vacation tommorrow for 5 days i am going to Folly Beach which is a very nice beach near Charleston, SC. i am looking forward to this so much
As for me, i am officially in the 180's i lost 2 lbs this week. I am wearing size 12's, god i cant even believe that since back in the day i was wearing 24's!!! i just want to say to all the people struggling, you can do it. Trust me, if you would have told me when i weighed over 300lbs, i would someday be in the 180's and wearing a 12, i would have fallen over! i still have more to loose but i know if i dont give up, i can do it i think this time has been different for me because i believe in myself, and i believe i deserve to be healthy and happy. i just wish all this "clicked" when i was younger, i could have saved myself alot of turmoil and frustration, oh well, better late than never i hope to post tonight before i leave tommorrow. Have a wonderful day
kymberly

[Misti in Seattle]

Good morning everyone!

Ha here it is my day off and I am up at 5:30 AM but I love the cool early mornings! I'm going to try to catch up a bit on personals.

Donna, thanks for making me feel "not so alone" in the big boob club. I am also long waisted so even the shirts that say "longer length" are a joke! And what really fries me is that as I lose weight blouses get shorter and shorter. Take a look sometime in the store... the size 3X and larger blouses are about 6" LONGER than the 1X and 2X. Now do they think we are going to get SHORTER if we lose weight? Grrrrrrrr. My soapbox! Now you stay away from that pizza and into that pool!

Toofatforu you are certainly not a fraud! We are ALL here because we NEED the support and encouragement of others, and also is nice that we can offer it to others at the same time. Hope you stick around. You are certainly not alone in being "imperfect!" Glad you are back OP and hope you stay there!

Ratkitten, you are such an encourager around here... :hugs: Thoughtful of you! And thanks for the compliments on my smile.

Annie, you simply amaze me! You little (becoming littler) exercise machine, you! And I appreciate loving way you share your faith in God through your kindness and praying for others. I have certainly appreciated your prayer support for our little Annie. She has a long way to go but the progress is amazing compared to what she was like in January! We would all be thrilled if God would choose to heal her all at once but are also rejoicing in watching it happen step by step. Her Mommie is keeping copies of all the comments on her blogs and stuff so she can show it all to Annie someday! \o/ (that is hands lifted in praise). And hey, one more option on responding to people's rude comments to you about your weight. Make up some totally outrageous story and say it with a straight face to them... totally serious. Example I get asked why I am single (how RUDE) and (I actually got some of these ideas from Lucy Swindoll's book) I come up with something like "I was born with webbed fingers so until recently I was not able to wear a ring so could not get married. But now that I have had surgery and my fingers are normal I am looking and hoping to find a husband soon." Think up something stupid like that and say it without cracking a smile looking straight at them and I almost guarantee a few cracks like that will put a stop to it. And YOU are not being rude back to them and actually will get to enjoy seeing the sheepish looks on faces. With the fat maybe you could make up some totally outrageous and fictitious disease that you have with totally ridiculous symptoms, etc. I guess in a way it is lying but I don't really see it that way in these circumstances.


Catherine, hope your midterm went well! What are you studying specifically in school? Thanks for the encouraging words about the muscle building. I KNOW that of course but it sure would be nice to see some pounds start dropping. But I have an Excel graph and I am seeing the downward trend overall with the "highs" I hit being lower. I am trying hard not to focus on the scale but just keep going. And yah a couple of volleyballs in the shirt might help. What DOES help is not putting them in the dryer and stretching them lengthwise over and over when you take them out of the washer. But I just noticed how MUCH weight you have lost! Wow you are a mere shadow of your former self! That is just super and I am so proud of you!

Debbie, I hope you get the situation worked out soon with your kidlets! Sounds as if they can be pretty intimidating but it is easier not to back down from stuff if you do as you are doing... get input and good advice from others... think it through for what YOU then think is right... and plan in advance of how you will respond and what you will and will not allow so you don't end up blindly agreeing to things like lowering the rent when they complain! I am always very hesitant to give advice on such things since I don't have kids and it is easy to be an "expert" -- but I have friends who have been through such things with their kids -- it seems to often be a part of their learning to grow up ha -- and if you let them take advantage, things will just get worse. If they know they can't get by with stuff they will either shape up or ship out. Also... I appreciate your comments about my photos but want to encourage you not to let your size hold you back. And yes I DO know how hard it is! But I also want to point out that the reason this group I am with in the photos is having so much fun is because we are all out there GIVING to others and focusing on others, etc. It takes our minds off of ourselves and makes us focus on the needs of someone else... and know what... that is FUN and really brings a group together. It is hard sometimes. At first when I heard we were getting the T-shirts I was not even going to sign up to help as I KNEW these mass produced things would not go over my boobs. Of course I could have just worn a red shirt but then it is so obvious I am the fat chick who can't wear the shirts. But instead I found out where the shirts were made, went out and bought my own shirt, called and got the place to do a rush job on it and got my OWN shirt. And guess what... the other "booby" ladies were envious LOL! And I get to KEEP mine whereas the others were turned back in for later use.


Heather, don't you just hate those binge things? And yah evening is my dangerous time too!

Nancy I love that Mark Twain quote! I am always blessed by the Biblical account of Peter's walking on the water when Jesus told him to get out of the boat. What we often hear emphasized is how Peter SANK when he took his eyes off of Jesus. But I look at it another way. The main crowd stayed on the shore... a few got into the boat with him. BUT only ONE had the courage to GET OUT OF THE BOAT in the middle of the storm and walk to Jesus on the water. Okay so he sank, but Jesus lifted him right back up again! I tend to really identify with Peter and there is not a doubt in my mind that I would have gotten out of the boat! And I would have sank too ha! With the "crazy" adventurous way I have lived my life I have often told people yah it is "safer" on the shore or in the boat but it is a LOT more fun out walking on the water and even sinking! Hey, did you make it through the week without digging into all those yummies in your office? Hope so!!!!

And Ratkitten, your quote about the ships is also a good one and goes along with my "Peter" example! And you are right... this is a battle for all of us. If it was easy there would not be nearly as many fat people around ha!

Peggy, about the reunion... hmmmmm.... I guess it depends on whether you really WANT to go! I don't think you need to put yourself in a situation that makes you self conscious if you don't really want to. Xena's circumstances with it being the wedding of a special friend who especially wants her there is a bit different IMO. Let us know what you decide!

Heather, you are right about those cookies and stuff being moldy. I looked at them to and you know what... ALL of them that they sell are full of mold and germs! Amazing! We had ALL certainly best stay completely away from those disgusting things!

Jen, sorry you fell off the wagon and hope you have climbed back on it by now. Wow yah those calories can sure pile up fast and why do they put ON pounds so much more quickly than they are willing to go AWAY? We are all scooting our butts over a bit (since hopefully they are all a bit smaller) to make room for you back on the wagon!

Xena, I am glad you decided to go to the wedding. It does sound as if it is not really an option if you are going to be a good friend which I know you are to this person. And maybe this will help motivate you to get in gear and make your best effort... that's all you can do is try and lose what you can and then just go and try not to think about it. it is not always easy but does help if we can get our minds off of ourselves and onto the OTHER people and their big day. One thing I heard a long time ago which I think is so true... "Most of the time when we worry what people are thinking about us, they aren't thinking about us at ALL."

Shadiepurple, sorry you are having such a rough time of it. But believe me you are NOT the "worst chickie" here. Besides, it is not a contest anyway. We are all in this together! And glad you are back on those meds! Hope they really kick in soon.

Zest, hope you are back OP by now! It sure is easy to fall of the wagon, isn't it? Let me encourage you to "swallow your pride" and get out there and get walking and not be hesitant to get outside the house. I have to "cringe" sometimes too and just do it especially as I live in an area of the country where the fitness level is really high and here I am this big fat chick out riding around on my bicycle! But hey I remind myself that at least I am one of the ones out here TRYING to do something about it! So go for it!

Story, congratulations for making it out of the 370s!

jaxnlula, Yah I agree the chickies here are nice! And yes occasionally a gent shows up if any are brave enough.

balloonlady, to you also! Thanks for joining in.

Brenda, hope your weigh in wasn't as bad as you feared! And have a happy birthday tomorrow!

Lisa, congratulations on losing the pounds! Yay that is what we like to hear!

Hi Cris... welcome back! LOL I know what you mean about too many posts to catch up on personals. I decided to try but my comments are getting shorter and shorter ha!

Sarah Jane, welcome to you too! And if I have missed any other newbies... same to you!

Realist.... Ahhh there is one

Retep, so glad you are back! Hang around!

Metachick hope you enjoyed your lazy day! Those are so nice!

Kymberly, glad you are back! Have a fun vacation.

Wow I can't believe I made it through this! I started out with long comments and ended up with one liners, ha! But I really do enjoy the personal contact with everyone when I can! Blessings to everyone, and hope you all have a super Saturday.

in Seattle -- or actually now I need to rename myself "Sizzling in Seattle"

[Misti in Seattle]

Well I just went to the photo page and had to come back and add this.

Tarra! WOW! I am stunned at your success! you have lost 307 pounds! That takes real commitment and just plain hard work!

How are you doing it?

Sue

[dogpal]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Good Morning my Sweets.

Meta: Wow! Your workouts are sure going to be impressive. I wish I had the courage to workout with a trainer or have someone show me the machines for a bit. lol. I know after surgery I will have a trainer for 3 months that is included in the program and I am nervous already about it. lol I am proud of you hun.I am close to 100 and I know this sounds horrid but I am happy yet sad that even after loosing 100 pounds I am still HUGE
I am trying to be grateful and not focus on the negative. I am usually a cup half full type of gal but it is kind of bumming me out. Maybe I will be so happy when I actually get there that my cup will suddenly get 1/2 full. lol. My surgery consult is on the 26th of this month at 2 p.m.! I just want to get on with my life sooooo much.

Heather: I hope your anniversary date brings along with it lots of happy reflection and pride to you! Please share any wonderful or even not so wonderful thoughts with us.

Jax: I hope you have a wonderful day of Exercise.

Catherine: As always it is such a pleasure to read your posts. I bet you would make a great boss.

Nancy: So proud of you for your great choices when Have a super time with your friend and a very, very

bootytoolicious: Hey any time at the exercise mill is great! Late or not.

Debbie I say to the curb! Sorry that you are having such a hard time. Please don't allow them to push you around. I let my sister and her 4 children move in with us for a couple of weeks one time and 3 years LATER, I finally learned some people just don't appreciate help. They want hand outs. Why should you guys have to support them when they are not tryin to change. They haven't kept to their part of the bargain so they should just go I think. Hugs hun.

Zest: Small changes are what leads to the BIG ones.

Misti: Thanks for the advice. What a great way to handle it.

Kymberly: So, so happy for you hun. I hope your is amazing!

Well, I am planning on getting on the bike before it gets too hot. I am pretty excited about my exercise goal for this month. I set a goal of 1600 minutes for July and as of right now without even doing any exercises yet, I am at 1742 minutes! I hope to double that by the end of July! I am so taking my weight loss journey seriously. A while back there was talk by Brenda, Xena or Nancy I can't recall who but there was talk about making an exercise scrap book type thing. I have done it and I adore it. It is so precious to me. I have lots of photos in there of me in very unflattering outfits but I wanted a reference for myself. I have my ww book with my weights in it, all of my Optifast stat sheets and my Curves stat sheets, etc. Plus I tried to journal on every page remembering what was going on in my life at the time. I totally recommend it to everyone!

Blessings,
Annie[/FONT]

[Heather]

Kymberly -- Oh, that's awesome!!!! I made it into size 12 earlier this year and it was my dream, never-to-be-achieved size! I have since gained a few pounds back and am now rededicating myself to getting back to a size 12!!!

And everyone else, don't let Kymberly and Zelma and I be the only ones who make it into size 12s (or lower)!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!!!!!!!

[Heather]

Annie -- Exercise scrap book -- great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you are doing SOOO awesome!!

I also get how depressing it is to lose so much weight and have so far to go. I think the most depressing time for me was after I'd lost 70 pounds or so and then realized I was still unable to shop in most stores in the mall.

I think that's a normal part of this process. On the one hand you're THRILLED to be losing and on the other hand you're depressed about how far you let it go.

For me, the only choice was to remove the negative thoughts as quickly as I could and focus on the positive. I still am sometimes sad about the long term consequences of being morbidly obese (sagging skin, knee problems). But at least I have made enormous strides in taking back my life. I am in such a better place than I was 2 years ago! If I think about that way, I don't stay depressed.

[voodoo1]

Hi, Just a quickie, Debbie HOW OLD ARE THEY????? 16?lol They made an agreement & broke it, ie; no college, no cleaning, no dog spayed SO? So what's the point in letting them stay? AND they're being obnoxious about you 'upping' ha ha the 'board' payments? Wow they ought to be so grateful!! I think it might be worth your while writing it all down & either telling them everything or giving them the letter. I really sympathise with you, it must be hard but hey this is YOUR home & you're getting more work to do caring for dogs too. BIG HUGSxxxxx Hope it all gets sorted REALLY soon AND amicably!xxxxx
Gotta go & get stuff done. I'm struggling but plodding on.
Kymberly WTG!!!!xxxxx I'm so proud AND jealous of you!xxx
xxsharon
ps WELCOME new ladies!!xxxxxx

[Misti in Seattle]

Hi everyone

Hey now you KNOW for me to be recommending any processed food to you, it has to be a super idea! But just wanted to make sure everyone sees this thread regarding toddler food as snacks.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...64#post1774364

I just bought some of these and had one and it was wonderful! I would not feed them to a kid in a million years because of all the processing but for me for an occasional snack and something different I am going to try some more.

[CatherineM]

Zest-This is almost like perfectionist’s anonymous. You are going to find that a bunch of us have had to learn to deal with our perfectionism. One of the seven habits of highly successful weigh loss maintainers is that you have to expect failures, but just keep trying.

Kymberly-I spent the summer of 1982 in the Carolinas, and most of my weekends on Folly Beach. I’m sure it is not as sleepy now as it was then. I am with you on the wishing that you’d come around at a younger age. I sometimes feel like I wasted half of my life, but that’s better than wasting all of it.

Sue-I am finishing up the last two classes I lack for a BA in Pastoral Ministry before starting my Masters in Theological Studies program in September. The class I’m half way through with right now is Christology. We are up to the Middle Ages discussing Anselm of Canterbury, St. Thomas Aquinas, and St. Bernard of Clairvaux. So far it has been a comparative look at how theologians have viewed Christ through the ages. Some of the fights during the formation of the early church were really interesting, and some of it I’m convinced is just theologians who like to talk to hear their heads rattle.

Annie-I understand about losing weight and still being huge. I seriously understand. You’d think after 200 pounds I’d be able to walk normal through a doorway or down the aisle of the bus without having to turn sideways. I still can’t buy pants of the rack at any store. I will consider myself normal when I can buy pants at a thrift store. Until then, it have this feeling of not quite being human.

Sharon-I’m plodding along with you. I’ll bet things are pretty insane across the pond right now with the last Harry Potter book about to come out.

I figured that since we have so many new members, that it was time to reprint the Seven Habits of Highly Successful Weight Loss Maintainers. This if from the National Weight Control Registry at the Center for Human Nutrition at the University of Colorado. These people on the registry have to have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. Most have lost much more than that, and kept it off for 3 years.

1. Expect failures, but keep trying. (The only way to fail is to give up)

2. Don’t deny yourself. (Denying yourself just makes you want it more and binge)

3. Weigh yourself often. (Most obese individuals haven’t weighed themselves in years, and have no idea how much they have gained. Just don’t weigh so often that you replace an obsession with food for an obsession for the scale. Once a week or once a month is often enough for most)

4. Do serious planned exercise. (Make it something that you enjoy, can afford, and is convenient so that you can stick with it.)

5. Add little bits of physical activity into daily routine. (Yep, that’s the take the stairs and park farther away stuff)

6. Low fat/High carbo diet. (Any diet that you can stick to will work, but a majority of those on the registry mostly used this approached. Think healthy first.)

7. Eat five meals a day. (It helps balance your blood sugar to avoid cravings, and never lets you get too hungry. It also can help shrink your stomach.)

They also found that most of the successful losers had yo-yo dieted for years, and made many unsuccessful attempts to lose weight before finally finding that something that worked. Half of the people lost weight without help from a particular diet plan, so if you can’t afford to belong to a gym or weight loss club, you can still be successful. 60% on the registry reported a family history of obesity, and 66% had been fat kids, so you can over come the “fat gene.” The good news is that if you keep it off for at least 3 years, chances are you will never regain it. The three year mark seems to make a huge change and apparently your metabolism will heal if given enough time.

[NotTheCheat]

Annie – I can’t believe people were so rude to you! I like Sue’s suggestion a lot. Also, I love the exercise scrapbook idea (it wasn’t me). I think I might do that too! It will be so important when we get to our goals to remember where we came from to help us stay on track with maintaining.

SJ – Good for you for getting to the gym. 40 minutes is not bad at all. It will definitely take time to rebuild your stamina.

Debbie – I definitely don’t think you are being unfair. Having extra people in the house adds a lot more than they might think to the costs. For one thing there is the extra electricity and water. There are more showers and dishes and clothes washing – all which aren’t fixed costs. You want to do right by your son and help him, but that doesn’t mean that he and his wife have the right to not respect you and your husband. If they were going to school and contributed equally in other ways to the running of the house then maybe they might have some grounds for negotiation.

Zest – If you normally snack right when you come home from work, a great idea is to have that planned into your day. I normally eat a snack on my way home from work because I too have that problem of walking in hungry and not wanting to wait until dinner.

Kymberly – Congratulations on getting into the 180’s! I hope you have a super time at the beach.

Sue – That is a great analogy with the story about Peter and the boat. I think that is one of the reasons I got as big as I was. I was so afraid of failing that I would refuse to take the first step. Sometimes we just need to make that leap of faith that if we try then the tools we need to actually do the job will somehow be there, but without actually starting to try we won’t be able to find them. Also, I did make it through the week without eating any of the goodies!

Heather – I totally agree that focusing on the positive is the only way to keep going. We can get so bogged down by the negatives, but it really isn’t at all helpful.

Sharon – How are things with your dh now?

Catherine – Thanks for posting that list. They are all great points and I think #1 is #1 for a reason. We just have to keep on trying even when things are rough.


My friend got on the road later than she had intended because she has two small children and they weren’t very happy about her going away without them. It gave me some extra time to check in here and get some things done around the house. It is a gorgeous day. I am hoping she will want to walk to town tonight. I think it would be fun to wander around and check things out. I have been meaning to do that since I got here.

[Misti in Seattle]

Hi! Will be back later today to post more but just wanted to come on right away and say a big thank you to Annie! Annie... I have been SO bogged down by the heat... I just don't cope well at all with it... and this morning was prepared to kind of slug it away. I haven't exercised much at all this week. But when I read all you are doing I thought "Hey if SHE can do it, I can do it!" And I just went out to the pool and did 105 minutes of HARD (and some gentle and slow too of course) water exercises! Now I am cooling off under the fan and feel super!

That is what is so neat about this forum! Encouragement and the right word just when you need it!

Also last month I met my monthly exercise goal of 1200 minutes on 7/15... and on July 8 I was at 1070 so was set to "smoke it" -- but then slacked off all week. BUT now I have made it to 1215 and it is only the 14th so I still blew past it ha and I am not done for the day.

So Annie.... big big to you!!!!