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Old 11-13-2014, 12:32 PM   #1  
3st 1lb lost 5st to go 😝
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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Unhappy What do you think?

Hey folks,
Kinda wanting a bit of advice/input. Not sure if this is the right place to post this.

I've been dieting and exercising and have lost just over 3 stone.
Haven't really planned for mentally how this would feel, I still have a further 5 stone to loose but after loosing this initial weight naturally I've dropped dress sizes and yes you can visibly see the loss but I can't help feeling lost and feeling like I've lost myself and who i was. I've always been that stereotypical big girl who would be quick to put myself down and use humour to detract from
Whatever was going on, in short i was always the joker of the group.

Since loosing the weight, I've been told I'm no longer fun anymore and have had quite a few friends walk away from me. Some people tell me that I must be so happy that I've lost the weight, yes I guess I'm happy about that aspect but I'm not happy that I feel I've lost myself and lost my way.

Coupled with this, in the classes I go to at the gym, even with the weight loss I'm the biggest in the classes. Just finding it all a bit strange and awkward. No-one at the gym has ever made me feel uncomfy and no one has ever said anything, this is totally a personal observation and maybe paranoia.

Just not feeling too good about it all, there's no way back but I never imagined how scary this would be and how lonely it would be. I've got people telling me I'm doing well but I'm just not feeling good at all.

Any suggestions or do I just need to man up and get on with it?
Thanks in advance x
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Old 11-13-2014, 12:36 PM   #2  
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I do understand. When I had extra weight on me, I used the weight to bolster my intellect quotient....I figured I was the clever one in the group. Better clever and wise than ordinary and overweight..
also for me as my body was adjusting to going sugar free there was a bit of a revolt.. as though my cells were crying out in pain for their sugar fix...
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Old 11-14-2014, 08:56 AM   #3  
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I could write an essay on this. In fact, I have written a lot on this: Forgiveness and Body Acceptance.

This isn't an easy thing to overcome. You are changing, there is no doubt about that. It's often hard for friends/family to accept when you get healthy. They are used to a different version of you and people don't like change. We naturally prefer routines and habits, so if your friends are used to you drinking and eating crap with them, when you change that routine and stop/slow down drinking and pass on the app, it's a hard for them to wrap their heads around.

A lot of marriages/relationships struggle when one partner changes their lifestyle and the other doesn't. I know my marriage has had rocky patches because of it.

The gym takes time. The longer you go and more confidence you build in yourself the less other people will phase you.

Hang in there, you're worth it.
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Old 04-15-2015, 06:33 AM   #4  
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You'll get new and better friends! What kind of friend walks away from a friend who is trying to get healthy and change their life for the better?!
Don't get it.

Don't worry about being the biggest in the gym. Everyone is self conscious and think that others are looking, but the fact is - everyone is so busy with themselves that they have no time to judge others!!!

That is what I feel. I used to be so scared going but once you get going you forget that there is anyone around you. Just put your favourite tunes on and concentrate on your breathing

I'm always the biggest in my gym, but as I get fitter and fitter I can see I can actually run and do things better than the skinny ones
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:32 AM   #5  
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I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. Despite their lack of support, you have achieved something awesome, so congratulations!

I've always been bigger than the people on my sports teams and many of the other women in the gym, but I focus on me (and mentally cheer on everyone who's there and working), but it's not always easy.

Now that I've made some changes for the better, I'm being the kind of friend I would want to have, so I welcome the changes as they come.
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