My two cents & experiences....

I think my "spot" moves higher/lower as a gain & shed weight. As a medium sized person I never had that big O. As a larger person it works best with him on top, as a smaller person it's best with me on top.

My second observation is that bodies go through cycles. Every body has a different cycle but they can range from every few months to years. You plateau while losing weight, your taste buds shed & rotate every couple of weeks, you have energetic bursts and moody times.... why not sexual rotations too? The more frustrated you get the harder it is. Relax, have fun, try something new :)

I've read some really great stuff here! Setting time aside to explore new positions, toys, lubricants, lotions, mental stimulation (porn). . . You ladies are awesome!

For me, orgasm is mental first, stimulation second, with the exception of my first vibrator experiences. If I am "not in the mood" when DH and I start, I am unlikely to orgasm. Sometimes I have to read or fantasize and masterbate for a bit to get in the mood. Some nights I can tell that the usual position is just not going to ring my bell. Also, a bit of fantasy during the act can help me get there. Maybe some role play, maybe just talking dirty to him and hearing/feeling him react can get me ready to go when he does. I wouldn't recommend faking it to placate him, but that's your call.

Could it be that you are thinking too much about the orgasm like trying to hard, perhaps you aren't relaxing I know it's hard not to think, I want to get there can I do it this time, but the more you do the harder it will be for you. I hope this helps.