Well, life is slightly better today, but I'm still not feeling that great. I am questioning everything in my life, I think. I feel like crap about myself, I wonder what's wrong with me that I can't just lose weight without such a struggle. I don't have lots of stress in my life (when my boss isn't around!), I have a loving supportive husband and family, no one's sabotaging me except me. I am not happy at my job anymore. My boss reminds me of my old boss, 2 jobs ago, who was a micro-manager, and speaks condecending to me all the time. I don't like working for a woman. I wanted to pursue real estate as a part time career, hoping that when we have kids, I could quit my job and do that, so I could be a mostly stay at home mom. Now I'm thinking, maybe I should go to college, it's something I regret not doing. I feel like I will never get anywhere in life if I don't have a college degree. I feel like I don't fit in with the other assts. in my office, they're more polished than me, I guess. Maybe it's just that they're thin and can wear expensive designer suits. I could wear designer suits too, but even if I could afford it, I can't see spending $200. on one outfit! I guess I'm cheap...it's my Scottish genes. I try to dress neat though, and because I'm 5'10", I carry most things well, but fat is fat, and thin people and managers just see that, I guess.
See, I'm starting to ramble, and as you can see, everything is bothering me...oh and then there's the freaking hag...aunt flo...she came and spotted for 15 days, then I had 1 heavy day, 1 light day, and now she's practically gone!! And she was due to come today!! UGH I'm ready to go back on the pill!!
Liz- We have an iMac and a PC, DH is a comic book artist (wishes by trade) and wanted it. The PC is on the fritz for some reason...probably because of all the stuff he's got jammed on it!! I get frustrated on the iMac because you can't do all the little functions you can on a PC!! Congrats on the size 12's!
Skinny Cows...these are the ones by Sillouette, correct?? I bought some last time I was shopping, just to see if I liked them...haven't had one yet, but I paid 4.69 for them, which is probably why I don't usually buy them!! But I did the math, and it's really not that bad because it comes out to .78 cents each.
OK, time's up...back to work! Have a great day all.
Hello all..Back from the MD and she gave us the green light to try again after 2-3 cycles..Now I am questioning whether that is meant for me or is it to stay childless and get the BMW Z3 convertible..Hmm..life's decisions...
THere is nothing genetic wrong between Refman and I. it was strictly a problem with the baby...
WEll, stayed OP today..no excercise but that will be tomorrow!!!I am finding that by cooking green beans every night...I pick on them and not other junk and they are 0 points!!!!
RR
Lauren: I'm sorry everything is such a 'crapper' right now. Maybe you should look for a totally different line of work and if your interested in real estate I don't think it takes that long and its something you can do part-time. Real estate people are hard to work with too - its very cut-throat business. I know about being in a job you hate. I was a Bank Manager for 2.5 years (my forgotten years) I went from Suits/hose/drycleaning bills to working for a Sports Camp where we wore sweats or shorts all the time (even in the office).
I was just reading today that sometimes after being on the pill for several years our bodies forget what the hormones are suposed to do and when. Its frustrating to never have a regular cycle again. I deal with PCOS and can't even get a period without being on the pill (or flying - something about flying would give me a period). I'd rather not be on the pill. We're done with our family but I'd rather not have to live by chemicals. I'm very afraid to go off the pill again that I'd pour on the weight again. The pill keeps my hormones balanced and makes it easier for me to lose weight (wierd huh?).
We finished the driveway this morning. It was quite a workout. My UPS driver asked us if we were going to pave or asphalt it now that we had new rock. I said "are you kidding we're too cheap. It took me 9 years to talk my husband into a $100 load of gravel and he has me out here moving it by hand, won't let me rent a little Bobcat". Won't let me buy gravel but the guy is always willing to drop $300 for a guitar or guitar toy.
HI all,
Lauren, I am sending you a big giant hug! It just sucks when you have days like that. Remember what a great person you are!
Rabbit, Oh you are so right! Some days are so hard to stay op. So far so good here but I have had some major challenging times.
Jul, It sounds like you have been working hard.
Lizzard, Way to go on the jeans. I am so looking forward to the day I can go into any store to purchase clothes. I am tired of the womens section. How do you store the oranges and grapefruit after you peel them?
RR, Oh my the Z3! That is what I want. The DH and I have been batteling over that one. I caved and bought the Honda Accord sport model but I am thinking that I just might trade it.
Ok where is Legal, Tech, Pyria and Dani and the others who have not been checking in here?!
It's gonna be a tough day for me. My scale is not moving. How can I be at a plateau already!?! I've only lost 3 lbs. I just keep telling myself to give it a month and I'll see results with the tape measurer. Why is it we rely so much on the scale number?? I just finished breakfast and I'm still starving. Mmmmm...this water is so good!! NOT!! One more hour and I can have my mid morning snack...tick tock.
Rabbit & Backfor, I peel the oranges and grapefruit and stick them in tupperware or ziploc bags (separately). I usually peel enough for me and DH to last us about 3 days. I don't know how long it'll keep after that. We go thru it pretty fast. I love grapefruit but never used to eat it cuz it's such a pain and I didn't like the aftertaste. In the morning I take a small bowl and put 3-4 orange slices on the bottom and then load the rest up with grapefruit. That way my last couple of bites are sweet and it cures the tart aftertaste.
Juldiet, congrats on getting the driveway done. It sounds like you put in a lot of hardwork. Why are men so eager to spend money on toys?? My hubby is the same way.
RR, goodluck on whatever decision you make. I love kids and used to want them when I was in my 20's but I was never in a stable enough environment to bring one into the world. Now that I'm 34 I'm too spoiled and stubborn to have one -- I like my peace and quiet. Instead we help out with friends by babysitting their little ones and giving them a night out. It makes everybody happy.
LBH, hang in there. It sounds like your hormones might be going a little crazy. Maybe the planets aren't in the right alignment for you. It'll get better. We're all having our own personal struggles with weight loss. I know...not what you probably care to hear right now. Just remember we're here to support one another.
Just wanted to pop in and say hi, busy here at work. At least it makes the time fly! Thanks for the hugs and kind words and thoughts. I'll post more later.
Jul--I have to agree with U on the pill..I could lose weight and keep it off..It is weird..marriage and getting off the pill, plus that brief preg stage..makes it harder than ever...I really want to lose 10lbs.....I was down to 108lbs when I met Refman..Now, I am at 1??lbs and sort of feel miserable....but, I have to admit..not as sick as before with the colds etc~~~~
Liz===Lifes decisions!!!I am old soo I must choose soon!!!
WEll, I must go save lives!!!!!!Still praying for that darn AF!!!!!
Vicki
I'm gonna try and get a post in here before the madness starts...well, it's waiting for me, I just have to start it!!
Jul/Vicki- I dont' know if the pill stabalized my weight or made me lose/gain. I really don't think it affected me at all. Just like quitting smoking didn't affect me either way. I was always irregular before the pill, and they say your body goes back to how it was before...so it seems it's true. Although since I've been doing a lot of reading lately, I've learned soo much about how my body works, and I've learned to track things, not just be surprised when AF shows up. That's good, but it's frustrating, just when I think I've figured myself out, AF throws me for a loop! DH is disgusted!! He thinks she's gonna be here forever!!
I'm looking into something new...someone posted here once, a new person, about a place called Curves. I had checked out the website at the time, but there wasn't one close to me. Well, now they're popping up all over the place, it's like the new hottest thing going. I got a Val-Pak coupon for a free week the other day, so I think I will check it out. There's 2 not that far from me. I don't know a lot about the details yet, but I did read on one of the location's sites that it's $39./mo. That's $20. cheaper than the gym, and includes some kind of weight loss guidance. I'm not sure what it consists of, I think it's mostly an exercise thing. I think it'll be good for me, because it's an organized thing, not just go there and workout. It's 30 minutes of complete exercise. Anyone checked it out?? Check out Curves
RR- Thanks for the hug!
Rabbit- I like the new thought!
Liz- Hang in there! Have some more water...throw some lemon in it, or a splash of cran-rasberry!! Hope the scale moves for you soon!
Jul- The cut-throat end of it is one of the reasons I'm not sure I could do real estate. I know I can sell a house to someone, it's the paperwork and cut throat of the business I'm unsure about. I was actually getting myself excited last night thinking, gee, if this Curves place works out, and I succeed to lose weight that way, maybe I'll open one of them, closer to home!
OK, really gotta get to work now...have a great day all!!
Just thought I would interject a thought (even though it is two days late, LBH). The real reason to get thin is for our health, prejudice aginst fat people is just that, prejudice!!! It does not affect your ability to do your job, or your ability to love, or be loveable. If others have a problem with your weight, let it be their problem!!!! I haven't been here very long, but from what I can tell, Lauren, you are a great person. You are working hard to loose your weight, and you have to give yourself credit for that. And that makes you a better person than the thin, prejudice, vein idiots who think their size gives them any superiority!!!! And about the $200 suits, have you looked at resale shops? I live in resale shops, and you'd be suprised at the name brands, and the quality of things you can find in them with just a little bit of looking.
Liz, don't feel alone, my scales aren't moving either!!! Dh has lost 6.5 pounds since we started this whole thing, i've lost 0 and I've been behaving better than him. It may be hormone problems for me!!
Op yesterday - woohoo - and 5 points left! I love it when I have a day like that.
RR - well, it is good that you're not as sick as before. Maybe you're at a healthy place?
Lauren - we have a curves near here but I have not been to it. I'll be curious to see what you think of it. I do think it is mainly an exercise place like you said.
Lyssa - men just seem to do that, don't they? If you're doing it right, those scales are BOUND to move soon!
Rabbit
**what am I requiring of myself?**
(I want to keep that in mind)
Lyssa- No problem being late! Actually, there are a few consignment shops right around here where I work, I've gone to one of them and bought a few things...some nice wool pants for $30., a suit for $35, I think it was, and I think I bought something else, can't remember. It's still hard to find stuff though, I was surprised they even had plus sizes. She said they normally don't get much stuff, but this one lady just happened to come in. Another reason I don't wear suits is because I'm just not a suit person. I'd rather wear Khaki's and a sweater. My office is business casual, so I don't have to wear suits, but the other girls do. I don't normally let things like this bother me, usually I could care less what others think of me...I'm the one that goes to church in jeans or sweats, despite the way people look at me, because I know God doesn't care what I'm wearing, as long as I'm there fellowshipping with other Christians!! (Man, did that annoy my mom growning up!) Anyway, I think the way I was feeling just brought everything around me down, and it bothered me...still does, but not enough to make me upset on it's own!
Rabbit- You had 5 pts. left and still starved yourself?!?! You are strong...
I called and made an appointment for 5:30 tonight at the Curves that's closer to work. Didn't get to ask a bunch of questions, but I figure that's what I'll do tonight. Will let you all know how it went.
Good Evening!!!!
Doing better on the OP..I have to work on unconscous picking...I really am noticing about the taste testing during supper!! I am saving 5 points/day for those unknowing bites!!
Well, MG parties are happening now..That darn kingcake!! I am gonna think about that cruise or the trip to Germany for our anniversary....and of cours..STAY AWAY FROM FOOD TABLES!!!!!
BFB--What are U planning?????I worry when U are away for more than a day!!!!!
Lauren--I heard Curves was a good place...Try REading the book"Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility" by Toni somebody..I got mine on Amazon in the used section for $6..I learned soo much..I even saw that the day I thought I got PG to get that boy, noooo way.....I temp and chart and really read that one wrong in October...I understand my body soo much better and If I am correct...AF will come next week about the 13th...We shall see!!!
Rabbit--I must be at the healthy place, but it is different...I felt better when people told me I looked bad cuz I was soo thin~
Mardi Gras is a lot of fun. Here in Texas, they have a pretty big celebration on Galveston Island, but I haven't been able to go since we loaded up on the kids (i.e. we have 4 with no one to baby sit for us.) But it was a lot of fun last time we went. Some day, I would like to see it in the French Quarter in New Orleans. My brother lives in Slidell, LA, and he goes every year. At least we get his left over beads!!!
Well, I got a big surprise today. I got on my scales and they were 5 lbs. down. I was so excited!!! But then I got on them later, and they were back up. Maybe it's not me, maybe it's the scales. They're Health O'Meter scales, but they don't seem to work that good. (hopeful thinking anyway)
LBH- if you are ever in Houston, Texas; you should go to Value Village (Purple Heart's Thrift store). They usually have a huge selection of Plus Sizes. Then again, you won't need them much longer anyway. But I thought I would share that with you. Maybe my user name should be "Thrifty".
I almost forgot, dh sent home a notice that his weight loss group at work sent out. The person who has sort of become the leader used to be an aerobics instructor; and she said that two short (30 min.)exercise workouts are better for loosing weight than one long one. She said that the short one has the same affect on your metabolism as a long one, and if you do it twice then you get twice the benefit of raised metabolism!!! (Just thought I would share)
I try to dress neat though, and because I'm 5'10", I carry most things well, but fat is fat, and thin people and managers just see that, I guess. 
I'm ready to go back on the pill!!
Have a great day all.
~ Yeah on all of the outside work.
Maybe the planets aren't in the right alignment for you.
It'll get better. We're all having our own personal struggles with weight loss. I know...not what you probably care to hear right now. Just remember we're here to support one another.
I am gonna think about that cruise or the trip to Germany for our anniversary....and of cours..STAY AWAY FROM FOOD TABLES!!!!!
