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-   -   Single Thirty somethings!!!! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/30-somethings/129711-single-thirty-somethings.html)

Violin Jenn 01-10-2009 07:12 PM

Hi ladies!:wave:

I'm in need of some advice and honest opinions. My new job is not going so well. Back in the middle of November I was given a transfer from a division of Accounts Payable to General Accounting. Since then, it's been a learning experience I've loved. I enjoy the work and even though I am still working on my undergraduate degree, I can do the job and excel at it. The first month end close was difficult because I had this list of duties and no idea what I was looking at or what to do or whom to ask about it. No one has spent any time with me. I was just dumped into the job and they assumed I knew it all, when in fact it was like walking into a new company.

This part is where I need the advice and opinions. You see this past week was part of a week and half to two week month end close process. My boss wants General Accounting to close in 7 days. For me and everyone else that means for that 1 1/2 to 2 weeks every month we have to expect to work 10-12hours a day. That include includes working through lunch and coming in early. For me, I feel those hours come with being a manager, doctor, lawyer or CPA at H&R Block in April. Those hours are now the new Month End normal expectations. Those hours are SERIOUSLY impacting my ability to be healthy. To workout regularly does not happen because I won't get home until 8pm or so straight from work. Eating healthily is difficult because the stress causes me to not want to eat....anything at all, but I know that is not healthy either and coming home so late I don’t want to eat anyway. Normal hours are 8:30am to 5:30pm. While I do love the job, I believe in balance and not letting a job, working out, or a diet dominate my life. There is more to life than work.

I’ve updated my resume and I feel that I can find a job in this economy that will allow me to work 8hours a day with minimal overtime, go to school, workout and have a balanced life. I fear that if I stay at this job I’ll remain single (as I don’t even have the energy during the close to do online dating) and do poorly in school.

I feel that treating us this way, is simply treating us as expendable equiptment not human beings. As I’ve mentioned I’ve updated my resume and am going to look for a new job full force. Hopefully I’ll find a company that will help with college tuition, pay a decent salary with minimal overtime so I can work out regularly again.

Thoughts on the way my boss is treating us are welcome and thoughts on how I can stay healthy during those long hours would be greatly appreciated.

PS-With these hours I'll be single forever!

Naia 02-10-2009 08:41 PM

Hi Jenn!

Has anything happened with your job?

I think while working those hours once in a while would be fine, that working them 2 weeks out of every month just is too much. Well, unless suitably compensated, but even then, for me, it wouldn't be enough. I need a balance in my life.

Could you ask to be transferred to a different department? Or continue to look for a different job while you work there?

It seems that job expectations of overtime have risen. Everywhere I see them laying off people, but not changing the work load. Several of my friends are working in departments that used to be 10-12 people, and now are 3 to 4. They're just expected to work overtime to get things done. It's not really fair. I guess in this economy employers feel like they have the upper hand. It's gotten really hard to find jobs here in California, so people are just sticking with what they have.

As for keeping healthy with those hours --- I have that same trouble myself whenever I have to work too much. Exercise seems to be the first thing to go.

Could you bring food to work, and eat dinner there, so that when you get off work you could go directly to working out for even a short 20-30 minutes before going home? Or do a video or something before work? That way it's done and out of the way. Sometimes I have good luck with bringing lots of snacks and just grazing at the desk on healthy things all day. It keeps my calories from going too low. And some frozen entrees for lunch - not the best, but easy if you have a microwave & fridge at work.

I agree, with those hours it's hard to find time to have a life! I hope something else turns up for you!

Ufi 02-12-2009 09:27 PM

Hey, singles! What does your Valentine to YOURSELF say? Are you doing anything special for yourself for Valentine's Day?

I'm having a party for singles. I'm thinking about getting myself flowers or something.

grneyedmustang 02-13-2009 12:42 PM


Originally Posted by Ufi (Post 2610130)
Hey, singles! What does your Valentine to YOURSELF say? Are you doing anything special for yourself for Valentine's Day?

I'm having a party for singles. I'm thinking about getting myself flowers or something.

Hi Ufi!!! I went to Bath and Body works and stocked up on sale stuff. I bought a little bit of Godiva chocolate. Those are my Valentine's Day gifts to myself. I usually end up doing that every year because in the 31 years I've been on this earth, I can count the number of times I've had a Valentine on one hand. People are always telling me "its a commercial holiday so why do you even care?" - but it would be nice to have a guy treat me to dinner and flowers for once.

My friend and I are having our anti Singles Awareness Day party on Saturday. We're going to listen to old music, have a nice dinner/wine, and laugh.

Notice that the abbreviation for Singles Awareness Day is SAD?

Naia 02-13-2009 02:22 PM

I'll probably get flowers for the table, just because it's a good excuse for flowers! And maybe spend the day reading, as a treat for myself :-)

I try not to let myself dwell on it too much, or I'll end up feeling depressed. Most valentine's I've been alone, but the past 4 I've been with my non-committing (now-ex) boyfriend. We broke up for good last Nov, just in time for all the holidays! yay, me! :D

Ufi 02-13-2009 08:22 PM

Yep, I've had a Valentine only a few years of my life. Commercial holiday or not, it's difficult to not be included in a holiday so many people celebrate.

Boy, in the past I've bought myself boxes of chocolates and then consumed them all at one sitting, I was so depressed. Talk about response to social pressure! I'm glad I'm getting over the idea that I'm not OK if I'm not coupled. I'm actually feeling pretty good about going in to Valentine's Day. I can buy my own flowers and not have to deal with the inattentive fellow forgetting or the backhanded remarks or stuff like that. I'm really not that unusual, being single.

Triden77 02-15-2009 09:33 PM

Wow. Im so glad I stumbled over this thread. Im new to the site in general but this thread is a God-send. Im 31 and am not married and do not have children. It's rough being the only one of your friends NOT in a committed relationship or married and it wreaks havoc on your self-esteem. Not to mention sometimes sabotages your weight loss plans!
Anyway, just wanted to say "hello" to everyone!

Ufi 02-17-2009 11:39 PM

Hello, back!

Naia 02-24-2009 07:15 AM

Hello and welcome!! I just turned 37, and my baby sister (28) found out she's pregnant. Now I'm the last one in the family who's not married with kids. My mom keeps trying to set me up.

If I was living in the 1800's (or even 1900's) I'd be the old maiden aunt! I even take care of my grandfather! So I guess I'm glad I live in 2009, where I might get pressured, but at least I'm not an old maid!

grneyedmustang 02-24-2009 10:04 AM

Hello, Triden! I'm a bit late, but I know totally how you feel...anyway, think of it this way...

we can do what we want, when we want to...
we don't have to share the bed or the remote...

I'm sure I could think of an entire list of the "we don't have to's" for the single 30 somethings!

Ufi 02-24-2009 09:59 PM

I, for one, don't have to call and explain to anyone why I'm working late and when I'll be home. I'll get done when I'm done and do what I like when I get home. And I don't have to listen to anyone complain about the unwashed dishes.

Naia 02-24-2009 10:15 PM

My favorite thing is that my money is MY money. I get to decide what to do with it. Save, spend, whatever *I* want without having to justify my purchases, or factor in a family budget.

Actually at this point, I don't know if I could deal with a combined bank account!!

Violin Jenn 03-01-2009 10:47 PM

Hi Ladies!:wave:

UGH! Its' bee so long since I've had time to post!

So let me catch you up. My job has been a nightmare! What it boils down to is that for two weeks of every month I'm working 12-14 hours a day, possible weekends and not allowed time off during those two weeks (unless of course your in the hospital, have a doctors note or are dead). The stress of it all has been affecting my health. I've been feeling dizzy, light headed, not sleeping, bingeing like nuts, feeling like as if I've drank waaaay to much caffiene, pounding headachs and my hands have been shaking. My life has been revolving around my job. No time to workout of any kind, cook healthily, read a magazine or book, play violin or keep up with friends. In fact I've lost a lot of friends because of it. The company is not doing well and the "war drums" are signaling another round of layoffs. So in the best interest of my health, I resigned. My last day was Friday 2/27. It was a decision that I did not make lightly nor easily. But no job is worth what that one was doing to me. I was starting to feel very depressed.

I do however have the wheels in motion full speed. My resume is up on Monster and Careerbuilder and with two recruiters. I'm supposed to meet with another recruiter who found my resume oline tomorrow, 3/2, but we in Philly are gearing up for a big snow storm. So it looks like I may have to reschedule. The position he has sounds like a perfect fit for both myself and the company. Hopefully all will work itself out! On Tuesday 3/3 I'm also meeting with another recruiter who also found my resume online. He mentioned that he had 2 positions that I would be good for and Thursday there is a careerfair in Philly. The 2 positions he has are in Philly though which means a 3%wage tax and $$$ monthly train passes and one heck a long commute to school twice a week. The other recruiter (meeting 3/2)though mentioned his position closer to my home and would make getting to school easier. The one closer to home is the one I REALLY want! So please send your positive thoughts, good luck and prayers my way!:goodvibes:goodvibes:goodvibes::crossed::cross ed::crossed::crossed::crossed:

So even though I'm unemployed, I don't envision being unemployed for too long. I do need to de-stress and relax. I REALLY need to get to the gym too. I've gained 10lbs from my last job and I want it OFF!:tantrum::tantrum:
So now that I'm out of that Palace of Doom, it's time to get the diet and exercise back on track. Tomorrow is the first day to getting my body and wardrobe back!:drill::drill:

I've found a great website tasteofhome.com that has tons of great reciepes. Not all are healhy, but I like the challange of re-working them into healthier versions!

Now for the good part! One of the recruiters I originally saw has been so supportive with everything I've been going through at work (did I mention that I went to my managers and asked for help and instead they ripped me to shredds, contacted HR and put me on a "training program" that had the bar set so high I could NEVER reach it in 30 days and thus would have been fired). I sent him an email updateing him on my situation and my decision and he said understands, etc. He even emailed me back during a conversation we were having and asked if I ever go out for drinks maybe he can meet me. Well absolutely of course he can!!!:love: I'm not going to turn down getting to know someone that kind, sweet, caring, supportive and cute! :love::love: But since right now I'm stressed out with a crazy schedule, he said to just let him know. As soon as things settle down I will most certainly let him know I could use a drink!:drinkup: Lets hope all goes well there too.

But other than that, I need to play catch up with school because work didn't permit me the time to do homework that I needed too. So that's what's been going on with me. It's been exhausting!:faint::faint::faint:

So I agree with Naia regarding my fave thing of being single as to my money is my money. I could only deal with a joint checking account if it was only set up for shared expenses only and we both put in 50% of what was due. The rest is up to us. Debt and all!

Ufi 03-02-2009 08:40 PM

Hey, that sounds like a possible prospect! Have fun with it.

I'm contemplating home ownership. Scary stuff. Lots to think about, especially since I'm about as handy as a turnip.

Back2Basics 03-09-2009 12:29 AM

Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this site-- and thought I'd check out more of the threads going on here and figure this one would be rather fitting! I am 35 and a single mom to a 4 year old girl-- and I've been single for a few years and just starting to think about heading back into the dating world. If my daughter had her way, she'd have me married off to any guy that is not married...it makes for interesting shopping at Target and the grocery store, when asks LOUDLY if "THAT guy is married"? Ugh... I figure that is a good sign, she's ready for me to let someone in :)
I joined this site initially to get motivated on working out/dieting...but, think I could also use some girl talk on the whole dating sh-bang again!

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