[grneyegrl]

Hi everyone, I am new to the site and thought this group looked interesting. Everyone I know is married with kids, looking for people who understand how it is not to be.

In response to Jen-Jen. I just started out and this is the first time I have tried to lose weight. I dread dealing with the attention - good and bad. One of my friends suggested saying you have dropped a size or two. That is vague enough. Another suggested turning the question into a compliment and don't answer anything. Just thank the person for noticing.

[jenjen]

Hey gang! I just don't know where the time goes.

Jules, I sometimes self-sabatoge...especially on weekends. I tend to revert to bad habits--ordering pizza, buying ice cream, etc. I've been doing better. I've started doing challenges, which helps me become more accountable.

Sapphdia, What a great attitude! I'm trying to break out of my shell. I venture out on my own more than I have been. I used to go to movies, restaurants, museums, whatever by myself, but over the last couple of years, I stopped. Now, I'm trying to get back into being active--if there's something I want to do & no one else does, I'm trying to go by myself.

Grneyegrl, I totally agree. I try to down-play it some, but sometimes people just go on & on. I just makes me uncomfortable.

I've been eating well & excercising. So far, I've lost 32 pounds. Last weekend I went "shopping" in the back of my closet. I found some great clothes that actually fit now. Yesterday I wore one of my "new" dresses, and everyone raved. It was a bit embarrassing, but also flattering. Oh, and another victory is that a couple of rings ALMOST fit. I haven't been able to wear them in years. Hopefully, after the next 5-10 pounds they'll slide on easily.

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll try to check in & write more often!

[JenJen76]

Hey all, iam 31 & single too, never been married or engaged,no kids. Iam in the mind set that i will be single forever cause men suck!! Iam not willing to give in and do things they like or want me to do cause i have anxiety issues and hate driving to wherever they live. SOUNDS silly but true, just like i hate movies... I dunno but being lonely sucks, iam trying now to focus on me & fit my problems first before i start looking 4 a man...

[ViolinJenn]

Hello Ladies!

I thought I'd give this thread a little CPR!

So when I last left you...*insert cheeze soap opera music*...

It was March....

I was telling you about that Chemist I had met on an online dating site. He had emailed me through the service on a Friday, but I had been sick..again....and didn't get the message till Monday am, but by Monday evening when I replied sadly his profile had come down in that short time span. The service said I can still communicate with him, but I don't think he had gotten any of the messages I sent. His last email was "Hey good looking". He would have had to log back in to get them. I pulled my profile off shortly after. I only wanted to get to know him. So lately, quite randomly he's been on my mind! Badly! I believe that there is a reason for everything, even this. There is a reason that we met at that time and a reason for the result. We were at complete ends of the spectrums...I was EXTREMELY stressed out *(I've since done a lot of thinking and cleared off alot of stuff from the "Priority" pile.) and he was a bit bored with his life at the moment. Right two people, just the wrong time. I have a bad case of "Charlie on the brain now" I miss getting to know him. I guess it's not having any closure. If we had met and gone out a few times and it just wasn't there then fine, but it was abrupt..ya know. I go on the site every so often and do a free search to see if he pop's up. But...I have a feeling I'll never cross paths with him again.

I even thought it was a great idea to buy a fish and name it Charlie to try and get some closure!!

Anyhoo....I'm still working out at the gym, but I'm now working out on my own. No trainer. My contract came due and I just didn't have the funds with this wonderfully crappy economy we have. But I did pay attention and ask questions so I know that I can do this!!!


So how's everyone?

Come on Ladies...let get moving and lose those pounds!!!:li fter:

[emeraldjules]

I am with you on the never married, never had children...
Actually had a man (my currently boyfriend - but not for long) tell me recently that we could get married just as soon as I lost all the weight. I'm like, WHAT?!

Yeah so I'm 37 not seeing that children are going to happen before 40 and most likely not happening after I hit the big 4-0...so the weight loss is for me. I'm feeling a little jilted today. Maybe I'll be cheerier tomorrow.

Keep up the woohooo moments and maybe we can cheer each other on and give each other a on those down days.

cheers!

[emeraldjules]

Originally Posted by ViolinJenn

Hello Ladies!

I was telling you about that Chemist I had met on an online dating site. He had emailed me through the service on a Friday, but I had been sick..again....and didn't get the message till Monday am, but by Monday evening when I replied sadly his profile had come down in that short time span. The service said I can still communicate with him, but I don't think he had gotten any of the messages I sent. His last email was "Hey good looking".

From my own experiences Jenn, he was probably a scammer and that was why he was down so quickly. It is a possibility.

[jenjen]

Hey Gang! Sorry I've been away from this thread for so long.

Jenn, I think a lot of it has to do w/closure & only having "positive" experiences. If there was some negativity it would be easy to tell yourself that your better off without him!

Jules, welcome. Okay, to be brutally honest---kick that guy to the curb!!! Seriously. If he doesn't love you for who you are, then he doesn't deserve you.

I've been doing a lot of self-reflection recently. The whole "what do I want to do with my life?" questioning. I think I'm going through some sort of midlife crisis at 36! I like my job, but I'm not passionate about it. I want to LOVE LOVE LOVE my job. I feel like I may need a serious career change.

I'm still exercising, but eating hasn't been the greatest the past couple of weeks. I'm maintaining, but again I feel so burned out...

I'm so glad the weekend is around the corner. Have a great one. Maybe we can breathe some life back into this thread!

[jollygirl]

Hi all. I am 37, single, never married. Used work to keep me too busy to meet others, and my weight as an excuse - "See, nobody likes a fat girl."

Jenjen, it is never too late for a serious career change. I work in human services, and last year decided I wanted to take it into the legal area. I start law school in August

I don't know if I am in the middle of a mid life crisis, nervous breakdown, or finally freeing myself from unnecessary baggage. But I applied and got accepted to law school, got a tatoo, ran a sprint triathlon 2 weeks ago, lost 45 pounds so far, and am training for a 1/2 marathon. I am getting more physically active, and really assessing my life - what is important to me, and what is holding me to what doesn't work anymore. I am really thinking I want to get a violin!!

Anyway, hope I can join in, as I continue to work to lose the weight, and the chip on my shoulder, and discover who I can be.

[emeraldjules]

thanks jenjen...i'm almost ready to drop kick to the curb...next comment and he's toast!

[jenjen]

Hey Gang,

Don't know about y'all but I'm glad the weekend is around the corner.

Jollygirl, Welcome! I think we may have been separated at birth. Congrats on law school. That's so awesome. I actually tossed around the idea of law school for a while. I wanted to go into healthcare law. But, what I really want is a bakery! When I reach goal, I plan on getting a tatoo.

Jules, I'm glad your evaluating your relationship. It's sort of funny, but I've never had a boyfriend when I was thin. Even now, one of my guy friends (we dated for a while) who's totally supportive of my efforts to lose weight keeps telling me, "Don't change who you are because you're already awesome!" What an ego boost.

I have a busy weekend ahead. I have to bake a cake for my friend's birthday & I also want to make some marshmallows for my nephews who I'll see next week. Sunday, I'm going to get a pedicure--which was my 25 pound reward. I'm so excited. I rarely get pedicures & I feel like they are so indulgent. I also have to take my "fat clothes" to a thrift store that supports a women's crisis center. I hope they'll be able to put them to good use. I have business suits that I never wore & still have tags on them!

Happy Friday everyone & have a great weekend if I'm not able to check back in.

[jollygirl]

Of course pedicures are indulgent. That's the point. Particularly for those of us who emotional eat, food = love. You have to find other ways to love yourself. I set markers for the BIG weights - when I hit 250 I got a mani/pedi. 225 was a facial. When I get to 200, a massage. And $100 shopping or salon spree for 175. That's the fun Jenjen.

[ViolinJenn]

Hi Ladies!

Well as for the chemist on the brain, you were right. He probably was a player and I was able to make peace with it. LOL...I wrote a letter that pretty much verbaly tore him to shreds then I rolled it up....set on fire and watched it but in a dish pan full of water! It was nice way to close that off. I've developed a stronger belief that life will put you where you need to be when you need to be there...and not a moment sooner. When the time is right for us to cross paths...whoever he maybe....I've given control and destiny to life, nature and God.

Jollygirl-Welcome!
Congrats on Law School!

I'm 34 and returning to school this Fall as well! Part time one class at a time. I recieved my Associates Degree in Accounting from Community College in Dec of 95. I've been working since then or as I like to say, I just spent 13 years in the college of LIFE. I transfered my Associates to Temple University in Philadelphia! I'll finish up my Bachelor's in Accounting and then hopefully go on to Grad School at Temple then at least attempt the CPA exam. I'm feeling really anxious and freaked out since it's been 13years.


It's never too late to start something that make you a better individual in anyway!


I have about 20lbs till left till I hit my goal weight. I'm at the 91lb marker now. When I hit 95lbs lost, I'm going to reward myself with Season Two of Criminal Minds and a tee-shirt I found on the internet that says "Behind Every Successful Woman...is Herself". It fits every aspect of my life...weight loss, working out and school. For the 100lb mark I want to mark that with something special. I decided I wanted something that will last forever that I can use everyday. I settled on a sterling silver, emerald ring with diamond chip accents. I'm still looking at jewelry stores to find the design I want though, but I really like this onehttp://www.helzberg.com/product/oval...by=newArrivals . The Goal 110lb mark...well I'm still working on that reward. Maybe sterling silver emerald stud earrings and a pendant to match my ring?

Emerald is my birthstone. So I figured that was a good choice of stone because I can wear it with anything!

Have a good weekend! Don't forget to

[jollygirl]

Hey, great to hear from someone! First off Jenn, way to go. You have come so far! I am at that almost midway point, where typically I self destruct. All those old tapes start playing, yadda yadda yadda. But, I refuse to let it. Yes, I have not had the greatest week. PMS, flooding keeping me from reaching my gym, and some poor food choices. But, I am still committed to being the best me I can be. I am proud of what I have accomplished so far. As of today's weigh in - I have lost 50 pounds since March! I have already registered for a half marathon my sister is helping me train for, so I can't give up now.

I love the t-shirt. Where did you find it?

OK. Off to do yoga, I think. Have a great day all.

[carol2208]

Hi guys !
It´s great to see such a thread, I´m an almost thirty year old, single, never been married or had a long term relationship girl, so I hope you´ll allow me to post here as well !

Jollygirl, I´m also training for a half-marathon in october, I´m trying to run everyday, changing the type of training I do, usually is intervals on weekdays and a longer run on weekends, I´m really looking forward to the half-marathon. Are you running any other races before the half-marathon ? I´ve decided to do a 10-k mid august, just to see how I´m evolving...

On another topic, I hate the effect that men have on me, and how they can throw me completely off base... I fell head over hills for a guy that lives in another country, we met twice for a week while we were both travelling, it was pretty obvious that he didn´t want anything more, but it´s very hard for me to let go, when I was finally getting over him, he reapears, but just to mess with me and now it´s the same process all over again... and everytime I go through this, what pisses me off the most, is that it´s my eating that suffers, I always end up gaining weigh in the process...

Arrrr, I need a vacation from all the drama...

[Persistent Pam]

Hello Everyone. I was in this group b4 briefly and got sidetracked...moved and stress...I really enjoyed it b4 so now I'm going to try and write regularly. To those who don't remember me. I am Persistent Pam and live in toronto. I'm out of work. Recently got a freelance contract. Great money...not tons of work yet. Just praying that everything works out. Moved to a condo down by the water. Have a great view...Enjoyed it alot at first and now obcessing. I've been doing a lot of meditating and writing. I have lost weight. Went from 165 to 145. However I am a bulimic...so it's not over. and I want to get over my fears of food and getting fat and the bingeing. I had a large binge yesterday.

I think it was a result of past stuff coming up. I'm reading this book by Geneen Roth and she says when every you feel afraid of things you need to "go back" and so when you're upset about somthing she says "how old are you".....Subconciously I went back to the age I was when "itimacy" became blocked...I was binging yesterday and the day b4. But this morning I had this image of me standing as a little girl and my mother yelling at me. For some reason in my mind...I was alone in a white/gray expanse and my mother wasn't visable...just this spirit of hate and yelling.

In the image in my mind I saw myself feel a need for her love and want to give love to her and then this onslaught of hate and yelling...and then I felt completely and utterly alone. and Lost. I could feel myself pull away from life and visibly shut down...I know I always feel lonely and I knew this loneliness didn't have to deal with people. And I think this morn helped me to see where this lonliness really originates from. I cried for about 1/2 and hour and really felt and experienced and held this situation in my awareness. then I wrote about it.

And I'm writing here about it. I'm very excited. Everytime I have a huge cry I'm releasing pain and the compulsion to eat. I will keep you posted about if I make it through today...I hope and pray.