[FitGirlyGirl]

I am planning on attending my first Over Eaters Anonymous meeting tonight. From July until now I have been driven by fear because of being diagnosed as diabetic in July. I am scared to death that now that my lab results are showing good numbers I will lose my drive and go back to my old ways. I wanted to binge so bad last night and I almost devoured the second half of my hubby's cookie dough - I had it in my hand! I think I need some irl support. Hubby is very supportive and doing the best he can, but he doesn't know what it's like since he effortlessly keeps a 31-32 inch waist. I'm very nervous though since I also have peoplephobia (sorry, the real word for that has slipped my mind at the moment in my terror). I am terrified. I am scared not to go and I am scared to go. Has anyone ever been to an OEA meeting or something similar? If so, can you tell me what it's like? If anyone else has "peoplephobia" and has managed to get around it could you maybe give me some pointers. I used to not be like this, I used to love people and I was outgoing, then I got a bit shy, and now I can't even hold down a job and I have difficulty leaving the house without my hubby. I don't want to be that way, I want a normal life, but I am so scared. I figure if I can manage to do this it will help with both things, the fear of the people and the food issues, but I don't know if I can do this. I'm sitting here with tears pouring down my face and shaking just thinking about it. It would also mean either skipping the gym and my C25K or going to the gym without hubby too. I have 5 1/2 hours before the meeting starts. Help!!! I'm sorry this post is so rambly, I'm not very coherent when I'm scared.

[CLCSC145]

Usually there is a name and number given for the organizer of the meeting. You might want to call and tell them you are new and would appreciate someone meeting with you a few minutes early to give you the lay of the land. It will make you feel even more comfortable there if you know what to expect. I did and they were so nice and it really helped me not be so scared. I went a few times (it wasn't for me, but it definitely wasn't a bad experience) and it's helpful to be around others struggling as you are as well as those who have been successful at overcoming their food issues.

You don't have to say a thing at the meeting. They will ask if there is anyone new at the meeting and if you raise your hand and say your name, I think they will send around an envelope that everyone will write their name and number on so you can call if you need support. In the envelope are some flyers to help you understand the program. You are welcome to share your experience and why you are there if you want, but you don't have to if you don't want to. They pass around a basket to collect money to support the group (rent for the space, etc.), but as a new person you are not expected to contribute for the first few times. There should be a table with books for sale if you want to do the program. There are several types of meetings so you will want to try each of them before you decide it OA is for you. I think it's great that you are taking this step! Especially since you are shy around strangers. Just remember, everyone there was new and nervous once too so you fit right in!

[bcort]

The first time is always hardest, right? You can do it. Congratulations for not eating the extra cookie dough! You can do it!

[FitGirlyGirl]

I tried to go, got myself all talked into it. I get there and it's been canceled because of weather. So now I have to try to talk myself into it all over again next week and hope that I don't eat an entire buffet before then.

[CLCSC145]

Oh rats! Did you know they have online ones too? Maybe that would be a good place to start.