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Old 09-21-2009, 10:49 AM   #2
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iaradajnos's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Boston area
Posts: 307

S/C/G: 177/153/135

Height: 5' 4.5"


I'm so glad for your reflections outside today. You're really speaking to my own condition and thoughts.

I'm also off-line for injuries and have been really struggling with the negative feed-back loop. You gave nice perspective and clarification.

I got so close to my goal weight just before vacation--which was a family trip back to my native state for our annual visit to dad, sisters, nieces, aunt, cousins, etc. I was so optomistic and thrilled. I've never reached this weight. Never--in any attempt whatsoever to lose weight.

Vacation was a reminder that I can't look for validation from others for my own success ('cause it ain't coming too soon from sisters who feel their fat sister is skinnier than them). I also have to find the focus to stay my original goal--healthy. (I never actually was trying to get skinny--just lose enough weight to stop the joint pain in my lower limbs.)

I realize now that carbs are comforting when I get anxious. That's a real good point. I just want to eat and eat and eat.

Whole foods for me are my only salvation. I just steamed up my broccoli last night and have still my kasha ready from the other night's big batch. I just love eating this way. So now, when I'm eating horrible foods, I'm clearly feeding another form of me--but NOT the one I want to be.

I have a choice: feed the little chubby girl who has lots of negative thoughts or feed the healthy vibrant woman who's looking at the positive inside myself and the others around me.
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