Need advice: when friends ask…”How did you do it?” - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

daniela · 09-17-2009, 10:26 AM

Hi ladies!

I’ve had multipe girlfriends on Facbook message me asking the infamous question “How did you do it?” Quick background…I grew up in NY but left for the Army a couple years after HS and never went back, so I’ve caught up with many friends via FB, which has been pretty cool. I have a photo album on there with my weight loss pics, started it for family but soon had many old girlfriend giving me encouragement and compliments. It’s been real nice.

So back to my question…how do you answer that question? Do you just give them an overview? Go into details? How much to you tell someone? I’ve kind of done both in the past. A couple of friends messaged back saying thanks or ask more questions, I’ve had one girl tell me one of my tips helped her months later but then there are some friends that never wrote back. No thanks, no nothing…maybe it was too overwhelming to hear that I don’t have a magic weight loss pill LOL

I think we all think our way is the best (the best for us) but that doesn’t mean our plan is going to work for everyone, I know that. But I do want to share what I do. I like being able to help someone and if just one of the things I do helps someone else that’s great!

Love to hear your input…

nelie · 09-17-2009, 10:34 AM

I go with short and simple unless they really really want to know. "Eating better and exercising more". Honestly, that usually will shut up 99% of the people. Last time I told someone that, they told me that they were lazy and that sounded like it would require effort so they weren't interested.

daniela · 09-17-2009, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelie

I go with short and simple unless they really really want to know. "Eating better and exercising more". Honestly, that usually will shut up 99% of the people. Last time I told someone that, they told me that they were lazy and that sounded like it would require effort so they weren't interested.

HAHA excellent advice. Short and sweet and if they ask follow up questions then offer more info. Even a year later I'm still excited about my new lifestyle and it's hard sometimes for me to just shut up and not want to talk about it

Ryanne · 09-17-2009, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelie

I go with short and simple unless they really really want to know. "Eating better and exercising more". Honestly, that usually will shut up 99% of the people. Last time I told someone that, they told me that they were lazy and that sounded like it would require effort so they weren't interested.

Isn't that the truth...so funny!

FromFat2Fit · 09-17-2009, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniela

HAHA excellent advice. Short and sweet and if they ask follow up questions then offer more info. Even a year later I'm still excited about my new lifestyle and it's hard sometimes for me to just shut up and not want to talk about it

I think it is fine that you talk about it in depth. I know that I would be one of the people that would ask questions. I think some people ask because they assume you had surgery or something along those lines, and then when they find out you didn't they are no longer interested. I have always been an inquisitive person. I could probably sit and listen to someone tell me EVERYTHING they did. Like every meal they ate, every exercise, etc. It is like they have the key to tons of knowledge in my book.

If you are comfortable talking about it, TALK AWAY!

nelie · 09-17-2009, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FromFat2Fit

I think it is fine that you talk about it in depth. I know that I would be one of the people that would ask questions. I think some people ask because they assume you had surgery or something along those lines, and then when they find out you didn't they are no longer interested. I have always been an inquisitive person. I could probably sit and listen to someone tell me EVERYTHING they did. Like every meal they ate, every exercise, etc. It is like they have the key to tons of knowledge in my book.

If you are comfortable talking about it, TALK AWAY!

And I should say that I don't mean to discourage someone from talking about it. From my experience and those of others, most people really have no interest in listening if it isn't a quick fix solution. I used to get excited when people would ask me and I'd start giving details only to find that they didn't want details if it meant any effort.

If someone is truly interested though, I say go ahead and give details.

FromFat2Fit · 09-17-2009, 12:00 PM

Nelie I knew that you were not discouraging anyone from talking about it. The sad thing is that most only want the "quick fix". I guess I am just nosey...so I want to know everything! I would be one of those that would drive people crazy with questions.

beerab · 09-17-2009, 12:01 PM

You can always copy and paste your initial response or make a post and direct people to it on your FB? (I don't have FB don't know how it works exactly).

TaraLee · 09-17-2009, 12:03 PM

I'd love to know... are you counting calories or is it a specific diet your doing?
You look AMAZING!!

pintobean · 09-17-2009, 12:03 PM

I think it would be best to keep it short and simple initially with an option to ask you questions if they have any. Like Nelie said, it would weed out lot of the folks, if they're not ready yet, when they find out it is all about hard work and eating right for life. Also, there's a possibility that someone might feel overwhelmed with information overload. But, if someone *really* wanted to know and asked you questions then go in details as to what worked for you and what didn't etc. HTH

OT - I saw your progress pictures, you look amazing!! I recently started weight training and I know I have a long road ahead to feel and see any muscle definition.

daniela · 09-17-2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FromFat2Fit

I think it is fine that you talk about it in depth. I know that I would be one of the people that would ask questions. I think some people ask because they assume you had surgery or something along those lines, and then when they find out you didn't they are no longer interested. I have always been an inquisitive person. I could probably sit and listen to someone tell me EVERYTHING they did. Like every meal they ate, every exercise, etc. It is like they have the key to tons of knowledge in my book.

If you are comfortable talking about it, TALK AWAY!

I don't mind talking about all the details to someone that wants to hear it. I just think I jumped the gun in the past when I should have just said I did X, Y, Z...if you want details let me know & I'll share.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelie

From my experience and those of others, most people really have no interest in listening if it isn't a quick fix solution. I used to get excited when people would ask me and I'd start giving details only to find that they didn't want details if it meant any effort.

Yes! This is exactly why I posted asking for advice. I'm happy to share I just don't want to be overly obnoxious about my response and then get disappointed when I don't here back from them.

I hate to say it but I get the nothing response more from my very overweight friends then those just looking to lose 10-20 lbs. When I was 240 I was blown away by someone losing a great deal of weight without surgery and even if they told me how they did it, I'm not sure it would have helped me because I wasn't truly ready. On the other hand girlfriends that are just looking to lose a little weight seem to ask more questions but still don't take my advice about diet. They eat so little during the week, workout like nuts, drink on the weekends, eat crap, and then wonder why they can't lose the last 10 lbs LOL

Sometimes it's easier to be quiet then to be the know it all workout-diet guru...I don't want to be the know it all (even when I disagree with what they are doing)...not cool

daniela · 09-17-2009, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FromFat2Fit

Nelie I knew that you were not discouraging anyone from talking about it. The sad thing is that most only want the "quick fix". I guess I am just nosey...so I want to know everything! I would be one of those that would drive people crazy with questions.

I don't think you would be driving someone crazy if they are into sharing...it's nice when friends show an interest in something you are pationate about. My cube mate at work is a long time marathon runner and I ask him questions ALL the time! I feel like I'm being annoying sometimes but I think he likes it that someone is interested and he's got great advice!

Quote:

Originally Posted by beerab

You can always copy and paste your initial response or make a post and direct people to it on your FB? (I don't have FB don't know how it works exactly).

Quote:

Originally Posted by TaraLee

I'd love to know... are you counting calories or is it a specific diet your doing?
You look AMAZING!!

I dig this idea Beerab...I'm going to write up a goal post soon since next week is my 1yr weight loss anniversary. I've kind of changed my goal and it's not about the scale anymore...it's gonna take me at least another year to get to my goal physique. I want to share my whole story (yes, details hehe) with all you awesome 3FC'ers. And then I can link that post to my FB photo album page so that my FB friends can read my story too.

Thanks TaraLee! Yes, I count calories and still food journal one year later.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pintobean

I think it would be best to keep it short and simple initially with an option to ask you questions if they have any. Like Nelie said, it would weed out lot of the folks, if they're not ready yet, when they find out it is all about hard work and eating right for life. Also, there's a possibility that someone might feel overwhelmed with information overload. But, if someone *really* wanted to know and asked you questions then go in details as to what worked for you and what didn't etc. HTH

OT - I saw your progress pictures, you look amazing!! I recently started weight training and I know I have a long road ahead to feel and see any muscle definition.

Agreed Pintobean, especially on the part of being overwhelmed and information overload. If I start blabbering about macros I'm sure some people are like this girl is crazy!

Thank you much for the complement

I've been weight training since Feb and I started getting serious about it and lifting heavy at the end of July. You'll see changes, stick with it

Be sure to take measurements to track your progress, my weight loss has SLOWED down but I can see a big difference in body composition. I know I wouldn't be this "small" looking at 150 without the weight lifting.

Slashnl · 09-17-2009, 01:05 PM

Oh my goodness! I have nothing to add to the advice you have been given, but I wanted to comment on your progress pictures and your avatar. Your muscle tone is amazing. I'm so impressed. I'm working on getting that muscle tone because I think it makes you look incredible. Congrats!

Trazey34 · 09-17-2009, 01:20 PM

I always say "I stopped eating like a linebacker"

FromFat2Fit · 09-17-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trazey34

I always say "I stopped eating like a linebacker"

I LOVE THAT RESPONSE!