[salsa chip]

I have control issues

Someone here has a sig file with a quote which goes something like "If you want something you've never had, you must be prepared do something you've never done."

For me, my weight loss is taking control of part of my life - but, as I'm learning, in a non-control-freak way. Today I learnt to see a particular way in which this is happening.

You may recall a thread I began earlier this week about feeling tired and such: some people said I might be underestimating my activity level (as well as the fatigue being a side-effect of my anti-d). I realised that when I wake up in the mornings I can "feel" "light" or "heavy", and that based on this I would have an "idea" as to whether my weight that day (I weigh daily, but accept daily fluctuations as a face of life) would be up or down.

Those "feelings" are not an accurate indicator.

Over the past couple of days I've been eating more (whilst still trying my best to write everything down - my personal trainer wants to see what I eat). In the mornings I've been "feeling" "heavy"...and yet I've been losing weight.

I think in the past I've had this idea that in the mornings if I "felt" "light" (i.e., hungry and empty), it meant I had lost weight. Conversely, if I "felt" "heavy", I was at the same weight or had gained - and thus often wouldn't dare weigh myself.

Now that I'm in a regular pattern of weighing myself each day, and understand (due in no small part to this fantastic forum!) that weight goes up and down, I'm able to see that I can "feel" "full" and still be on a healthy weight loss curve.

Which is new, unexpected...that is, not something I could "control" based on my past experience. And it's kind of funny to me that my taking control of my weight and health involves this having to let go of those old "feelings" and what they "mean" - but then, as I said, I'm a control freak (my doc said as much!), so I suppose this is par for the course, huh?

Ok, thanks for reading this far if you have Just some thoughts mulling over in my mind at the moment. Input would be appreciated if you'd like to share.

[Alana in Canada]

I've never felt "light" or "heavy" when I wake up. That's new to me.

I find it interesting though, that daily weighing, that old bugaboo of weight loss, has taught you something useful and worthwhile. I'm really gald you find you are still losing weight in spite of these waking feelings: I find feelings to be an extremely poor basis for almost everything.

(But then I have control issues, too, lol!)

[starfishkitty]

No.... I TOTALLY feel lighter in the morning, and even look thinner too. *shrug* I know what you mean.... not sure why though.

Keep at it chica! Put your control issues to where they are of good use! hehe

[salsa chip]

I think it was more like I'd wake up with "Oh, my stomach feels really really empty, I'm bound to have lost weight." And vice versa if I woke up feeling full(ish) - only then I'd often not weigh myself, because I'd assume I'd gone up and I didn't want to see the cold hard proof of it.

But this week I've been eating more because of my activity levels. My father's visiting so I haven't been doing my "normal" exercise, but I have been cycling round as normal, and he and I have been walking all over the place. We've been eating where we've been, though once I cooked for him here at my place. And I'm still losing weight.

I guess I am taking control of my body and weight...but I'm letting go of my old misconceptions of how that "has" to happen, and how I would "feel" as it happens.

I hope this is making sense!

[findingfawn]

I'm glad it seems like you are finding your nitch.

I have never associated the feeling full or empty with my weight really, but I do understand what you are saying.

That morning scale thing is very important to me.. it really helps keep me on track if I know I have to face the scale the next day, and also sets my mind on my goal first thing every day.

[dragonwoman64]

I signed up at sparkpeople, and got an email from one of my groups saying essentially something along the lines of not being afraid of trying different things, and or new ways of approaching weight loss. I can have a strong "rut" way of thinking. I think I'd benefit from more flexibility and being open with the whole process. I hadn't thought too much about it in quite that way before, interesting.

[Bunnababy]

I understand what you are saying about the full weight vs. empty weight. I deal with that too. Interesting to have someone put it in writing though.

[salsa chip]

Talking about control issues and letting go...

...I just got back from a session with my personal trainer. Today's crazy busy so I hadn't eaten so much, so it was hard hard work. And afterwards we were talking about nutrition. And he says...

..."You and I need to make a deal that you're not going to weigh yourself at home."

ARRRRRGH!!! I'm PETRIFIED of this! I sat there and looked at him like he'd grown an extra head. Then I started hurling mild abuse at him (mainly variations on a "You're so MEAN!" theme ). He didn't back down. I promised I'd try it for a week.

He says I'll be weighed once every two weeks at the gym, so my participation in the Valentine's Vixen challenge will be cut by half (sorry ladies). His reckoning is that I attach too much importance to my daily weigh-ins (I protested otherwise...but he's stubborn), and that the yay-factor of having lost weight will be intenser (his word) if I see a bigger drop once a fortnight.

Hmpf.

I'm going to act like a spoilt kid for the next 15 minutes or so, then I'll chalk it up to having to let go of control over stuff :P

[Ryanne]

I need to let go of that one, too...and it will be beneficial for me to do so. I know my husband only weighs once a week and he is always too happy to see a significant drop. I cheer myself on a one pound drop...I actually lost two this week, but maybe it would have been more fun to see it all at once for my weekly weigh in than already knowing. IDK.... but hey, I'm willing to try, it will only free my mind up more than what I am already doing.