[Lyn2007]

I am starting to wonder if the reason I have been so stalled out on weight loss is just plain laziness. I don't like to think of myself as lazy. I spent most of my adult life as a single mom, I have five children, and I raised them all pretty much by myself. I fixed up my home. I worked, sometimes several jobs, and went to college full time. I barely had a minute to myself much less time to be lazy.

BUT...

I was reading on here about committment vs motivation. People talk about making the weight loss and exercise into just part of a daily routine, like a job. Just something you do like brushing your teeth or making the bed.

Except I slack on so much stuff nowadays, I wonder if it's just sheer laziness. I let the dishes stack in the sink overnight because I don't feel like washing them. I never make the bed (because ya know, it'll just get messed up again at night, and no one sees it but me). I hate to admit it but sometimes I even skip the teethbrushing. Can't do that too much because my gums start to bleed. But really... ugh!

So this leads to me being "too tired" to exercise, because I'd rather sit and watch TV. And it's easier to grab a junky processed microwave food than to chop veggies and grill chicken. In some ways it is just easier to be fat. But I don't want that. I want to be fit and healthy and lose this weight. Theres a constant emotional and mental battle. But maybe I am just being lazy.

Thoughts?

[TraceyElaine]

I thought you were typig the words right out of my own brain for a minute there. I was there to, I think alot of us were. I mean i work 2 jobs at any given time, I just finished school, I have 4 well taken care of kids, my home is usualy nice and tidy. But when it came to taking care of myself like my hair, teeth, my bed, my cloths, my WEIGHT. It was at the bottom of the list. I don't think it is a matter of lazy I think it is a matter of priority.

I would never let my kids go without their teeth brushed or wear rags. But it was fine for me. I think it is just so easy to let your own needs fall to the side when you are so depended on by others. The trick is making yourself a priority.

It's not an easy task. It's pretty darn difficult at first. And there are still days I don't make my bed but there are less days that I don't take care of my health. Just think, If you don't take care of you, then who is going to do all the things you do for everyone else when you are too sick to do them?

[JayEll]

Hi Lyn2007. I think "laziness" is an easy word to reach for when we feel too tired for some things, but it may be something else. Like, "exhaustion"? Sounds like for most of your life you've been working really hard being the breadwinner and caregiver and just about everything else.

I agree with TraceyElaine--it's priorities. If you come last on the list, then you are what gets dropped. If everyone else's needs come first, you spend all your energy on those things with little left for you.

Do you remember the instructions for cabin depressurization in an airplane? When those masks drop down? It's something like, "Make sure your own mask is in place before you try to help others." I think this applies to a lot of things. Make sure you aren't literally sacrificing yourself.

And just one more note--some microwave dinners are better than others. There is nothing wrong with convenience as long as it helps you with your plan. I have relied on Lean Cuisines, for example, throughout my weight loss, although I also grill the chicken and cook vegetables. So, don't feel like you have to be a perfect cook on top of everything else.

Good luck, Lyn!
Jay

[rockinrobin]

You've got two great responses already. Wow the ladies are sharp this morning.

I think you have to start thinking long term here, instead of short term. Yes, it's easier to be fat in the short term. The very short term. It requires less immediate at the moment work. It's easier (quicker) to grab a muffin then to cut up a salad. It's easier (quicker) to grab a couple of cookies or crackers then to make sure there's fresh produce in the house. It's easier (requires less physical effort) to sit on the couch then to go for a brisk walk. But in the long term it's not so easy at all. I had a very, very difficult time BEING fat. Although I didn't BECOME fat overnight, it did take *some* time. But BEING fat WAS/IS very, very hard to be. I think, no make that I know for sure, it's an easier life being a healthy weight. Right off the bat - less worries. Then there's more mobility, more energy, more stamina, more self esteem, more self respect, more self confidence, higher productivity level, easier clothes shopping and on and on. All these things just make life better, simpler, more enjoyable and EASIER. And because I am that healthy weight now, I am a better friend, daughter, wife, citizen, worker, homemaker, and yes - mother. For me, it just became too hard to remain fat. It affected every area of my life, although I didn't know it. Or maybe I really did deep down.

Any *work* required to get slim and stay slim is all VERY, VERY gratifying and has a HUGE-TREMENDOUS-GIGANTIC payoff. Any time spent getting and staying slim is time VERY well spent.

I wonder if it could be a case of you just don't know what you're missing. I recently mentioned in a thread somewhere here, that I knew being slim would be wonderful, but I hadn't a clue it would be THIS wonderful. Because it's surpassed any expectations I ever had. I never realized that it would encompass each and every aspect of my life. Going to the bank is easier and more enjoyable, as is doing all errands, going shopping, cleaning the house, doing the bills, going to the dentist, getting dressed, doing the laundry. You name it - it's more enjoyable - and easier.

Things that matter like ones health (weight), things that are most important DO require work, time, thought and effort. And yes it does require that all important commitment. Doing it whether you feel like it or not. But eventually it DOES become just "what you do" and routine and you wouldn't have it any other way.

I personally DID have to make my health, my weight a number one priority. It couldn't occur until I did. It just had to MATTER that much to me. And when it did, when I wanted it so much, so badly, then I was no longer *lazy* about doing whatever it was that needed to be done to make it happen. I was willing to do what was required, what was necessary.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this or if this addressed your question or not. But you do matter and you do count and you do deserve to have the best life possible. There's no reason in the world to settle for second best when first best is well within your reach.

[SkinnyJeansInWaiting]

Lyn - could it be depression? I suffer all the same things but I have clinical depression that leads to a lot of it. I have found that remaining consistent with morning exercise and doing bursts of activity during the day lessens the depression and I am less "lazy" about things because I feel better. it's like a cloud falls over my head and I just have no interest in doing anything. When I am not depressed I am a totally different person.

Robin--Thank you so much for posting. I needed to hear a lot of what you said and am going to reread and reread that post to soak it up. I felt you were speaking to me, too.

[WhitePicketFences]

Originally Posted by rockinrobin

Going to the bank is easier and more enjoyable, as is doing all errands, going shopping, cleaning the house, doing the bills, going to the dentist, getting dressed, doing the laundry. You name it - it's more enjoyable - and easier.

Oh! I can so relate to this. I know it's a seemingly small thing, but this is so sincere and really struck me. This is exactly how I feel lately!

[thistoo]

I'm with SkinnyJeans -- it sounds like depression. Sure, it's easy when you've got so much going on to de-prioritize yourself, but when you're skimping on basic hygiene, even just occasionally, that's a hint that there's more going on than just 'laziness'.

Any chance of seeing a doctor to talk about trying antidepressants? A brain chemical imbalance can make it pretty hard to deal with even the simplest things, and the fix is often pretty easy.

[Lyn2007]

Those really are some great responses! Thank you so much. I am going to re-read them, right after I ride my bike.

As far as depression... I don't think so. I am pretty happy a good oart of the time. I don't stay in bed or cry a lot or anything. I don't *feel* depressed anyway, except when I look in the mirror sometimes...

I am pretty sure if I could get it together enough to see my weight going steadily down again, I'd feel amazingly happy and satisfied with most aspects of my life.

*edited to add... several years ago I was feeling significantly hopeless and sadder than I do now, went to a doctor and to a counselor, who told me my mood was "situational" and that I did not need medication... I just needed to change my situation. Once I did so, my mood improved dramatically. I suspect this is similar. I am overwhelmed but probably not clinically depressed.

[CJZee]

I just read an article in our local Sunday paper that I am posting here. Motivation.doc (Sorry, I don't know how to get rid of the line breaks in the Word document.) It is about laziness in the workplace, and ways to motivate "lazy" employees.

The thing is -- the reasons listed in the article apply to us too, I think. Why are we so good about raising 5 kids well, yet don't brush our teeth or watch our diet? The article lists 4 reasons for "laziness", but the two that I think apply here are "fear" and "lack of hope" ... which are related I think.

We "fear" that we will not be successful, that we will fail, so we don't want to try and thus realize that failure. As long as we don't try, we can't fail, right? Or we have "tried" before and failed, so we don't want to compound this feeling. That leads to lack of hope (the next thing in the list).

The answer to this, for me, is to redefine success by making the ACTIVITY the success, not the weight loss, so I feel in control. I tell myself if I can do some small, healthy thing every day for a week (or a day!), that is a success. For me, picking some healthy activity helps build confidence. If I lose weight, that’s just gravy (so to speak LOL).

I don’t look at a slow weight loss week and judge myself a failure. I look at my activities and judge myself a success. (Of course, if I wasn’t losing weight, I would change the activities, but they are the things in my control.)

To start, everyone is going to pick something different, but it must be something you haven't been doing, and it’s very important initially to be something that you can stick to so as to build your confidence. And it must be an activity that is measurable and doable in your present mental state (i.e., brush your teeth every morning, have a vegetable at every meal, exercise for 5 minutes a day, make your bed up every morning ... whatever.)

Ultimately, you feel confident enough to put your entire plan in place to lose weight and get healthy. For me, working the plan is motivation, and the weight loss is the benefit. I try not to measure my self-worth with the weight loss (which varies) but with the activity (which I can control).

Keep in mind, again, this article was made for bosses and employees in the workplace, but I think we can apply some of the "fix" strategies to ourselves, too.

[canadia]

I think everyone has said some really smart things. I'm a fairly lazy person myself -- especially when it comes to cooking -- but one thing I've found for exercise is to do it even when you don't want to. I make myself go for a bike ride every day. Almost every day I think, "God, I don't want to do this, I'd rather be watching tv/reading a book/whatever," but once I sit on my bike, I don't think about turning back around. Getting started is the hardest part of exercise.

I suspect my laziness will disappear when it stops being 35 C/100 F outside. But for now, forcing myself seems to work. After three months, on days when I don't go for a ride, I feel off. Riding my bike has become normal and part of my daily routine.

[Lyn2007]

Originally Posted by CJZee

The answer to this, for me, is to redefine success by making the ACTVITY the success, not the weight loss, so I feel in control. I tell myself if I can do some small, healthy thing every day for a week (or a day!), that is a success. For me, picking some healthy activity helps build confidence. If I lose weight, that’s just gravy (so to speak LOL).

This is great! I love this! I am going to do this for the remainer of August INSTEAD of weighing daily. If it helps me stay focused and feel more positive then I will keep this habit! Thanks so much for the suggestion!

Maybe going back to x's or stickers on the calendar for meeting whatever goal (in this case, say, 30 minutes of exercise) will help me

[rockinrobin]

Originally Posted by Lyn2007

This is great! I love this! I am going to do this for the remainer of August INSTEAD of weighing daily. If it helps me stay focused and feel more positive then I will keep this habit! Thanks so much for the suggestion!

Maybe going back to x's or stickers on the calendar for meeting whatever goal (in this case, say, 30 minutes of exercise) will help me

Absolutely. Make a game of it. Challenge yourself. Make it fun. Make it cutesy. Buy yourself a new lipstick if you stay on plan for 7 days. A new nail polish the next 7. Think outside the box. Whatever the heck you've got to do. Pull out all the stops!!!

One other thing, I remember times when I would tell myself, "Okay,I'll just do 5 minutes of exercise. You don't have to do a full workout - just 5 minutes." And before you know it, the five would pass and I'd push myself another 5 and then before you know it - work out complete.

Hey, now that I think of it, was it you that had that great idea of the green X's and the red X's? You even had it in your signature for a time. Sorry, if I'm mistaken.

[Lyn2007]

Originally Posted by rockinrobin

Hey, now that I think of it, was it you that had that great idea of the green X's and the red X's? You even had it in your signature for a time. Sorry, if I'm mistaken.

That was me. I had x's out the wazoo, LOL! After awhile I got tired of it and quit, but I think I am ready to do something similar again

[sprklemajik]

Originally Posted by SkinnyJeansInWaiting

Lyn - could it be depression? I suffer all the same things but I have clinical depression that leads to a lot of it. I have found that remaining consistent with morning exercise and doing bursts of activity during the day lessens the depression and I am less "lazy" about things because I feel better. it's like a cloud falls over my head and I just have no interest in doing anything. When I am not depressed I am a totally different person.

I second the thought that maybe you should spend some time on your mood and taking care of yourself. I know that although I don't have depression serious enough to require medical attention, when things in my life start getting to me I begin to feel down and end up being unwilling to take care of the things in my life (including myself). Journaling helps me, as well as taking some "me" time everyday.