I am just at a loss. How can you have such a burning, unstoppable, desire to FINALLY lose the weight and become healthy, yet someway, somehow you manage to just STOP.
I am sick, and I am tired. I want to be healthy. I want to lose 150 lbs, tone and shape my body, become ACTIVE, and eat a little healthier.
I have been in this same position time and time again . I am really hoping to make friends with some of my fellow 3FC'ers, and stick with my goals.
I am getting depressed over the fact that I am still here just 'talking' instead of 'being there'. The sad part is that when I do my programs, they work...
Sweetie, a lot of us are in the same place as you. I'm guilty of talking a good game and not playing, a lot, for years. For me, there are many nights when I go to bed feeling the same way, after having gotten up in the morning with so much positive steam, looking at the new day with promise. Somehow, at some point in the day, all that positive energy runs through my fingers like sand. Hrmph! I need one of those hugs too!
We have a long road ahead of us. I can't look at the whole route without losing my resolve. I can only look at today. I can only make my plan for today, remind myself what the plan is for today, and try to avoid the things that lead me to losing my resolve during the day.
Surrounding myself with like-minded people really helps. I've tried to eliminate as many saboteurs as possible. That includes people, gateway foods and behaviors (things that lead me to eating off-plan or overeating). I enlist the help of others around me as much as possible (I tell my kids not to share their food with me and not to let me clean their plates for them). I used to live near people with whom I exercised, but since moving recently I have to find new friends.
I lost my first 40 lbs by making everyday changes/adjustments to my diet that I could live with. I was doing great! Then I hit what believed to be the world's longest recorded plateau...one year! I was just stuck between the same two numbers - 320 and 308. I was stressed with personal issues that piled up all at once. I couldn't do it all, and I just got sick of being so focused on losing weight.
I'm still rather sick of it! More recently I've been bouncing between 315 and 308. At some point during my day I set aside my goal and indulge myself with choices that lead me to gaining weight. I made the choice to start on Medifast a few weeks ago, and I was doing so well during the first week, but I indulged over the weekend and had to start all over again. This weekend was going so well, and then I made a stupid choice to have Thai food last night and now I'm bloated like a puffer fish!
I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself, but every time I do, I learn another lesson about myself and my choices, and I get up and start again. The one thing that keeps me going is that the alternative, to give up, is DEFINITELY NOT what I want to do. That's what is preventing me from backsliding and gaining all the weight back, plus more, this time around.
I'm 48 and my bucket list is long enough to wear as a scarf! Losing weight is not even at the top of my list, and I'm not waiting until I cross that item off my list to live life. I'd rather tango with a hot Argentine in Buenos Aires when I'm thinner, but if I knew that this week was going to be my last chance to do it, I wouldn't pass it up.
Let's find more things to enjoy in life, things that create lasting impressions of feeling good. If we're feeling good about ourselves, then we don't have any reason to resort to the old behaviors that got us through some stuff in the past but no longer serve our needs.
Second...I understand where you are coming from. I have been on the "diet" rollar coaster for roughly 17 years now. Always doing great on program and then suddenly quitting. I finally got sick and tired of the way I looked and felt and re-joined WW. I found a leader I really liked, which has made all the difference in the world. Something she said to me just seemed to stick with me (almost like a lightbulb went off). She said "this is a journey and many of have lost our way but eventually we find our way back". This meant the world to me. I found my way back and now I'm not stopping!!! It's taken me OVER 3 months to take of 20lbs but I know that 20lbs is NEVER coming back!!!! I have accepted that I will have some speed bumps and pitfalls along the way as every journey is not a smooth paved road. I have done a lot of soul-searching since I re-started program (and it was hard to accept a lot of things but now I'm committed).
Last but not least, the people on 3fc are so amazing!!!! They have been my greatest motivators!!! Whenever I feel like no one understands what I'm going through all I have to do is come here and I almost immediatley feel better!!!! We can do this TOGETHER!!!!
Hi ladies, I really appreciate the candidacy and you sharing your personal struggles and stories with me. Rena, I have just told myself that I will hit speedbumps and hurdles along this journey, and that's ok... what matters is that I use them as an opportunity to learn and to plan better next time, and not as an excuse to just stop. I deserve to be happy and not have my 'weight issues' dictate how I feel about myself. Georgia, I love the idea about finding more things to enjoy in life. That is very true, and it makes a difference when we have other things to feel good about! Ladies thanks so much!
Oh my, I think if we had the answer to that question -- how to FIX it -- we'd be rich!! I was there too! I don't know exactly what flipped the switch, but one piece of it was I had fallen down the stairs and was in a LOT of pain and was finally willing to make a long term commitment. I could see immobility in my future and felt I would lose my freedom and my life. I was still not sure I could do it long term, but I just took it a day at a time.
This is my personal opinion, but I thought I would share. First, I understand how you feel. I've personally struggled with weight my whole life and during this journey I've regained sections of my weight. So basically I'm not one of those people who like loose 100 pounds in a year lol. I'm in the "struggle" pile with the regain of weight here and there and the struggle to reloose lol.
My personal opinion is that programs like WW (which I've tried before) and counting calories (which is kind of a plan) often can cause people to burn out because they never get out of the dieting frame of mind. Recently I've discovered that at my most happiest moments I was NOT dieting. Not fussing over weight, in fact I was just living my life and I wasn't even counting calories. Sure, I cared about what I was eating, but I didn't go nuts. I didn't write down every single bite, I didn't scold myself if I ate something that wasn't the norm, I just lived and I found I made healthy choices with little effort. I was satisfied and my weight dropped. I've been slowly getting back to the frame of mind and I really believe that IS how one makes a lifestyle change. By that I mean they change their thinking and can live their life in the healthy style they feel is best for them. That is just my experience thus far.
Now I want changes that I can live with and be happy with. I don't like the "all or nothing" attitude and I don't like the "work harder to lose weight" mindset. It doesn't work for me and in fact it just pisses me off in the end because I personally cannot keep that kind of momentum up and to be frank, I don't think most people can. Living and dieting/fussing over weight are two different attitudes. For me the first attitude is positive and realistic while the second one is incredibly negative and stressful.
I do think that programs like WW or whatever are a good thing, don't get me wrong. I think we all need some sort of structure, especially in the beginning of any kind of major change, but I think that change has to totally come from within. That change of lifestyle doesn't come easy for most people and I really do think that is something we all have to face and will ease into when we are ready to. I mean if it was so easy or as easy as "will power" and "do what it takes" then EVERYONE would have success and stick to that success, but it is NOT that easy lol. So don't feel depressed and please feel welcomed! This journey is a life long one and a lot of self discovery and more is on the road. It sounds like you're well on your way, at least to me.
Heather, thanks for sharing! Taking it one day at a time is definitely what I need to do. Jacquie, thank you! My hubby and I 'bicker' when he mentions the word 'diet' and I tell him that I don't 'diet', I am on a 'program', a 'lifestyle' change. Problems that I have had in the past are the fact that WW, counting calories, Curves, etc. is not for me. Lots of people have success on many different programs, but for me I have to do it my way. I actually don't mind working out, but I have those mental roadblocks there because once I stop doing it, I really STOP. I think that maybe if I sign up for like swimming, or some kind of activity it might help me to stick with a healthy exercise regimen. I have had this burning desire lately to be a runner. I know I have a LONG way to go for that, but maybe that's what I can use as a form of motivation. Again thanks so much ladies!
I lost 50 pounds a while back dieting very strictly. I felt so much better, but honestly, hardly anyone noticed. It was sort of an anti-climax. Then I gained it all back. Then I did the on again / off again diet thing where I'd diet until I blew it one night, said to heck with it, then started again on a Monday. Then I had a revelation, which sounds simple after the fact, but never entered my brain before.
I can diet like a mad woman and lose lots of weight, but once I go off diet, it's going to come back. I don't need to diet, I need learn to eat for who I want to be. That means I keep my calories under 1600, because at my dream weight that's how many calories I could eat and easily maintain my weight. If I have a calorie blow out one day, I don't beat myself up. I remind myself that a 2000 calorie day is still a lot less than what I was eating on crazy binge days. Normal sized folks have calorie blow outs now and then. And if I don't beat myself up, I don't give up. I forgive myself and get back on track. It took me a long time to get this size. I don't expect to fix it all in a flash, but I do expect to practice and practice until I get it right
Like many here, I can totally relate. I constantly hated myself for letting myself get to the weight that I did, and questioned why I didn't do something sooner, even though in my mind I wanted it more than anything.
Yes, I wanted it more than anything, but the bottom line is, I was not committed enough to make it happen.
I decided that I could either continue to eat crap and not exercise and be unhappy with myself and not be living life like I wanted, or do something about it. I chose to do something. I really had just had enough of being that way and hiding and avoiding social situations, and decided that it really came down to choices.
I chose a plan that I feel I can live with for the rest of my life. I committed to a "lifestyle change". I figured out that really for me, it's not about just losing the weight, it has to go beyond that .. something I can do for life. I am not moping about depriving myself of certain foods (I used to before). Those bad junky foods have done nothing for me except manipulate me, make me hate myself, and feel bad .. good riddance !
You are absolutely right .. there will be little bumps along the way, but keep your mind clear and focused on what you really want out of this, and have a plan for dealing with the little bumps.
I was feeling a bit depressed last week because I realized that I have been a member here for 10 years !! Regaining and losing, and never ever being one of the ones that got to post a success story. But I'm okay with that now, because I have my mind made up that I can really do this. I'm putting past failures in the past, and looking forward.
Okay, this has turned into a bit of a ramble, but I guess the bottom line is, think about how bad you want this, have a plan to get to your goals, put the past in the past, and come here when you need support and advice.
I too have been a stranger to the site .. well .. not really .. just not posting for ages!! And yup I know exactly what you mean .. in my mind I KNOW what I should be doing .. and i KNOW what Im not supposed to do .. but sometimes just the every day thoughts of keeping on track drove me to where I would give up again and again .. well .. not that I give up ... just take the odd detour and dont ask for directions
I have now changed jobs .. and have no choice but to be on my feet all day ... it was initially a part time job .. it still is .. only Im working full time hours because they are short staffed ... I still remember the pain I was in after the first week lol .. and it was only 2.5 days!!! (not even in a row!!) ... I have now been in my new job for 3 months almost and I am really enjoying it ... although some days my feet are in agony by the time I get home .. on the plus side I am happier in my job .. I get to spend more time with my hunny instead of going to work not long before he would get home from his and we have breakfast together each morning (so now I have that routine in my system .. well .. just about .. there are my days off which I dont stick to that routine lol) .. and for lunch I grab a salad instead of a fatty food as I used to because I just cant face that sort of food when I still have hours on my feet .. drink like a camel lol .. and then at night Im eating a light meal and i dont even attack the cookies at supper!!
I dont know how well this will go .. but I do have to get my ticker changed
Basically .. dont be down on yourself .. for everyone there is a "light switch" that suddenly makes it all more real .. not simpler .. never be that .. but something more capable to stick to ... I just had to stop thinking about food ... I dont think about what I am going to have in advance otherwise I get stuck on the routine of constantly thinking about food then breaking every rule ... you will end up trying so many different things before you find one that works for you .. and it is a great help on this site .. the ideas and comments .... even if you mix and match parts of everyones ideas or plans and make it something that will work for you ... you will do great ... and you will do it in your own way and time .. its not a competition or a race ... its a lifestyle and its got to be one that you can be happy with
trying this again...
. I am really hoping to make friends with some of my fellow 3FC'ers, and stick with my goals.
I'm guilty of talking a good game and not playing, a lot, for years. For me, there are many nights when I go to bed feeling the same way, after having gotten up in the morning with so much positive steam, looking at the new day with promise. Somehow, at some point in the day, all that positive energy runs through my fingers like sand. Hrmph! I need one of those hugs too! 
Back!!!!
