[lottie63]

So, I wrote a memoir.

It turned out to be more of an outline of all the OTHER books I'd like to write. ha. I decided to not pursue publishing my memoir, besides, that one girl who wrote "Madness: a bipolar life" or whatever it was called pretty much has the same story as me! She got there first, eating disorder, early onset bipolar, etc.

So anyhow, I belong to some online bipolar support groups and I noticed that no one has written the book that I would recommend to the newly diagnosed. (hold on, this DOES have something to do with weight issues. )

There are no books I"ve ever seen, and I HAVE LOOKED< that speak to the day in and day out of living with this at times, terrifying illness. There are books on,"loving someone bipolar." or The bipolar survival guide, which you would THINK would tell you how to make it through a day, but it doesn't.

I want to write the book that does. It'll probably be called something along the lines of, "Burning the Bipolar Bridge: *Subtitle pending*" and am of course taking any suggestions on subtitles or totally new and way better titles than my own!

Other stuff I talked about in my memoir, is weight issues. I have had them since I was 9, and I"d like to write a self help type book for younger women, and maybe save some people all the yo yo dieting and weight gain and self esteem **** that I went through. It would be kind of like a cross between Ophelia Speaks (the precursor to Reviving Ophelia that was more geared towards mothers I think.) and "spreading the spark" (sparkpeople.com members know what I"m talking about) health and fitness, body image, self acceptance, I mean....how many of us here thought we were fat at 150 or 175 and yo yo dieted our way to 200+ lbs and would LOVE to be back where we were? There has to be a way to reach out to people who would do this, who would fall into those traps, and save them before they fall right into it.

Anyhow, that one would probably be called Such A Pretty Face: and other bull**** they tell fat girls, (just an idea, it's usually the name of my blogs) Again, suggestions welcome.

anyhow, just thought I"d share what i"ll be working on starting tomorrow!!! Also, I will probably be making lots of posts in regards to weighty issues that I will be writing about and may ask to quote some of you, hope you don't mind being a guinea pig!

[SuchAPrettyFace]

If you're going to use my name, I would expect a cut of the profits.

I think it's a great idea!

"how many of us here thought we were fat at 150 or 175 and yo yo dieted our way to 200+ lbs and would LOVE to be back where we were?"

ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!! I remember how FAT I thought I was @ 155 pounds. I would love to be that FAT now!!!

[SnowboundChick]

Sounds very interesting and I'd def be interested in reading, looking forward to your posts.

[ANewCreation]

I so identify!!!

From the time I could remember I've always thought I was fat. I remember a couple of years ago looking at some of my mom's photo albums and coming across a picture of my sister and some girl I didn't recognize. They were sitting on a chair and the unrecognizable girl had a thin face and these lanky legs tossed over the arm of the chair. Then it hit me--that unrecognizable girl was ME!

I dieted all through highschool and had a wardrobe that went from a jr. size 3 to a size 9. I would give anything to be a 'fat' size nine!!!

[Judy Lynn]

If you're going to use my name, I would expect a cut of the profits.

It took me a minute to get that one!

Lottie, I look forward to reading your thoughts. And yes, I would love to be back to my fat 165 pound self (what I weighed when I first went to TOPS with my Mom in high school.)

[TaraLee]

I blossomed before all the other girls in school. Up until this point I remember feeling "bigger" but not "fat." After this though kids at school started calling me fat and I believed them. I started thinking I was fat and it became a self-fufilling prophecy for me. I quit being active and ate fatty foods for the "good" feeling. My weight quickly ballooned. I found pictures of me when I was in sixth grade, when all of this peaked, and the girl I was looking at was not fat. Not the thinnest child ever either and could maybe lose 10 pounds, but was definitly NOT fat!
It was at this point I turned bulemic and for 7th and 8th grade I still felt so fat. I got a lot of slack from my family about being fat; they'd even ask my dr's to talk to me cause they'd "tried everything" (in reality they did nothing, they continued to cook the same foods, eat out, make me clean my plate at meals and pretty much ignore me unless I'd done something wrong). The dr would tell me I could stand to lose a few pounds and itd be far easier to take it off now that later down the road (I remember thinking what a liar he was ...if I'd only known, LOL). My grandma, who I had moved in with, found out I was purging and instead of taking me to the dr or seeking professional help told me to get it under control myself (God forbid, what would the neighbors/drs/aquiantences think if anyone found out!) with an implied threat that I would be sent back to live with my meth-head Mom if I didn't. I to this day, do not know how I managed to stop purging. I remember it took a lot of tiny amounts of food and laying in my bed trying not to throw up, sometimes not always successfully. And everytime I did throw up I was terrified my Grandmother would come running in there and drag me away. It took me a year to be able to eat meals again and when I quit purging I ballooned up and its been yo-yo'ing ever since.
I think I would've benefited from the type of writing your wanting to do, it'd be wonderful to have those refrences out there for young women from someone who isn't a size 0 dr/nutritionist.

[famograham]

Aimee !!!

I agree, I'd LOVE to be that fat again too!


Linda

[dragonwoman64]

how about
Crossing the Bi-Polar Bridge: One Woman's Story

great idea about the book. I thought I was ginormous at 200 lbs (and 5'9"). Um, I got all the way up to 330 at one point. DON'T FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS, YOUNG HEARTS

good luck!

[jrsygrl]

I can totally relate. I was helping a friend move and I came across some old photos of us getting ready to go out for one our infamous club hopping weekends. I barely recognized myself. I can actually see my collar bones in the photo. I think I was between 160 & 170 in those photos and yes I did think I was fat back then. I would give anything to be there now.

I would buy your book. Good luck.

[SuchAPrettyFace]

Originally Posted by famograham

Aimee !!!

I agree, I'd LOVE to be that fat again too!


Linda

Linda!!!



Lottie, I've been a guinea pig for the FDA for the last 5 years, what you've got cooking is going to be a lot more fun!!! I'll make an effort to poke my head in more often.