[Palestrina]

Has anyone watched "Ruby" on the Style network about a nearly 500lb woman struggling to lose weight?

I've been trying to be supportive of the concept but I can't really get into her character. She is surrounded by so many people trying to help her, nutritionists, psychologists, doctors, trainers, friends, the list of "support" for her is endless and yet she still seems like a whiny spoiled brat to me. She's always complaining about other people eating around her which is not fair, and she needs people to do so much for her. I've never been that overweight but I can't help thinking this is not an accurate representation of a morbidly obese person's struggle to lose weight. I don't find it entertaining, what does everyone else think?

[Deana]

I watch Ruby (not consistently) but I think I am pretty much up to date on the most recent season and this new season. I don't know that I find Ruby "whiny" as much as I find her co-dependent. She requires A LOT of assistance and is somewhat high maintenance. I admire her courage for trying to lose the weight naturally (she never had surgery right?), and find it interesting to see some of the struggles she faces...many I have never thought about. Do I think she is a role model for morbidly obese people? I can't say that I do, primairily because she has a PHENOMENAL support system that 99% of the population do not have. Further, she does not work (although I believe this will be changing shortly). So I think her lifestyle might be somewhat unrealistic and not very inspiring for those people struggling without the nutritionist/specialty doctor/fitness trainer/free food, etc.

[Amy8888]

I watch this show and love it. I don't mind the whining most of the time, I think it's funny! She says what I'm thinking most of the time. I wish I could be as straightforward as she is about what she needs from people.

[mamaspank]

I love the show and find it very inspiring. I feel so bad for Ruby, in that she has missed out on so much life. I think between that and the fact that every embarrassing moment of her life is being filmed and put on display, and that is all part of what she signed up for, has to make one co-dependent. I mean, I just hopes that if the show were to tank, that these doctors would still make sure she reaches her goal and maintains her health. My mother was morbidly obese my whole life up until three years ago. She had done yo-yo dieting and the whole bit. I was only able to help her when I was 18 and she decided to lose some weight after a total knee replacement. She lost 180 pounds on her own, and then gradually gained it back on her own after five years. She was attacked by a cow, my dad got sick with cancer, my dad died, and then she decided it was time to take care of herself again. She had a gastric bypass three years ago and dropped the weight, but she still has the mentality of an overeater/obese person. We are going to Disneyland in October and it took forever to convince her that she could walk it. She still won't throw out her canes; they are like blankies to her. She used to ride around in one of the motorized little carts and that's what it was like for several years. She blamed everything on her knee, even though her knee was bad because she was so heavy.

So I guess what I am trying to say is I get Ruby, and then on top of that, I love her voice. Even when she is worried and sort of whining, I think that southern drawl makes her so lovable. And did I mention brave.

[wendyland]

I love Ruby. I think she's a joy to watch. Her whiny and complaining don't bother me. She's coming to my city this Saturday to do a walk. I'm going to try to make it down there to walk.

[Amy8888]

Originally Posted by mamaspank

So I guess what I am trying to say is I get Ruby, and then on top of that, I love her voice. Even when she is worried and sort of whining, I think that southern drawl makes her so lovable. And did I mention brave.

I love your whole post, but I wanted to say that the drawl usually drives me batty. It's an unfair bias I have as a northerner, but I'm sure many folks hate my Chicago accent too!. Anyway, I don't even mind Ruby's drawl at all, that's how much I like her!

I'm looking forward to the next episode when she goes to the lady's doctor. I've been avoiding that because of my weight (all doctors really) and I KNOW that's the wrong thing to do. Maybe I'll actually make an appointment after seeing the episode. If Ruby can do it, so can I!

[Glory87]

I lived in the south growing up, I hate hate hate Ruby's "super fake sweet voice" she uses so much. She has a perfectly normal voice, but so often she is all "how are yoooooooo" in that fake sugary southern voice way. Grates on my nerves so much I had to give the show up.

[kaplods]

I think it's easy to see her as "ungrateful" for complaining with all of the help she gets. I'd like to think that if I had all of those advantages and assistance, I would be grateful every moment, but I know that probably isn't true. Even if I had the support she has been given (the meal plan with food provided, the doctors, the personal trainer, the nutrition and cognitive behavioral therapy...) I know that it would still be difficult, and I would still complain sometimes. I'm a "venter," so when things get overwhelming or I get frustrated, I ***** and moan. Not all the time and not very long, but if it were video-taped I'd look like a whiny brat too.

I also wonder how much the cameras and film staff influence her behavior. A lot of the situtations in reality shows are actually set up by the producers. Behind-the-scenes, you might see the film crew encouraging her to talk about x, y, or z - or set up the situations in which her friends are eating pizza and icecream (to me, it seems the show does spend an awful lot of time watching her friends eating crap. It seems there's some kind of party every episode where the friends are eating deep fried foods, greasy pizza, or huge pieces of cake. They may not be fat, but I do wonder if they're destroying their own healths, but thinking it's all ok because they're not fat).

[kiramira]

All the help that Ruby has simply downloads her issues and problems to others to solve. And when she doesn't have the control over her own solutions, she gets whiny and grating -- "Oh my GAAAAAAAAAAWD! I don't think ah can DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that! I've NEEEEEEEEEEEEVER been able to DOOOOOOOOOOOOO that beFOOOORRRRRRRE!"

I reached my personal limit when there was a team meeting last year to decide if she was "emotionally ready" to make her own food. HONESTLY. Welcome to REALITY. If you need a TEAM. MEETING of a bariatric specialist, a psychiatrist, a nutritionist, and two trainers to figure out if you should boiling a freaking EGG for breakfast in the morning, you're in for a heap of trouble in the long term.

BUT it makes for "good tv". I just wonder how she can afford it all with no visible means of support.

Look, I wish her well. I want her to be successful. But IMHO I really think that devolving the responsibility for making food choices and preparation to her meal delivery service and her nutritionist, the responsibility for moving to not one, but two trainers AND a doctor, the respoinsibility for "feeling good" to a psychiatrist, and the responsibility for managing her case to her bariatric specialist, I wonder HOW she'll manage when the cameras are off and the team isn't holding her aloft anymore...

JMHO

Kira

[Onederchic]

I watched all last season and so far this one but honestly, I am not sure why. I don't like her whining and complaining either. I don't like the fact that she doesn't seem to want to take control of her own life but instead has it played out by her "team" of experts. Also, and I know some or most will disagree but this is my opinion only, I really hate how she gets upset when her friends are eating foods "they know she loves". I have not once asked my boyfriend not to eat something because I don't want it in my diet. I find the strength within myself to just say no to the food. I also didn't like the NY fitness guru . Anyway, enough of my blabbering. I will probably continue to watch and continue to question why .

[wendyland]

Originally Posted by kiramira

BIT it makes for "good tv". I just wonder how she can afford it all with no visible means of support.

I figured that the show paid for it and/or compensated her for doing the show.

[SunshineCA]

I like Ruby and tune in every week. I find the show to be very inspiring. She has a lot of weight to lose and has done well thus far. I commend her on making a decision to lose weight or die, as her doctors told her.

Let's also remember that this is a TV show. The media has to put a spin on her life and issues to make it interesting and entertaining for the masses. Whatever they air is still her life but there are a lot of things that go on that we'll never see. I can only imagine what it's like to have the world watch you go through your weight loss efforts.

She has an excellent support group. Her friends have spoiled her all her life and this isn't going to stop any time soon. She has the type of personality where people will always want to do things for you. I can totally relate. However, there's a fine line between spoiling her and being enablers. It seems they are learning to back off a bit and allowing her to take control of the reigns of her life.

I wish Ruby and all of us much success on our weight loss efforts.

[kiramira]

Yeah, I figured the show footed the bill. Which kind of makes a weird message -- if you want to lose weight, well, here's an example of a team that you need to do it. Which is discouraging for those with limited means -- if Ruby is having a tough time with a TEAM, what chance do I have?

It would be cool if this show was simply RUBY without the team. Just a real-life honest look at how danged tough it is for the vast majority of us who don't have the luxury of trainer(s) and meal delivery services and all that.

But, maybe that is WHY she's finding it difficult -- if you aren't responsible for your choices, it is easy to "act out" or rebel against them...

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm....

Kira

[Skinnycow]

I got to meet Ruby, and she was so nice! I love her show. Her voice doesn't bother me. My roommate in college sounded just like her so I'm used to it.

[kaplods]

Actually team approaches actually increase people's odds of long-term success, regardless of the behavior it is addressing. Unfortunately, insurances aren't likely to ever approve suce a wide-range of services. Too bad, because many people would benefit greately from a much larger support system than they have access to.