[JessicaLovely]

I have 13 month twins and I know at this stage I should not be concerned about how much they eat as long as I am providing them with healthy options. But one twin's appetite is much heartier than the other's and weighs a little more. People are always commenting on how she is bigger, and I know it's my own sensitivity to weight, but those comments drive me nuts! I've noticed most people without weight problems love it when someone comments on how big their babies are because it's a sign that they're healthy and well cared for. But I can't help worrying that she will have eating issues like I do. I really really don't want to pass on my unhealthy relationship with food to my kids. I don't want them to be fat and experience that kind of unhappiness; but on the other hand I don't want them feeling like they're not good enough as they are - which is probably what got me fat in the first place... To top off this worry, I feel guilty that I am worried about it. Any advice from mom's who've been there?

[Jokan]

Yes, my dear, that has always been a concern of mine. However, your twins will be completly fine because u are mindful of it and know how much pain comes from being overeweight. U are the mom and u are in control of their choices in food. Either u give them good choices or u give them crap but knowledge is the best thing u can give them.
I have a 10 and 11 year old that loves salads, veggies and fruits. I have a friend with four children that recently asked "How do u make them eat fruit?" I replied "When your choices are limited to healthy options, you tend to have a taste for it. If u are raised on crap u have a taste for that." They often check labels for sugars, as I have never let them know it is about weight but about health. I educate them on what I know only when the moment rises as I don't want them to be so aware of weight but health!!

[mizcarly]

I, too, am scared that my daughter, age 4, will inherit my food issues.

She has an infinite capacity for food, it seems, and she's a big girl - easily the size of a 6 year old. She sometimes seems too hungry, and just wants to eat too much. She's healthy and strong though, and she seems to understand why we make healthy choices about food and exercise. She even understands that the reason Mommy watches what she eats is so that Mommy can be fit and have energy to spend time with her. I guess I'm just afraid that her exposure to my disordered eating AND dieting will combine to give her a really skewed perspective about eating.

I certainly don't want her to suffer the way I have. Bulimia, binge eating disorder, weight yo-yoing from 87kg all the way up to 140kg... I want to have this under control while she's still young so that she takes the good habits with her into her school years.

[JulieJ08]

I'mnot sure why a 4-year old has to have any idea Mommy is dieting. All she needs to know is Mommy didn't eat that because she didn't want it or wasn't hungry. Exactly the reasons the child should be learning not to eat.

[jendiet]

I am so glad you ladies are sharing your concerns. I actually have twin cats. One is so big and the other is so skinny. They are both pure white with blue eyes and you can tell they are twins, but my gosh the weight difference. when they were kittens. I noticed my heavier one Naomi, had a larger span between her haunches than my skinny one Abigail. And Naomi also had a heartier appetite (why I named her that--Naomi means opulence)

I think it is good you are noticing the differences now. And continue to have each of them make healthy food choices. I think it would be ignorant to think the heavier one won't have problems with her weight if she is already gaining alot more than here sister. AS long as you are on top of it, I think you can guide her to healthy future.

I also believe NOT teaching kids that their is an animal called dieting is a form of sheltering they don't need. They need to understand--if I make good food choices I will be healthy. Bad food choices and my body won't do what it should i.e I'll be heavier.

[Beyondmyhsjeans]

I have a fear that my daughter who is only two may grow up and be overweight because her father and I have always been overweight. This is one of the major reasons why I have decided to lose weight and accept a healthier lifestyle. It seriously scares me, my heart starts to beat rapidly every time I think about it. But if I can get on track then hopefully my family will too.

[jendiet]

oh sweetie! I got tears in my eyes when I read the urgency in your post. Yes, what you are doing now is GOING TO HELP her and you and your husband. In so many ways! Everytime I look at my brothers and sisters I get scared for my son. They are really overweight. Then I look how I let myself go--and how thin I used to be...and I know it's a very REAL POSSIBILITY!

My mantra is this "if you never get fat, you won't have to lose weight" I don't ever want him to experience the pain of being overweight!