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Old 06-29-2009, 03:06 PM   #5
CLCSC145
Never want to go back!
 
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,804

S/C/G: 338.4/190.8/165

Height: 6 ft

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Unfortunately, yes. We sound very similar!

I lost over 130 pounds 9 years ago and gained it all back plus 17 more, then lost 75 pounds about a year and a half ago and gained that back plus another 20. I have to say it boggles my mind to know that I'm capable of doing that. Each time I felt amazing when I was lighter. I felt like I had made life altering changes I could stick with forever. And I still managed to lose control and ruin all my hard work.

My biggest problem was not realizing how much I turned to food when I was stressed or depressed. Food has been my primary coping technique for situations where I felt I was not in control of my life.

How odd that in the face of feeling powerless, I gave up control of the one thing in life I DO have control over - what goes in my mouth.

Argh. This go around, I am seeing a therapist to help me with new ways of coping. Intellectually I know food isn't the answer, the trick is to learn to apply that in my life.

I'm a perfectionist, very much a black and white thinker. There are few gray areas in the world I've created for myself. So I'm learning to live in the middle this time around and stop with the all or nothing thinking. It makes life so much harder than it needs to be...
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