|
|
06-06-2009, 12:28 PM
|
#1
|
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: RI
Posts: 159
S/C/G: 192/ticker/135
Height: 5'7"
|
dealing with comments about goal weights?
So I've been at this diet thing for over a year now and have had some success. I've lost almost 40lbs so far and am pleased with that but I still am nowhere near my goal weight. And yet when I mention the fact that I'm still dieting, friends and family act as though I've gone off the deep end and turned anorexic.
It's just so frustrating because I'm still fat! I have rolls and my thighs jiggle when I walk...I squeeze into a size 10 and still wear a large shirt. I'm not comfortable at this weight and yet people act as though it's a bad thing that I'm aiming for a lower weight. Seriously, my goal wieght is well within a healthy BMI for my body...
Has anyone else dealt with this problem? If so what do you say? I just end up getting defensive and angry and they just keep telling me I should be happy at the weight I'm at. How do I get them to either be supportive or just shut up and leave me alone about it?
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 12:33 PM
|
#2
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149
S/C/G: 204/114/120
Height: 5'
|
I ignore the comments of other people as much as I can. It is no one's business but yours. Often their remarks are made out of ignorance. And some might think they are being helpful, not true.
Congratulations on losing 40 pounds !
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 12:45 PM
|
#3
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383
S/C/G: SW:394/310/180
Height: 5'6"
|
I think that most people have no idea what 30 lbs (or 10 or 100) look like. When I was nearly 400 lbs, I'd have some people tell me there was "no way" I weighed more than 300 lbs. Yeah, duh with a capital "D."
When other people don't know what they're talking about, you don't have to make it your problem. I wouldn't try to change them (it's too frustrating, and inefective), just treat it like any other time someone shares an opinion you know is complete idiocy. I think deflective comments help. Something like "You have a point, I'll give that some consideration (for a second) - or "Thanks for your opinion, I'll think about it (how stupid it is) Ok, I don't say the parts in paranthesises, but I think them - it makes me feel like the jokes on them (I get to keep my good mood).
It helps if you can prevent eyerolling. I have to do this a lot with my Mom because she has an opinion on nearly every aspect of my life (and it always seems to be pointing me away from whatever I'm doing at the time). I found that this is the best way to change the topic.
Last edited by kaplods; 06-06-2009 at 12:49 PM.
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 12:54 PM
|
#4
|
I wish!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 164
S/C/G: 185/136/135
Height: 5'6''
|
I know exactly what you mean. You and I have almost the exact same stats (although you've done better on the weight loss front than me - well done BTW). One of my bosses at work is convinced I have an eating disorder (could not be further from the truth) and is forever offering me snacks and being sarcastic when I decline the offer. It is awkward and frustrating to deal with. I try to stear conversations away from food and diet and if he mentions my weight loss, I've been saying I haven't lost any weight in ages - which may be true at this point as I've hit a bit of a plateau...lol. Sorry - not very helpful advice, but just wanted to let you know I know what you're going thru.
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 01:35 PM
|
#5
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,629
S/C/G: HW/232 SW 215/ CW 133/GW 120's
Height: 5.7 and 1/2
|
For this reason I do not discuss my goal weight outside 3FC. I have a couple of super fit friends and we do discuss specifics but it is on rare occasion. If someone asks I usually get into my spill on focusing on whole foods and the benefits of fitness and believe me, that will shut up anyone and move them onto the next subject!
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 01:38 PM
|
#6
|
Hooping my Life Away
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,052
S/C/G: 298/218.1/170
Height: 5'8"
|
My friend deals with this the entire time. She merely explains she is not happy with herself and has not hit healthy BMI yet. Any other comments she will ignore after saying her spiel
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 07:07 PM
|
#7
|
banned
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 632
S/C/G: 213/ticker/135
Height: 5'5
|
You are close to your goal! You've lost almost 40 pounds, and it's fine to still feel frustrated and uncomfortable with your body. If you got down to 100 pounds, then your friends and family would have room to be concerned.
What a lot of people don't understand is that when you're dieting, you can't eat normally like other people. I eat a LOT less than anyone I know because I have to in order to lose. I can't eat any junk food at all or else I'll gain like *that*. And some people think it's weird, but that's just how my body is. It's just a part of dieting and losing weight.
Don't let their comments get to you. just keep doing you thing!
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 07:27 PM
|
#8
|
Eat Less Move More
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: High Desert of California
Posts: 951
S/C/G: 186/164/125
Height: 5'3"
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thighs Be Gone
For this reason I do not discuss my goal weight outside 3FC. I have a couple of super fit friends and we do discuss specifics but it is on rare occasion. If someone asks I usually get into my spill on focusing on whole foods and the benefits of fitness and believe me, that will shut up anyone and move them onto the next subject!
|
Ditto...
|
|
|
06-06-2009, 10:49 PM
|
#9
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: memphis
Posts: 2,163
S/C/G: 170/Ticker/124-126
Height: 5'3"
|
I get the same thing all the time "Dont go any lower!" i mean its my body and im going to keep going until im satisfied. i didnt come all this way just to listen to what people think i should be.
|
|
|
06-07-2009, 06:24 AM
|
#10
|
This is not a test.
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,409
S/C/G: 187/132/127.8
Height: 5'5''/165cm
|
i seriously get really off and tell most ppl to stfu. Unless they are very close to me, know my journey well and are open to LISTEN to my goals before they judge them, they are fair game for my rage
Last edited by Iconised Ghost; 06-07-2009 at 06:25 AM.
|
|
|
06-07-2009, 08:21 PM
|
#11
|
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 41
S/C/G: 106/128/98-106
Height: 5'2
|
Yup I also know how you feel. Perhaps they are jelous? I tend not to mention I am on a diet or what my goal weight is to people, I usually just say that I am trying to be healthy and leave it at that
|
|
|
06-07-2009, 09:00 PM
|
#12
|
I LOVE my furbabies!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: North-Eastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 269
S/C/G: 216/*ticker*/160
Height: 5'9"
|
i had a few people in my family say the same stuff to me... i would usualy just roll my eyes and ignore them but i got so sick of it one day that i pulled my shirt up and grabbed the fat on my belly and shook it very hard and said does this look HEALTHY to you?! yeah didn't think so-- so shut the **** up and mind your own business! i let my anger and annoyance win but it worked... w/co-workers and strangers or just friends this probably wouldnt work but i like to remind people that when i was at this weight the first time (when i was down to 182) i did NOT look like this-- i was leaner and had no jiggly fat-- i was in a smaller pants size and had more muscle tone... so when i get there-- you can be worried if you can see my bones sticking way out-- and yeah i do have an eating disorder-- i eat TOO MUCH and if i don't control it i will be severely obese in no time- so thanks for your concern but i'm already taking control of my eating problem-- not creating a new one.
Hope you can look past these comments-- you know what healthy is and you and your doctor should be the only ones you listen to!!
congrats on your weight loss so far you're doing great!!!!!!
|
|
|
06-07-2009, 09:57 PM
|
#13
|
Let's do this!
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: 3rd cornfield on the left.
Posts: 3,757
S/C/G: 210/149/140
Height: 5'6.5
|
Every single person who asked me how low I was going to go responded in absolute horror when I told him (I stopped at 135... not exactly waif-thin, you know?)
I learned the hard way that it's just not worth the discussion.
|
|
|
06-07-2009, 11:59 PM
|
#14
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Western PA
Posts: 424
S/C/G: 270/ticker/135
Height: 5'2
|
I don't understand why people react the way they do when I tell them my goal weight. I want to get down to 135lbs also and I'm 5'2, that is at the top of the ideal weight range for me. But still people are shocked and mortified that I would want to be that "small". My SIL even said 135lbs would be too thin for me and she is my height and 115lbs...what's up with that?
|
|
|
06-08-2009, 12:27 AM
|
#15
|
Not so starving student
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 192
S/C/G: 152.3/ticker/130
Height: 5'4"
|
Maybe tell a little white lie and say that your doctor set your goal weight for you? Or just say that you are trying to live a more healthy life style. My friends (most of whom are much taller than me) are always telling me that I don't need to lose weight. I usually just try to ignore it. I know their hearts are in the right place. And it's really not as fun to go out with someone on a diet... I think my eating healthier makes them feel guilty.
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:26 AM.
|