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Old 06-01-2009, 08:59 AM   #5
Addicted to potato salad!
techwife's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Northern New York State
Posts: 2,719


OMG I feel your pain. I moved to the 1000 Islands TEN years ago. I'm married and when I moved here my daughter was 6 and I was pregnant with my son. My next door neighbor's boys were 5 and 7 and she has since had three more. We started out as great friends with gardening and crocheting as a few of our many common interests. It was great for a while until she started having me babysit for her ALL the TIME, to go on wine tasting ventures and pottery classes, etc with her friends, never inviting me as a way for me to get to know others as a new kid in town. I started feeling very used. Well, then she came over one day for a haircut and I was listening to Rush Limbaugh. It was as if she had walked in on some satanic ritual. Apparently, she didn't know I'm a Republican. Truthfully, I don't care if a friend is Communist as long as they're a good friend. We're still friendly, but I no longer feel comfy just going over to visit.

So, then my son went to Kindergarden and I met a new friend there. She's about ten years younger than me, but we have slowly become the type of friend that I can call on to vent when things go wrong at school, she stops in unannounced for coffee all the time (which I LOVE). She's a true comfy friend. Well, she's new in town, too, and has become so repressed from living here that she's moving back to Baltimore this summer. I'm so bummed.

Truth is, I live in an extremely small town (my son's school has 18 kids in his grade level!) that is extremely clicky. In order to fit in here, you have to have gone to high school here yourself, be extremely pretty, have a house on the river or work for the school district. Otherwise, you're just part of the scenery. Many will be friendly to you, but none will be close to you. In fact, last summer, my son's teacher had a Welcome Back to School party at her house....she invited everyone except my son, my friend that is moving back to Baltimore's daughter and a little boy named Isaac that is a boy whose family is in the military. HORRIBLE. All the other kids parents meet the above criteria, so they were invited.

Funny thing is that I used to spend my summers here when I was a teenager and LOVED it here. I had many friends that went to high school here and I loved the contrast to my humongous school that it was so small. I have always thought that it would be a great place to grow up, so when I had the chance, I moved here. The village I live in is so quiet and peaceful and beautiful. If I didn't have kids, I'd so love it here, but I really hate the prejudice against my non-native kids.

So, now I'm in the market for a new BFF. I think I'm just going to give up. I have my husband and my friends back in Rochester for when I need adult companionship.

I realize I'm not giving you any advice on how to remedy your situation, but look at me as someone that feels your pain. BOY do I feel your pain...Small towns are hard to break in to.

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