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05-13-2009, 10:57 AM
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#1
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Token rooster
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,508
Height: 6'2
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Thanks, but...
My WW leader last week was talking about something that I do all of the time and now I see how wrong it is both to myself and to others. Specially, this is when someone makes a compliment on weight loss and you say "Thanks, but I still have XX pounds to lose" or "Thanks, but I am still really fat..".
Not only does it hurt the person who is trying to say something nice, but you aren't allowing yourself to be happy with what you have been doing and the choices that you've made.
So, if someone says something nice to you, say "Thanks". (with no buts!).
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05-13-2009, 11:01 AM
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#2
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. * . * . * . * . * . * .
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,141
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This is a very nice point. ...I haven't had compliments from others yet but I've found myself saying it to others. "I've only lost "XX" so far... so I've got a long way to go... but it's a start." It's like you said.. it really does take away from the positive and all the hard work that has gotten you to where you are.
Thanks for sharing!
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05-13-2009, 11:03 AM
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#3
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Happy Plodder
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 5,006
S/C/G: 238/158.9/138
Height: 5'2"
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Good point. We need to learn to be happy about what we Have achieved and not just worry about what we haven't yet - and to accept compliments graciously too.
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05-13-2009, 11:18 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northeastern Ohio But my heart belongs to Canada.
Posts: 369
S/C/G: 290/See Ticker/150
Height: 5ft 4 inches
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Very true. Now that you mention it, I always negate a compliment like that. I guess no one is harder on us, then ourselves.
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05-13-2009, 11:25 AM
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#5
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-.-K!M-.-
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 151
S/C/G: 258/253.4/145
Height: 5'4"
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I never thought of it like that. Not like anybody's saying that to me yet, though!
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05-13-2009, 11:27 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 320
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Wow I was just doing this yesterday. A friend told me I was really starting to look good and I pretty much laughed at her and said yeah I still have a loooong way to go. I guess sometimes I just feel like people are just trying to be nice. Or maybe I don't want them to think that I am being conceited or something?!? Hmm...I seriously need to work on this.
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05-13-2009, 11:32 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 7,097
S/C/G: 197/135/?
Height: 5'7"
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That is so true. If you keep answering compliments with "but" people may start answering with "Oh. Bummer for you."
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05-13-2009, 11:33 AM
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#8
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Backpedaling!!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 370
S/C/G: 276/250/176
Height: 5'4''
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I had this problem, too. I've been trying to train myself to say, "Thanks, I feel great, too!" when somebody tells me I'm looking good. I do lie and say that I don't know, when they want to know how much I've lost. I don't think it's quite exactly polite for people I'm not close with to ask me that. I know they don't mean to be rude, but I still prefer to airily dismiss it with "ooh, I don't even know, but I'm not worried about the numbers, I just want to feel better, you know?" and change the subject.
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05-13-2009, 11:34 AM
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#9
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Backpedaling!!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 370
S/C/G: 276/250/176
Height: 5'4''
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Yet, for some reason, I have no problem posting it for all to see on the internet!
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05-13-2009, 11:36 AM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: U.S.
Posts: 445
S/C/G: 253/Maintenance/140
Height: 5'8
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Ha, just over the weekend, when I was trying on a ton of clothes in various sizes -- and receiving a little snarkiness for it -- I ended up telling a shop saleslady that it's because I recently lost 70 lbs.
She very nicely responded, "Oh, you must feel great!" I said, "yeah, still have a lot to go ..." She was like, "I mean it must feel good, like on your joints." (Truthfully I never really thought about my joints much.)
I hastily, Oh, yes, of course'd her nicely and confirmed how good it felt ... though in walking back to the dressing room I realized how possibly rude/negative I was in our original exchange.
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05-13-2009, 11:42 AM
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#11
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There is no spoon!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 1,882
S/C/G: 265/ticker/160
Height: 5/9
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Well, I think that is exactly the outlook we should all take. I've always been the type of individual that simply can not take a compliment, but this may be a very good place to start. Thanks!
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05-13-2009, 11:44 AM
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#12
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Former Quitter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 5,500
S/C/G: 310/310/180
Height: 5'7
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I agree. We should treasure our success. We earned it!
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05-13-2009, 11:49 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 115
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Whoa! I just did this the other day. My Cousins wife asked me - "you have lost a considerable amount of weight haven't you!" I quickly responded - I have a lot left to lose.
You are right matt. Thanks!!!
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05-13-2009, 11:56 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Puget Sound
Posts: 233
S/C/G: 271/268/175
Height: 5'8"
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I've got to learn some grace. I really like hearing positive compliments, but if I think about it, maybe I'm not that positive in return. No more buts.
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05-13-2009, 01:32 PM
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#15
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Diane
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 5,467
S/C/G: 294/258.0/180
Height: 5'6"
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It's funny that you mention this. I've had a couple of people at my gym say something about my dedication to being there every day (except Sunday). The first time, I said something lame like, "Uh thanks. But I have a lot of work yet to do." But I realized how stupid that sounded!!! When someone I know mentioned that I am doing so well and she was impressed, I said, "Thanks! I'm feeling really proud!"
Just about killed me to not put myself down, but it was an accurate response.
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