Under 200 this morning. Why am I not happy? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

beforeim35 · 05-06-2009, 09:01 AM

Ok, warning, whiny venting ahead.

I have been doing a decent (not great) job since March 22nd. As expected, the first week I dropped a lot of water and with the exception of last week, I have dropped a little each week. I have been excited the last few weeks that I was almost under 200. Couldn't wait till I saw it on the scale. Well, this morning, there is was, 198.2.

I had one momentary feeling of happiness and then it hit me...So what! A good portion of my life I have hovered right around the 200 mark so I have just made it to were I have always been. It doesn't feel like an accomplishment since I feel like this is where I started.

Ok,Ok, I know I should be proud. That makes 16 pounds in about 6 weeks. Quite a feat considering I am have been doing a decent (but not great) job. I do think that I can see a difference when I look in the mirror but no one else has noticed. No one! I figured it would take 20 lbs before it would be obvious but come on is that 4 lbs going to make that big a difference?

I have a lot of jeans in the size 12 range in my closet that I cannot wait to get into but I figure that is still 15-20 pounds away. Oh why, oh why can't I be happy about it?

So, sorry to be so whiny, but isn't that what this forum is for? Talk it out and make yourself feel better? It helped a little

Fat Pants · 05-06-2009, 09:09 AM

ha! I totally know what you're talking about. Each time I have dieted, I've made it to just under the 200 lb mark and then something happens where I give up, gain the weight back and start all over again. When I reached ONEderland this time, I was like..big deal. I have been here before. I thought when I hit the 180s, I would be ecstatic... I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've been in the 180s. But again, I was just like... huh, ok.

I think (at least for me) a part of me still isn't convinced I can go all the way. That something will happen and I'll give up just like I did all the other times. Or that one day I'll wake up and see that it was all just a dream. Are you rewarding yourself for certain mini-goals? I haven't yet, and I wonder if that has something to do with it.

Rosinante · 05-06-2009, 09:30 AM

Totally understand, well I think I do. It IS a big achievement but if there's still a long way to go, that reality can hit very hard.

Back in 1993, I was on a 2 year course at residential college. (mature student. well, in years.) the summer between first and second years I'd lost a few pounds, 10 or a dozen maybe, and started back full of enthusiasm.

I'd got a wee bit of a rep. as giving a good back massage, and one of the newbies offered to do one for me. So I went to his room. Hey, he was gay as a daisy, it was safe and not seedy.

We got started. All I could hear were other students' doors opening and closing and footsteps along the corridor. Any moment now, someone would burst in. Could, anyway. N. noticed my unease. 'It's ok,' he said. 'I know how you feel, I'm kind of chunky Myself.....'
~End of massage. End of diet, it would be 10 years before I lost weight again. Like an idiot, another 5 years on and I'm doing it all again. I've lost 35lbs in 100 days, and not one soul has noticed. All that keeps me going is the plod: I've moved weightloss out of the heart and into the head. My head knows that if I keep on, I'll get there; and it's learning to be glad about little things and resigned about the other stuff: not faster, not noticeable, miles to go.....

RedPorcupine · 05-06-2009, 11:01 AM

Trust me, beforeim35, every single pound makes a difference. I know it can seem slowgoing, but that's because it IS. You put on weight gradually, one pound at a time, and you dont even notice you're gaining it until it's past the point of being subtle. And that's how it is with weight loss, too. You feel like you're throwing pebbles at a brick wall, like nothing's going to knock it down. Then one day you look in the mirror, and you're like "Whoah...whoah! Seriously?"

No one noticed My weight loss until I had lost about 35 pounds. I wondered if I was making a difference, or was just losing this phantom weight that seemed to have no effect on my body shape. But it takes people a while to catch up. They don't always have a photographic memory of how you use to look, so somehow they need to have that "whoah!" moment themselves.

Hahaha, hopefully I'm making sense.

Devsmama · 05-06-2009, 11:11 AM

Are you losing weight for you or other people? Who gives a **** if they notice or not, YOU notice! You know what's up, you know what you have to do! Put your blinders on, keep working this thing out and you will get there before you know it. I have a ton of weight to lose, but guess what? I don't give a **** who notices and who doesn't. It's not about them, its about me! You're doing a great job, you really are and I am happy for you being under 200. If you don't celebrate yourself, then I will celebrate for you!!!

: cheer3:

paperSkin · 05-06-2009, 11:12 AM

I'm kinda having that problem right now too.. I'm at 185, this is the weight I have been for the last couple of years, and then last year somehow I magically put on 25lbs... so now that I've lost them I feel like I'm back to square one. It's not the excitement it should be. Especially since I have been stuck here for a week.

sprklemajik · 05-06-2009, 11:16 AM

And, just to be fair, onederland may not be the goal that will get you all excited. Maybe your wonderland is 160 or ? You were already close so it may not be such a big milestone. Congratulations on all you've lost so far, and keep your committment to your health and keep going.

bitetoobreakkskin · 05-06-2009, 11:22 AM

well..i know how you guys feel being "back to square one" BUT-that is an accomplishment by itself..think of all the people who get back to square one, then just go back up to square 20 more lbs and what not-you made a great change just getting back to where you were-now you keep on keepin on and like shia says-this is about YOU losing weight-not people noticing

you are doing so great-and i am proud of you for losing those 16 lbs!!!

FreeSpirit · 05-06-2009, 11:32 AM

I feel that EXACT same way. I'll get back down to 140 and that'll be the EXACT SAME PLACE I've been for the last year and a half.

But you know what? I'll be healthier. I'll be stronger. My body composition is going to be different. I'll have made progress. Maybe not scale progress, but the inside of my body will be different. My muscles will be changing and my heart and lungs will be getting stronger.

rocketbunny · 05-06-2009, 11:42 AM

beforeim35,

I really hear where you're coming from. I worked really hard last month and lost 10 lbs. As I looked at the scale all I could see was my 2001 Weight Watchers starting weight. In 5 more lbs I'll be at the low end of the 15 lbs I've flopped around in the last 3 years. I feel like I'm just getting started, just catching up on my "real" starting weight.

What's keeping me going right now is the knowledge that I'm Doing Something About It.

In another month, I will be lower. In 6 months I won't even be able to recognize myself. I'm no longer treading water. I'm not wasting more of my life at a weight I don't want to be.

And very soon (6 months is soon, in the grand scheme of things) the scale will spit out a number that I can get excited about.

Jacqui_D · 05-06-2009, 09:18 PM

I agree with sprklemajik. Maybe hitting 199 just isn't what does it for you. I'm sure if you had started at 250, you'd be a lot more excited! When I hit 199, I was happy, but I'm always happy when I lose another lb, and that's what it was, another lb down. But when I hit 196, I got really excited because I had broken out of the "obese" category on the BMI chart! That to me was a much more exciting accomplishment. I probably won't get that excited again until I break out of the "overweight" category! So there are numbers that you will get excited about. 199/198.2 just wasn't one of them!

TheWalrus · 05-06-2009, 10:13 PM

This may not help, but I'd be a very happy bunny if I were your weight now!

teawithsunshine · 05-07-2009, 05:16 AM

Keep going, and you'll reach a lower weight on the scale that you haven't been in for a LONG time and then you'll get pretty excited!

It's okay to not always feel frantically excited!! Just keep going!

~ tea

beforeim35 · 05-07-2009, 07:04 AM

I am not sure what to say to all this support except for you guys are awesome and make me feel so much better!!

CJZee · 05-07-2009, 07:16 AM

You know, I'm glad when people don't notice I've lost weight. It means I don't look gaunt because they notice it first in your face or you're wearing clothes that are too baggy. Obviously, you know you're smaller and to them you probably just look better and more chic.