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Old 03-30-2009, 01:50 PM   #8
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,123


Hi Dawn --

I've seen this happen over and over again with women who have lost weight. Really, any drastic change can trigger it. We play a certain role in people's lives, and when we do things that move us out of that role, people get very uncomfortable and see it as negative. What YOU have to do is remind yourself that your changes are POSITIVE, regardless of what others say/think. You are becoming the best you you can be, and if they can't handle it, it's their problem, not yours. Whether it's the "guys" at work who now see you as a sexual person rather than an asexual one, or the overweight girlfriends who give you the cold shoulder because you don't pig out with them any more, or the spouse who doesn't understand why going to the gym is more important than XYZ ... their problem, not yours.

I believe that there are relationships worth salvaging where having a heart-to-heart talk is worth a try. Just know it doesn't always work. With SOs it can be especially important to reassure them that you are still committed to them, but in your case the baggage you dropped is well left by the side of the road.

One of the truisms I've seen in weightloss circles is that a lot of women are a "PPFP" -- People Pleasing Fat Person. We sublimate our own needs and desires in hopes of pleasing everyone around us. When you start losing weight, you are breaking out of your PPFP shell, and that makes you AND others nervous. It's OK. Taking care of yourself, letting your true personality shine, standing up for yourself are all good things. They may be different and uncomfortable, but they are good. Hold your head up high.
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