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Old 03-18-2009, 10:16 PM   #1  
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So I had a completely mortifying experience tonight that I must share with y'all!

On Wednesday nights, I have supper at church bc of a program we're doing. Fortunately, there is always a vegetarian option or baked vs. fried chicken, so it has been easy to stay on plan. My family and close friends know that I'm trying to lose weight, but it is still a very personal thing to me- *I* am in control and making good choices for the rest of my life, not prescribed limitations on a limited-time "diet" (/rant)!

So anyway, tonight I'm running late (thank God), so it is just me in the line to get food. So, I opt for the baked chicken, where the guy serving tries to give me a (literally) canary-sized leg. I ask for a small thigh and move on. Then one of the ladies who was helping gives me about a teaspoon sized portion of wild rice and says "good choice, this will fill you up, your mom said you're DIETING!" in this extremely loud "whisper" with THAT LOOK in her eyes that says "awww, fat girl trying to lose weight is so precious! I know what she needs so I'm helping! YAY!" I HATE THAT LOOK. I was so completely embarrassed I wanted to crawl under a rock. Total mortification.

A) I can't believe my mother broadcast to the entire kitchen that I'm "on a diet" and B) that this lady actually said something and they tried to force these abnormally teeny portions on me! NOT OK! I have a food scale, I can recognize a normal serving size, I KNOW how much I need to eat, YOU don't! AGGGHHH!!! I asked for more rice, and just said "actually, not dieting, just trying to be healthier." I wish I had a smart aleck response ready. Luckily, one of my good friends was at the next station, said I looked great, and gave me a huge helping of broccoli (which she knows I love).

Have any of y'all experienced this kind of embarrassment before (public humiliation, people not getting it, etc)??? Please share!
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Old 03-18-2009, 10:44 PM   #2  
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This isn't quite the same thing because it wasn't public, but when my husband proposed to me, I was SO excited. The first thing my grandmother asks when I tell her the awesome news is if I'm going to lose weight so I'll look good in my wedding dress. It's embarrassing to have the people who are supposed to love and support you point out something that you are already insecure about. Anyway...I'm FULL of smart alecky comments so I said, "Nope. He propsed to a whale. He's gonna marry one." And he did. October 17, 2007, he married a whale who was beside herself with happiness and STRUTTIN' HER STUFF!! I'm losing weight for me because I want to like what I see in the mirror each morning. You don't like the way I look? Tough. There's ALOT of stuff I don't like about other people. Maybe I should wear a shirt...Don't Try to "Help" Me Lose Weight and I Won't Try to "Help" You Learn Some Manners. Deal? Anyway...keep your head up. Remember why you are doing this. YOUR health and YOUR happiness. No one else. Also, you may want to remind your mother that she may only be trying to help, but weight loss is a tough road and insensitive comments from others just make it tougher. If she really wants to help, she'll keep that private.
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Old 03-19-2009, 12:31 AM   #3  
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No one has really said anything to me in public but, I'm a nanny and the other day I was wiping the butt of the oldest of the two kids that I watch (he's 3) after he went to the bathroom, and after wards he looks up at me and was like Stephanie you have a really big belly... Out of the mouth of babes right. I was just like yes, yes I do miller, but it isn't very nice to point out the bad parts of people. Like seriously, when a 3 year old knows your fat, makes me feel real gross.
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Old 03-19-2009, 04:50 AM   #4  
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Miss Scarlett - that is horrible. Go you for asking for what you wanted. I am so glad no one has tried to be the diet police with me yet.

I've probably had a lifetime of bad things said to me, but I'm going to try not to dredge up horrible stuff. A few months ago they had a great sale on organic pasta sauce at the commissary (military grocery store) it was $1 a jar for stuff that is usually $4-5 a jar so I bought a lot of this sauce. Like several cases of it. So the bagger ladies were talking to me and saying that is a LOT of sauce, and then one said, 'Oh, you are going to lose a lot of weight.' Which is funny to me because, like, if I was going to JUST eat pasta sauce for three months every day I'm sure I would lose weight, but what a strange thing to say. But, the women who bag groceries are Korean and so maybe she doesn't have the same cultural sensitivities that I do, or else she was just rude. Either way she didn't get a tip from me. I wish I had said something snappy back but I was kind of blown away at the moment.

Stephanie, aren't three year olds great. At least you can think in your mind, I may be fat, but at least I can wipe my own butt. LOL! I have a slinky dress that I am getting close to being able to wear soon with some serious foundational garments, and I was trying it on today when my 3 y.o. said "Mom, you look like a seed sausage" (cause the pattern looks like seeds). I just hope he doesn't say anything about being a sausage when I do wear it in public.

Jen
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Old 03-19-2009, 10:07 AM   #5  
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At least you can think in your mind, I may be fat, but at least I can wipe my own butt. LOL!
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Old 03-19-2009, 10:31 AM   #6  
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Oh the town I live in is full of people who speak without thinking. I get comments all the time. The most recent was when I was at the grocery the other day. (The same grocery that I shop at every week) I go through the checkout line of the same person every week, but the other day she looks at me and says "wow that baby still isn't here... how much longer do they say you have?" I looked at her and kind of loudly replied "Oh I'm not pregnant I'm just fat but thanks for asking." I think she was more embarrassed than me. But then the little old lady in line behind me says to me really loudly " Honey there isn't a thing wrong with being a big girl (and seeing what I had on the conveyor belt) she goes on to say "and look at all that good food (I had alot of fruits and veggies and some chicken breasts and stuff). You won't be a big girl for long! I bet you'll be pretty in no time!" Everyone at this point was staring and a few were snickering. I left red faced and upset but on a happier note instead of coming home and binging on fattening comfort foods I came home put away my groceries and ate some of that good food that I had just bought. I made myself a salad with grilled chicken.

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Old 03-19-2009, 10:46 AM   #7  
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Quote:
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Miss Scarlett - that is horrible. Go you for asking for what you wanted. I am so glad no one has tried to be the diet police with me yet.

I've probably had a lifetime of bad things said to me, but I'm going to try not to dredge up horrible stuff. A few months ago they had a great sale on organic pasta sauce at the commissary (military grocery store) it was $1 a jar for stuff that is usually $4-5 a jar so I bought a lot of this sauce. Like several cases of it. So the bagger ladies were talking to me and saying that is a LOT of sauce, and then one said, 'Oh, you are going to lose a lot of weight.' Which is funny to me because, like, if I was going to JUST eat pasta sauce for three months every day I'm sure I would lose weight, but what a strange thing to say. But, the women who bag groceries are Korean and so maybe she doesn't have the same cultural sensitivities that I do, or else she was just rude. Either way she didn't get a tip from me. I wish I had said something snappy back but I was kind of blown away at the moment.

Stephanie, aren't three year olds great. At least you can think in your mind, I may be fat, but at least I can wipe my own butt. LOL! I have a slinky dress that I am getting close to being able to wear soon with some serious foundational garments, and I was trying it on today when my 3 y.o. said "Mom, you look like a seed sausage" (cause the pattern looks like seeds). I just hope he doesn't say anything about being a sausage when I do wear it in public.

Jen

I have been blessed with having friends from many cultures. I can say you are soooo on track with thinking it is a cultural difference. Two of my chinese friends last year asked me, "how long have you been fat?" I nearly fell over laughing. They didn't understand just the way I didn't understand them! Also, one of the same ladies asked me at a party recently, "How much money yourra hubband make?" (I am trying to give you an idea of the accent.) LOL..Again, I laugh and say nothing--again she is befuddled as I am.

P.s. How is the pasta sauce diet going...LOL--only teasing!

Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 03-19-2009 at 10:47 AM.
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Old 03-19-2009, 10:47 AM   #8  
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gaarmywife, I want that t-shirt!!! And no worries, head is still high, just beet red! And yay for you rocking on your wedding day no matter what!

newlywed, I had something similar happen to me when I was babysitting a few years ago. Thanks for dredging up that memory! Kids...

Y'all are all so great for sharing! gin & timmyshawn, you have experienced my worst nightmare come true! I'm terrified of grocery store comments- none yet, but I definitely look around to see who is around when I'm checking out!

And finally, I'm pretty sure that "I may be fat, but at least I can wipe my own butt!" may be my new motto. HAHAHAHA! Thanks for that one!
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:23 AM   #9  
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All my weight is in my stomach, I had quite a few people ask me if i was pregnant
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:40 AM   #10  
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Ok so here is my embarassing story...again out of the mouth of babes. My sister has three boys. My sister was also a larger woman and had gastric bypass and is now tiny! Good for her. Anyways my husband and I first met when I was visiting my sister. My husband was a confirmed bachelor and he and my brother in law were in the army together. So my sister cooked and did laundry for my husband sometimes when he was over hanging out with her husband. He was pretty much like a regular member of their family. Well when I was down visiting we met and got along great and decided we would try the long distance thing. One of the times I was down visiting my husband and I were watching my nephews and the middle one commented on how he could not see the TV around my big butt. He then proceeded to ask why I was so fat in front of my husband (who I had recently started dating at the time!!!!) I was so mortified I thought I would die! My husband is the exact opposite he is very thin so it made it so much worse! Before I could stutter out a response my husband looks at my nephew and says it's not nice to say things like that, but you must be nuts little man. You aunt isnt fat she is beautiful. Now I know that indeed I am fat, but when he said that I just knew he was the man for me!
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:48 AM   #11  
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These are all really good. My day yesterday wasn't exactly along the same lines, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

I go walking with my friend at lunch time and lately, she has been bringing this other woman from her work. Doesn't make me happy because I don't want to have to make small talk and be nice EVEN on my lunch hour. I do that enough during the day. Anyway, this other woman brought yet another woman who I didn't know. Oh joy. Anyway, the other new woman knows my friend and asked my friend "Is this your helper?" (meaning me). I restrained myself and my friend said, "Nope, she's my coach", which is not the case, more like she is my coach, but she saved the moment. Anyway, after walking we were all eating lunch and this new person asked me where I work. I told her and she said that at one time, my boss had asked if she wanted to come work at our office. She said, "I told him that he couldn't afford me." This blew me away. I'm sure she was just trying to be cute, but basically she is saying she is worth more than what I make. IDIOT.

Anyway, that's my story!
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:55 AM   #12  
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Slash, don't you just love people that say crap like that..I mean, really..what complete garbage she is to say such a thing. When people say things like that it makes me want to call them out and say, "what exactly do you mean to imply???..I mean, just say it, rather than IMPLYING it!"
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:58 AM   #13  
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I once had a little old Chinese man stop me on the way into the grocery store and suggest I try hoodia for my weight. Even gave me a little note to remind me. I walked in and bought a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and can only admit I didn't eat them all immediately.

Barb
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Old 03-19-2009, 01:20 PM   #14  
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I've actually had the "can't fit in a roller coaster seat" problem happen to me. And to make it ironic, I was at the amusement park in the first place to celebrate my birth-mother losing 200 lbs from a gastric bypass.

On her "to do when I'm thin" list was "ride a rollercoaster", so off we went to the closest park. We had a great time, and we fit in most of the rides just fine. But when we went to my favorite coaster, an older one, I soon found out that I didn't fit. After a moment of trying in vain, I got up, insisted my birth mother ride without me, and had to get off and stand aside. And yes, every single one of the couple hundred people waiting their turn were watching, with that smirk on their face.
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Old 03-19-2009, 02:13 PM   #15  
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Quote:
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Ok so here is my embarassing story...again out of the mouth of babes. My sister has three boys. My sister was also a larger woman and had gastric bypass and is now tiny! Good for her. Anyways my husband and I first met when I was visiting my sister. My husband was a confirmed bachelor and he and my brother in law were in the army together. So my sister cooked and did laundry for my husband sometimes when he was over hanging out with her husband. He was pretty much like a regular member of their family. Well when I was down visiting we met and got along great and decided we would try the long distance thing. One of the times I was down visiting my husband and I were watching my nephews and the middle one commented on how he could not see the TV around my big butt. He then proceeded to ask why I was so fat in front of my husband (who I had recently started dating at the time!!!!) I was so mortified I thought I would die! My husband is the exact opposite he is very thin so it made it so much worse! Before I could stutter out a response my husband looks at my nephew and says it's not nice to say things like that, but you must be nuts little man. You aunt isnt fat she is beautiful. Now I know that indeed I am fat, but when he said that I just knew he was the man for me!
HeidiGirl, that is the best story. I got teary!
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