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Old 03-18-2009, 01:34 PM   #1
FinallyReady
Dawn
 
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Gilbert, AZ
Posts: 18

S/C/G: 240/195/160

Height: 5'9"

Default Being thin is hard!

Hi Everyone!

At my heaviest, I was 240, I'm down to about 195 now, I'm probably a little over 1/2 way to my goal. By no means am I 'thin' but I've lost a lot, and I'm starting to like my body!

So here's my issue; all of the relationships in my life seem to be changing, and I'm not sure I like it!

I recently left a long term relationship that was not good for my confidence at all. I wouldn't really say that he was emotionally abusive, but he definately wasn't supportive. He didn't find me attractive at my heaviest, and had no desire to be a part of my weight loss efforts. I left the relationship when that disinterest morphed into jealousy. In a period of a few months he went from barely knowing I existed to accusing me of flirting with all of his friends!

Well, anyway, I add those details because it's a perfect illustration of how the relationships in my life are changing! It seems to me that the way that I look is completely changing the way people percieve my actions and the things I say!

For example, I'm the queen of tacky jokes, and I work in the construction industry so they are usually well received, but since I look differently now, it seems like my jokes are perceived as flirtations, when really I'm just trying to be my same old goofy self!

Another issue that seems to be affecting my relationships is my confidence. I'm, ummm... new to this whole 'self esteem club' shall we say? The relationship described above, didn't exactly leave me feeling like I was worth a million bucks! I recognize that now, and I'm working to improve my self confidence, but I think in my efforts to feel good about myself I sometimes come off as arrogant. It seems to me like this is causing some of my girlfriends to turn their backs. It's painful, and sometimes it makes me wonder if I wouldn't rather be fat! At least it's familiar, and I know how to deal with people.

Has anyone else had to deal with any of this?

Dawn
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