[YogaGal08]

Ok, so here it is..the date is set for the first wedding of 2009. Now, if it was a regular wedding then I could deal with that but this is going to be the funnest most casual wedding ever. My friends have rented cabins and a camp ground for the 'event' which will involve a full day of fun outdoor activities... including hiking, volley ball and swimming. Now, these are all people that I love very much and that much I don't worry about..but since the last time I've seen any of them I've packed back on 30lbs at least. I would love nothing more than to kick 30lbs in the butt by June 21. The idea of a formal event in a fat girl dress is hard enough...but the idea of a casual active event (which I am honestly looking forward to) that involves shorts and bathing suits and jumping around scares me even more. I don't want to be super thin by then, that isn't the goal or realistic...but I do want to be able to keep up on the hiking, not be uncomfortable because i'm fat and uncomfortable in the summer heat, I don't want to miss out on the swimming for another summer event.

I'm still having trouble honestly getting back into the swing of things and really digging in. I'm desperately trying to find my Chi, my internal motivation. I think I'm almost as afraid at succeeding as I am at failing...I was on a path to success yet again and doing well at it and then I failed that and am right back where I started... literally within 5lbs from where I originally started for 'the first last time' which ended up not being a last time!

I'm sorry to rant, for those of you that read... I'm just so frustrated with myself. Any advice on getting my mind serious and back in the game? Wedding or no wedding I need to get my mind back in it. How do I overcome my failure. Picking yourself back up is harder said than done.

HELP!

[sept15lija]

I don't know how much help I can give you to find your chi, I am in the same boat. Things are meshing well for me right now and I'm feeling good, but hey, I've felt this way before and here I am back at 240 lbs again.

I guess what helps me get into the weight loss mindset is to do a lot of self-talk. Talk to yourself daily about your goals and how much better you're going to feel and how you're going to buy lots of cute clothes (or whatever your motivation is - that's one of mine!!). Picture yourself in smaller clothes. I honestly think visualization and doing mental exercises can help A LOT.

If I were you I would imagine myself at the wedding feeling good about yourself, whether you're 30 lbs lighter or not...as long as you're in a good place and moving toward your goals. I would not necessarily put a number on it, because sometimes then if you don't make it you can feel like giving up. I always did number goals and I'm trying very hard this time from staying away from that.

Anyhow, good luck!!

[dgramie]

Have fun at the wedding! My daughter just got married feb 28th and i feel like i looked great! I had lost 88lbs since my sons wedding 14 months ago. THe problem is..that i ate the whole weekend and then was so out of sorts that i posted a 4lb gain last week. THIs week i have my goals set and am back with it.

[Iheartsushi418]

You know, I don't think you should beat yourself up over splurging at your daughter's wedding. It was a special event, you were around friends and family you don't normally see and you enjoyed yourself. Yes, you probably could have made better choices, but it's done, and hopefully you had a great time and so did she.
For the upcoming wedding I think you should just concentrate on your physical fitness (since it sounds like it's going to be active) and you want to be able to participate in everything. The weight will follow. You would probably benefit from a fitness buddy also (hint!) you know one who is motivated to be in a bathing suit for a long weekend at the beach with her husband around the same time and doesn't want to be harpooned while sunbathing....hmmm

[YogaGal08]

Thanks ladies, it's just so frustrating. I know what i want for the wedding but the problem is so much deeper than an upcoming event. I'm so terrified of succeeding and failing! Well, either way I've got a food plan today and so far I'm just sucking it up and sticking to it. I denied going to lunch with work people and am sticking with my healthy food.

Now, a one on one exercise buddy... I think I could be on board with that! Lets do it!

I also agree, don't beat yourself up...I'll try to make an example and not beat myself up either

[Pandora123a]

I have found that event dieting is a bad option for me. It implies success/failure (I have to lose x pounds by x date) and also implies a beginning and end.

How about working on eating healthy and increasing your exercise so that your stamina and fitness improve? At far heavier than you I have been able to keep up with activities and hiking...the fitness will also likely make the pounds less obvious. (And you will likely lose weight.)

Make sure most of all that you enjoy the wedding. Lyn at Escape from Obesity wrote a wonderful post a while back about how much she missed because she felt she was "too fat." We may all have goals...but we need to live in the present as well.