Oh, I can understand totally what you mean. I've never understood how at some times in my life, I am totally out of control, and then other times, I am totally in control. I have tried to figure out what is different each time, but I'm still not sure why that is.
I have found, though, that the longer I continue to eat healthy, the easier it becomes. Also, losing the whole "i'm dieting, so I need to be perfect" mindset helps tremendously. We have to accept that some days are going to be easy and other days it is going to take every shred of will power we have to make the right choices. And that sometimes we will fail, but it's about progress, not perfection, and picking ourselves up and moving on, without punishing ourselves for a simple mistake.
As my DH said in his wedding vows, there can be no mountains without valleys. Or if you like the movie "parenthood" you need to learn to embrace the rollercoaster of life.
As someone who has struggled at times with depression, and worried during happy times that I will slip into depression when things get tough again, I understand the fear.
But realistically, one can't be happy all the time.
And life can't go smoothly and not present challenges that will challenge your maintenance.
The best we can do is develop alternative coping skills, so we don't binge and try to eat our problems away, and find ways to keep our exercise plan fresh.
Recognize that there WILL be times that will challenge you, and have a back-up plan to deal with those times. They are a fact of life, its that simple.
Its why dieting wont really work, and making lifestyle changes works better for people.
If and when you do go out of the zone, don't beat yourself up, just work to get back to it. ANd don't wait, do it before you regret not doing it!
good luck
Have you ever heard the phrase "life on life's terms"? What I take that to mean is that things happen--things change--today is easy because nothing is rocking the boat, but tomorrow may be different.
It's all about how folks react to what's happening. When something upsetting occurs, even if it's a small thing, one approach is to step back and just see your reaction for what it is--"Oh, I'm feeling X about this"--rather than being carried away by the reaction into eating something off plan.
"X" could be boredom, too, not just upset or frustration or stress. Sometimes a hidden thought after a few days is, "Am I going to have to do this forever?" How dreary that can sound! A good answer for that is, "Not forever, but for now."
So one strategy you might try is to treat every day as the first day of your program--and whatever comes along, you're going to stay with it for today. Make your actions independent from whether you're in the zone or not.
I have read on here many times (from those much wiser than I) that the difference is... "commitment".... and I have come to completely agree with this concept.
Commitment will get you through when motivation will many times wane.
It takes dogged commitment and knowing reality that we ALL will slip, stumble or fall in our journey to a better and healthier lifestyle!
It was only when I realized that I have to make a life long change in my life and not just diet until I lose what I want and then go back to my old habits and way of eating that things really started to change for me.
If you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going ... thats what I envision when I think of commitment.
I know exactly what you mean. I lost the bulk of my weight in a little over a year, and for that time I was focused and in "the zone." Since then? Not so much. I binge sometimes, or give in to treats sometimes, I let my exercise slack a little too, sometimes. I got to a low of 173 pounds (122 pounds lost) and in a year gained about 20 pounds of it back.
I've accepted the fact that my "zone" motivation will come and go. But I don't intend to give up on all the healthy choices I still make -- every single day -- even when I'm not in "the zone."
In other words, I might not be in "the zone" but that doesn't mean I'm completely OUT of it. Or maybe a better way to put it is that I'm trying to see this not as a black and white issue. Either in or out of the zone, on or off plan. Rather, there's a continuum of healthy behaviors (and unhealthy ones) and mine have edged away from the extreme I was at a couple of years ago. But that doesn't mean I've seesawed all the way to the other side!
And I do think commitment to myself is an important part of the process. Even if I eat a donut one day, that doesn't mean I shouldn't throw away my bag of raw veggies, skip out on the gym and sit myself down in front of a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I made a mistake with the donut, perhaps, and now it's time to move on.
All that being said -- I liked being in the zone. I liked the control. And I had a feeling at the time that one donut would do irrevocable harm. Of course that's false... but at the same time, once I gave myself permission to eat off plan and realized the world didn't end and I didn't gain back 100 pounds, eating those foods got a little easier...
I guess in conclusion, I feel that this weight loss and maintenance is a balancing act. I'm glad I CAN go out to a nice restaurant have a little wine and split a dessert and know the world won't end. And I'm equally glad that I have a body that I respect more and that can do more. And I'm doing this for life -- and that means that sometimes I will make decisions that aren't perfect...
The zone is temporary. But being out of the zone is temporary too. When it's easy, it's easy and when it's difficult, it's difficult. That's just the way it is. I've learned to really appreciate the days/weeks I am in the zone. I've learned that on the days/weeks I am not in the zone, it's okay to white knuckle it through. Because in the zone or out of the zone, the behaviors are what counts....not the emotion behind them. So when I'm out of the zone, I still eat as best as I can and exercise as best as I can and accept that even if I am not "perfect", hitting it 80 or 90% is far better than falling off my plan altogether.
In other words, I might not be in "the zone" but that doesn't mean I'm completely OUT of it. Or maybe a better way to put it is that I'm trying to see this not as a black and white issue. Either in or out of the zone, on or off plan. Rather, there's a continuum of healthy behaviors (and unhealthy ones) and mine have edged away from the extreme I was at a couple of years ago. But that doesn't mean I've seesawed all the way to the other side!
I love this way of looking at it! I am a really black-and-white person and so it really didn't occur to me to look at "the zone" this way; I was thinking that I either was in it or not! So thanks for this alternative way of looking at it.
Continuous and determined approach is necessary to engage yourself in the process of weight loss to achieve the desired results.Sometimes things seem to lag than your expectations. Try to take immediate action to restart to your programmed approach with discipline.Prioritize on weight loss and put other things on standstill till you seem to be back on track. Stick on to your schedule and analyze your feedbacks regularly.
afraid of not staying in 'the zone'
