I don't know if I've shared this but I have a VERY rare combination of blood clotting disorders. I have Anti phospholipid antibody syndrome COMBINED with Protein S deficiency and Protein C deficiency. AAS is rare on it's own (1 in 300,000 people) but combine it? It's almost unheard of (apparently I am the ONE AND ONLY case in Canada they know about) and it's a chance of 1 in 10,000,000. I won the genetic lottery some might say.
What does this mean? Well it sucks for fertility. I had to be on twice daily injectable blood thinners for the nine months of pregnancy. But more importantly it means I have a high risk of dying of stroke related issues. Blood clotting issues. At an early age IF my weight remains high. The risk climbs and climbs with every extra pound (or cheeseburger if you will!)
So for me? Losing weight is about being able to live a long and healthy life. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I want to be a mommy. I am not healthy enough to conceive right now (or even have periods) but even if I could, I wouldn't want to take the chance of harming the baby. Then once I have a child I want to be able to play without losing my breath and never have them be embarassed of me. I also want to live enough to watch them grow, learn, get married, become a parent, etc...
It maybe vain, but for ONCE I would like to be a guys first choice. Or to feel confident that the man I'm with is happy and not have people look at us and think why is he with HER? That is my main goal....then of course health. lol
My reason should be health - history of heart disease and cancer in the family - and sometimes it is but mostly it's so that I fit in plane seats and feel invisibly normal.
When I was off plan, my heart started to race even if I was sitting. If I laid a certain way in bed, my heart would race. At the same time, my father had to have a cardiac cath. As much as I love eating whatever I wanted cheaply, I hated going to bed. the feeling was so horrible. Half my heart racing was probably stress but it stopped within a week of healthy eating.
Also, the heavy weight I've had for years has caused my left knee to crunch every time I move it. I know from experience that losing the weight is the only way to get rid of it. I even started to have bad knee problems again when I was off plan.
I want to feel comfortable in my skin, and I don't at this weight. I want to feel what it's like to just LIVE, and not always worry about my weight. And I want to fit into smaller clothes!!
Both my parents have adult onset diabetes all due to their lifestyles and neither of them are morbidly obese. I am just now reaching about the same size as my mom. So I want to prevent that from happening.
BUT my main reason for starting this journey is because of a friend of mine. She was 35 and diagnosed with an advanced stage of melanoma. She fought hard and won her first battle. I watched her struggle with her mortality, what life would be like for her husband and 2 young boys without her and it was painful to watch let alone live. It struck me that I am killing myself AND chose to do so! There she was fighting and struggling with something completely out of her hands and I chose to eat foods that were killing me. Than and there I decided to change. Another friend ordered Nutrisystem to lose 20lbs of vacation weight and I thought no better time than to jump on the band wagon with her, at least we'd have each other for support. She has lost her 20lbs...and looks awesome! I have 58 more lbs to go before I reach my 110lb goal and I KNOW I can do it!!
As unhealthy as I was...the real reason I started loosing weight was pure vanity. I had to buy a size 20 for the first time in my life. I couldn't shop at normal stores and I had zero chance at a man looking my way.
Loosing the weight has changed things considerably!
Now...
I love being off all the meds!
I love beeing able to feel my muscles after excersise.
My mood is stable!
I love what healthy eating does for my skin tone and texture.
I love being able to squat down to pick somthing up and know that I will be able to get back up!
I no longer fear stairs!
Shopping is fun again!
I have s few reasons.. My 3 sons is tops on my list! My goal is to be a healthy active grandmother. I do not have any grand-kids right now. ( hopefully that will be many years down the road)
I also want to feel human again. Being so over weight made me feel like I was not even a woman. Which that is so hard for me to explain.. Just not girly.. kind of like I was not allow to feel that way.
I lost the first 30 pounds because I promised my Mom on her deathbed that I wouldn't repeat her mistake by living my life full of fat regrets. Now, one of my biggest motivators is my age. I turn 45 in July and I've decided that I want to be like my Dad. He is 65 and has the stamina and health of a man my age. He rocks! No rocking chair or motorized cart for me. I want to enjoy my senior years.
I want to be able to walk. That is the first thing that came to my mind. My mobility was being affected by my weight. I had to ask myself the question, "Is this food worth giving up my mobility?"
You have lost 75 pounds since the end of September? That is like ...one two three four ...only four months!!! You are a weight loss wizard!
Congratulations and I can't wait to cheer you across that 299 border!
Why I am losing weight:
In the front of my mind, it is all about buying cool cloths again and not feeling like a freak and being able to hike with my family. But underneath that is a deep streak of fear and the words "heart attack" and "stroke." Sometimes, tapping into that darker, truer thinking helps me stay motivated.
WHY do YOU want to lose weight?
