Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-21-2009, 05:43 PM   #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
MissVitality's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 452

S/C/G: 294/230/168

Height: 5"6

Default In the beginning.....

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

Here endeth the lesson.
MissVitality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2009, 09:19 PM   #2  
Senior Member
 
chunckymonkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 211

S/C/G: 204/188/120

Height: 5'4"

Default

Wow! Lot's to think about and beautifully written...Well Done!
chunckymonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2009, 09:22 PM   #3  
Mentally ready
 
Beautiful Ace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 1,273

S/C/G: 314/266/165

Height: 5'8

Default

Haha, that's a good read.
Beautiful Ace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2009, 06:25 PM   #4  
=D
 
mazza's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Posts: 2,071

Default

Haha. Nice
mazza is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2009, 08:38 AM   #5  
wishin' for sun!
 
ronni62's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,542

S/C/G: 260/see slider/135

Height: 5'1"

Default

Very good! We really messed it up, didn't we.
ronni62 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 08:42 PM   #6  
2 wheels is plenty :D
 
chick_in_the_hat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 3,099

S/C/G: 264/195/150

Height: 5'4"

Default

chick_in_the_hat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 08:53 PM   #7  
WorkingOut!
 
diary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 284

S/C/G: 217/180/145

Height: 5'5"

Default

Thanks - That was hilarious!
diary is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:45 PM   #8  
yes girl
 
onestar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 374

S/C/G: 201.4/179.8/130

Height: 5'0"

Default

cool
onestar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 10:45 PM   #9  
Better,Faster,Stronger
 
Keldug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 79

S/C/G: 275/ticker/175

Height: 5'9

Default

so true huh!
Keldug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 04:12 PM   #10  
Senior Member
 
JackieRn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 510

S/C/G: 144/118.4/115

Height: 5"4

Default

That is really good, makes you think.
JackieRn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2009, 07:08 AM   #11  
Senior Member
 
Randi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 157

S/C/G: 262/See Ticker/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

That was great - this is a definite have to share....

Last edited by Randi; 01-30-2009 at 07:08 AM.
Randi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2009, 07:38 PM   #12  
Senior Member
 
flowingair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 236

S/C/G: 225/223/150

Height: 5'5''

Default

Good thoughts-that health care thing is really scary
flowingair is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:27 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.