I don't recognize my reflection...but I still feel fat. - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

kelly315 · 01-15-2009, 12:36 AM

So I was in a public restroom the other day, and walked past a mirror, and thought there was someone else in there, because I simply didn't recognize myself. I looked...at least, to me... like what I would consider a "normal" person. Far from skinny, but not the same hugely obese person I used to be. I used to feel like I had some sort of handicap because of it, and that it not only made me uncomfortable but also made those around me uneasy to be around it (I've noticed that many people do in fact have a hard time being around someone who's clinically obese).

So, that was a really cool and surreal feeling, to kind of be shocked into seeing the new person I'm becoming (and I've still got plenty more trail to follow).

The weirdest thing about it all is that I still feel fat.(I know a lot of people including doctors would say I am). Insanely fat, and that feeling of handicap is still there. Sometimes, I still worry about where I'll fit or if something will break if I sit on it, even though this has become much less of a problem. I was 40 pounds thinner than this only two years ago, but it never felt like this...I think the enormity of becoming almost 300 pounds has really sunk in.

Has anyone else had this experience, when you've lost a signficant amount of weight?

hotnewspirits · 01-15-2009, 02:03 AM

When I went from 170 to 140 the first time, I had a friend take a picture at a barbeque and I was looking at them online and I saw one girl's back and it wasn't until I looked at the outfit I was in in another picture that I realized it was MY BACK. and it was a THIN back. If I hadn't been 100% sure that this skinny person was wearing my jeans I would not have believe it was me from behind. That was a rockin' time for my *** haha.

teawithsunshine · 01-15-2009, 03:35 AM

I know exactly how you feel... I've lost 112 lbs to date and I still feel fat, even though when I recently looked in a full-length mirror trying on clothes at the mall, I could tell I looked a LOT slimmer than when I was originally starting out at 307 lbs!

Thighs Be Gone · 01-15-2009, 05:09 AM

I still "feel" fat too. I guess I was big for so long I am just not accustomed to a size 8, (even size 6) body yet. Seeing photographs of myself frequently help. I still have problem areas too that contribute to my feelings of being fat..namely my THIGHS and my lower abdomen. Having two babies in two years wasn't kind to me.

KforKitty · 01-15-2009, 05:43 AM

I don't think I feel fat but almost insignificant I suppose. I think people seeing me for the first time now wouldn't give me a second glance which I suppose is a good thing. I'm neither fat not skinny, neither pretty nor ugly, neither tall nor short. I try to be well groomed but I know I'm conservative in my style and unremarkable in my appearance.

Sorry, this sounds more depressing than I meant it to be but these changes please the one person that matters and that's ME.

Kitty

Heather · 01-15-2009, 07:43 AM

Since losing over 100 pounds, I have been able to look in the mirror and simultaneously see myself as fat and thin! Thin because I'm over 100 pounds lighter than I used to be. My body is an entirely different shape. Fat because I've still got quite a bit of fat and some loose skin. It's a very bizarre feeling.

Jacquie668 · 01-15-2009, 09:46 AM

I'm still on my weight loss journey and I remember walking out in the world and looking at my reflection when I was 340+ pounds and my heart sank. I looked like something from the blob and I was disgusted with myself.

A week or so ago I made an impromptu decision to go to a mall, which I haven't stepped into one in years, and of course this particular store I was at has mirrors everywhere. So, I did glance and I ended up staring in disbelief because now I'm 280 pounds and I looked like a "normal" person that is just fat. I mean I just looked different and it was really hard for me to accept that the person in the mirror was me. I'm still big, obese, whatever, but yet I feel more accepted I guess. I mean I even waved my hand to make sure it was me hahaha.

I think part of our issue is that we often merge body image with our physical state, meaning what we see in the mirror can shock us, surprise us, or we just flat out don't agree with it. Our bodies are a physical thing and our perception of ourselves is deeply rooted in our emotions and insecurities. So, when we look into a mirror we refuse to accept what we are seeing and thus we still feel "fat."

A part of me still feels like I'm 340 pounds and that part of me is very negative. The new part, that I'm struggling to accept, is celebrating my weight loss. It is almost like two parts of me battling it out, so when I look in the mirror am I really looking or just going through the motions so I don't look like a freak in public? lol

For me a bit part of this journey is learning how to love myself, inside and out.

lumifan4ever · 01-15-2009, 11:05 AM

I remember the first time i really thought i looked normal...not fat, not thin...normal. I was walking downtown and happened to look at the reflection in the store windows as i was passing by. I saw a normal looking person walking beside me. I couldn't even really see my face or clothing colors...it was just kind of like a shadow type thing...but this girl looked "normal". Now, i don't feel so normal. I'm still probably normal...but i don't really feel like it anymore.

scrappinRN · 01-15-2009, 11:11 AM

I know that what I see and then think to myself I can't be this big and I still don't always get it. But when I do look in the mirror I have to turn away b/c i realize what I see is not what I want to see. The mirror is the

.

kelly315 · 01-15-2009, 12:19 PM

Thanks everyone for responding- it's nice to known that I'm not the only one.

FB · 01-15-2009, 12:35 PM

When I look down at my body, without the benefit of a mirror - I see the me I became accustomed to seeing in the mirror these last few years - 295 pounds of me.

When I look in the mirror I see me, the current me, the me I imagined I was at 295. At 295 I could get by thinking I looked normal - as long as there wasn't a mirror present.

What a mind flip!

Lori Bell · 01-15-2009, 12:39 PM

My sister took a bunch of pictures at Christmas and posted them on her facebook. I was looking at them when I came to one of some average, normal looking girl and though she must have accidentally added a picture to the album that didn't belong. After a closer look I realized it was my house in the background...it was ME. It was a shock. And I too still feel fat sometimes, especially when I try on clothes that look like they should fit and they are too tight....BUT, technically, I am fat, matter of fact I'm still obese, but not for long.

kiki100 · 01-15-2009, 01:41 PM

I totally get what you're saying FB! At 307 I would look in the mirror and see a reflection that didn't look THAT big. But when I saw a picture of me I saw what I REALLY looked like I was disgusted. So now 48lbs lighter I just see who I always thought I was in the first place. My clothes have gone from a size 24 to an 18 so I believe I've come this far but I don't see the difference in the mirror.

I'm almost half way to my goal of being under 200lbs so I wonder who I'll see when I get there!!

heather88 · 01-15-2009, 01:57 PM

I'm really excited to get there . . . I have been fat my WHOLE life, but when I started eating really unhealthy foods and pounds of sugar on a daily basis is when I became extremely obese. I can see myself getting down to being overweight but I cannot see myself skinny, I can't even imagine it!

RangerChic · 01-15-2009, 02:51 PM

I think most if not all of us go through this. While I know I'm looking a lot better, I still can't see myself as thinner normally. Once in awhile, I can see it, but I still view myself as the "fat girl." Totally a mental thing I know, but something I'm hoping eventually goes away.