Needless to say, this is bathroom humor, so let me put in a few returns before I start ...
THE POO LIST
GHOST POO: You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper but none in the toilet.
TEFLON COATED POO: It comes out so slick and clean that you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to make sure you did it.
POOEY POO: This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. The poo leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
SECOND THOUGHT POO: Your all done wiping and you're about to stand up when you realise it... you've got some more.
POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POO: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
WEIGHT WATCHERS POO: You poo so much, you lose several pounds.
RIGHT NOW POO: You'd better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting to the toilet. Usually has it's head out before you can get your pants down.
KING KONG OR DUNNY CHOCKER POO: This one is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coathanger works well. This kind of poo usually happens at someone else's house.
CORK POO (also known as floaters): Even after the third flush, it's still floating in the bowl. Oh no! How do I get rid of it!
WET CHEEKS POO: The poo hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets you all wet.
WISH POO: You sit there all cramped up, fart a few times, but no poo.
CEMENT BLOCK POO: (with extra bluemetal): You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.
SNAKE POO: This poo is fairly soft about as thick as your thumb, and at least 3 feet long.
BEER DRINK AND INDIAN CURRY POO: This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell too bad, but this on is BAD ... usually this one happens at someone else's house and there's someone standing outside waiting to use the bathroom.
MEXICAN/ VINDALOO POO (also called screamers): You'll know it's alright to eat again when your bum stops burning.
Oh my god, I'm crying so hard my head hurts. I just re-read it to my fiance and I was crying all over again. I even cried reading the comments. Thank you so much, what a way to brighten up my day
The Poo List
and 
at the same time. Absolutely hilarious.
