[Hermit Girl]

I have noticed that for the last few times any numbers on my weight ticker have changed, it has only been the goal weight. Bottom line : if the goal weight seems too far off, it's going to psychologically make a difference when I see it.

I'm middle-aged now ~ 46 yrs ~ and last time I was in my healthy weight range, I was in my 30's. Since turning 40 , the first few years of rapid weight gain sent me into depression and denial, and well, I just haven't made that much of an effort to improve the situation. Fact is, I hardly know what a proper goal weight should be at this time. When I was in my most athletic prime, of mid thirties I weighed between 120 and 130. In my twenties I guess 120 had always been my goal if I went on a diet (a cyclist, I was always very muscular, in my legs and butt) I climbed Mt Whitney at 38 years old weighing 135, and I would love to weigh that again ! 140 lbs use to be my "OH MY GAWD I"M SO FAT" upper threshold, but now I'd do anything to weigh that much even. Seriously, I think for my height and age , I am clueless as to what I ought to weigh. Should I change my ticker to 140 ? I had a close friend (male) say he thought I should weigh around 130. What I 'should' weigh, what I fantasize weighing, and what I can maintain are all different.

Maybe some of you can relate? Lets talk about it.

[kaplods]

I don't think anyone can tell you what you should weight, or even what the healthiest weight for you would be (though a conversation with your doctor may help you decide).

There are so many factors that go into making a good choice of goal. What you believe you can accomplish, what health problems you have or are wishing to avoid, your family history of some diseases, how much exercise/activity you are wanting to achieve/maintain...

When I asked my doctor for my goal slip for TOPS, I suggested 200 lbs as my goal. Knowing it wasn't an optimal weight for me, but it felt like a weight, I thought I'd be able to maintain for a while before deciding whether to go lower. My doctor actually suggested a higher goal, so I chose 250. Do I think I will leave it there? Nope, however maintaining a loss of 144 lbs would be such an amazing feat, that if I did decide to stop there, I wouldn't feel bad about deciding not to go further. I've left the days behind me when I felt weight was all or nothing and only absolute successfully reaching some weight chart's "ideal weight" mattered.

I think you also have to remember that your goal today doesn't have to be your goal tomorrow. If you want to set 150 (or even 175) as your goal weight for a while - there's nothing wrong with that. Maintain it for a while and THEN decide whether you want to lose a little more.

There is no magic number to this. As long as you're not venturing into dangerously low weight goals, you should continue to keep going until you're ready to stop. And if you're ready to stop before some chart tells you to, that's ok.

[Hermit Girl]

Good Advice, thanks !

[hopefuldreamer]

I like kaplods' advice. I think it's ok to set a goal weight a little on the high side, hang out there a while, and then decide if you think you should lose more. I think that's more realistic than setting it excessively low.

I've set my goal weight relatively high, and maybe I'll decide to lose more, but for now,that's enough. I weighed a VERY muscular 148 in high school (actually was a competitive weightlifter at that point believe it or not) but I know I am kidding myself to think I could ever weigh that again. For now, my pre-baby weight is enough.

I'm taking things slow and steady, trying to make changes that can really stick. I lost a half pound last week. Not a lot, but I'd rather do that and have it last than drop 3 pounds only to gain 4 back later.

Maybe set short term and long term goals. One of our members (can't remember name! sorry...) has a long term "goddess" goal ticker, and a short term ticker. I take it 5 lbs at a time. Now, I'm aiming for 215.

Good luck. Group hug!!


hopefuldreamer

[dolphinlvr]

I used to do Weight watchers and this was the chart they used. This is what I used to determine my goal number. But like the other gals said you can shorten your goal if it makes it easier for you to achieve and then once you start getting close to your new goal, change it to the original goal. Just my two cents


Height Weight Ranges (in pounds)

(Column 2)Minimum for all adults (BMI=20) (Column 3)Recommended maximum for ages up to 25 years (column 4)Recommended maximum for ages between 25 & 45 years (column 5)Maximum for all Adults (45+) (BMI=25)
4' 9" 92 106 111 116
4' 10" 96 110 115 120
4' 11" 99 114 119 124
5' 102 118 123 128
5' 1" 106 121 127 132
5' 2" 109 125 131 137
5' 3" 113 130 135 141
5' 4" 117 134 140 146
5' 5" 120 138 144 150
5' 6" 124 142 148 155
5' 7" 128 147 153 160
5' 8" 132 151 158 164
5' 9" 135 155 162 169
5' 10" 139 160 167 174
5' 11" 143 165 172 179
6' 147 169 177 184
6' 1" 152 174 182 189
6' 2" 156 179 187 195
6' 3" 160 184 192 200
6' 4" 164 189 197 205
6' 5" 169 194 202 211

Weight ranges are used to recommend appropriate weights for different groups of people. Weight Watchers uses ranges based on Body Mass Index (BMI). Based on our Weight Ranges table, a recommended weight is in the general range of about 20 pounds from the low- to the high-end of the range.

This just a guideline as you see it says " a recommended weight is in the general range of about 20 pounds from the low- to the high-end of the range." So if you are 5' 6" then to me that means I could be 175to 135 which gives you quite a stretch. Me I think I would be comfortable at 150 or 155.

Hope this helps!

Karen

[PhotoChick]

My goal weight has changed as I've lost weight and gotten into better shape.

I'm 40 and I knew when I started losing (at 240) that I wasn't ever going to be 120 lbs again. I was pretty sure that I could hit 135, which is what I weighed in college, but at the time losing 100 lbs seemed like pie-in-the-sky.

So I compromised. I set my goal at 170, which is what I weighed when I got married, 10 years ago. I figured that was something achievable and reasonable. When I dropped under 200, I realized that I could do more, so I set my goal back to 140. As I've lost more, I've dropped my goal even further and now (as you can see from my ticker), it's 130.

Right now I think 130 is reasonable, reachable, and not overwhelming. Maybe when I hit 150 or 140 I'll drop it even more. Or maybe I won't.

One thing that I am noticing is that now that I'm in the 160s my goals have become less about the weight itself, and more about other things. Lately I have 2 size 10 dresses I want to fit into ... so that's a goal. I want to squat 60 lbs - there's a big goal. I want to see more definition in my shoulders and back - another goal.

I think for most people starting out on a diet losing weight is the only goal they see. For those people who really change their lifestyles to eat better and be healther, the more they learn, the more they begin to incorporate other goals into their plan and it becomes a series of overall achievements, rather than just a number on a scale.

.

[Hermit Girl]

Photochick ~ I think you're right about when one is overweight, that's all they see > the fat, thus, the diet. Not slender or light enough to get back on my bicycles at this point and make goals with the riding, as I use to sort of do , or for clothes to matter much , etc. I agree, once at a certain threshold of obesity, one gets apathetic about it all. I know I have.

klmetz ~ the weight chart still puts my weight in a category I don't believe is me. My shape and weight are not 'normal' that way. I am very dense and muscular, so I'm going to set my goal for what would be considered off that chart, and I'm not going to feel it is a bad decision. Maybe one day I'll be in that chart's range, but not this year.

I have changed my ticker goal to a weight I last knew to be a reasonable weight for riding, and I know I still cared about how I looked, and my husband wasn't entirely sure I was that overweight. I was in denial at the time I was 149, and it was probably for only a blink of an eye as I was gaining rapidly into the 150's then 160's then 170's. Crazy denial ! So, 140's is what I want to see, even if the highest number. 149 for now, and you can believe seeing only "26 lb to go. Keep going!" sounds a heck of a lot more exciting than 45 lbs to go. Thanks.

[momforever]

I love what I read through this post. While I set mini goals per week that I wanted to lose, I never thought about setting a weight goal so that the ultimate goal is overwhelming!

Now that I am in my mid 40's (and hopefully wiser) I know it is more important to healthy and eat good foods. My down fall is junk food, portion sizes and not making time to exercise. For me, my first goal is to evaluate my priorities and move exercising to the top of the list! I know I have the time---I have done it before!

Thanks allowing me to read along!

[Beth61]

In my thrities, when I weighed 136 pounds I felt the best I had in my entire life - body-image wise. That certainly seems a far way off from where I am at today. I sure don't feel as fat as the scales say though, but remember when I weighed 145 and I thought I was HUGE. Later down the road - 155 and then 165 felt like 145 had.... now if I was 165 I'd probably throw a party :-) Boy do times change... and weight loss goals right along with it. Now I just want to feel good about how I look - be healthy and well... I'll know it (my actual weight goal) when I get there and what this final number is on the scales, well that is yet to be determined.

[hopefuldreamer]

I think in all our talk about our weight in the past, we also have to deal with the other aspects of our looks that have changed, and come to terms with those. Even if I dropped 60 pounds today, I would still look 40 something. I've got a couple grey hairs, a few weird rogue stray hairs on my face, the wrinkles around my eyes are noticable, and my skin texture is just not what it used to be (large pores). I've got stretch marks, and spider veins that came with the kids and never left. None of that changes even if I lose weight.

Part of my task at 42 is to learn to love myself as-is, even if there are things I'm not thrilled about.

hopefuldreamer

[Hermit Girl]

Originally Posted by hopefuldreamer

I think in all our talk about our weight in the past, we also have to deal with the other aspects of our looks that have changed, and come to terms with those. Even if I dropped 60 pounds today, I would still look 40 something. I've got a couple grey hairs, a few weird rogue stray hairs on my face, the wrinkles around my eyes are noticable, and my skin texture is just not what it used to be (large pores). I've got stretch marks, and spider veins that came with the kids and never left. None of that changes even if I lose weight.

Part of my task at 42 is to learn to love myself as-is, even if there are things I'm not thrilled about.

hopefuldreamer

I hear you loud and clear darlin' !!! I'm really loving reading the posts on this thread. This is the reason I stay on the 40's something forum, because I just can't relate to the typical posts of the younger girls who want nothing more in life than to be rail thin , and have not experienced life's humilities like we 40's girls have gotten a little too use to already ; the rogue hairs, skin that's shrivelling, spots on our complexion that don't go away, weight that seems to have gained permanant title on our bodies, hot flashes from nowhere, you name it......... ! All those other things just sort of put It All into perspective, don't you think ?

[lovnmom]

Hi Hermit Girl, I'm also 5'2" and when I first started losing "this time" I weighed 175 soooooo, we have a great deal in common...
My first goal : too eat fruits and veggies every day, drink 2 quarts of water every day, and move SOME every day...
2nd goal : to reach 150#...I maintained that for about 4 months
3rd goal : 140#.....I maintained that for about 3 months
4th goal : 135#...I hit that just a couple days ago and I'm planning to maintain that until November and then try to reach 125# (if it takes until November '09 or even '10 that's ok...I'm 44 I'm not planning any big ta do)
I've found that learning to maintain each small loss has made it possible FOR ME to go on and lose more...both mentally and physically it has helped tremendously
but yes, love yourself and aim for happy and healthy rather than svelt and sexy and you and the hubs both will find you svelt and sexy!!
Good luck to you and your hubby!

[Hermit Girl]

Originally Posted by lovnmom

Hi Hermit Girl, I'm also 5'2" and when I first started losing "this time" I weighed 175 soooooo, we have a great deal in common...

Yes, our starting weight are the same. I use to have 125 as my goal weight, but have had the 175 to 125 goal for too long without change. I figure, if I bring up my goal weight, I am going to not feel so overwhelmed.

[hopefuldreamer]

Originally Posted by lovnmom

My first goal : too eat fruits and veggies every day, drink 2 quarts of water every day, and move SOME every day...
2nd goal : to reach 150#...I maintained that for about 4 months
3rd goal : 140#.....I maintained that for about 3 months
4th goal : 135#...I hit that just a couple days ago and I'm planning to maintain that until November and then try to reach 125# (if it takes until November '09 or even '10 that's ok...I'm 44 I'm not planning any big ta do)

I really love this, and appreciate the voice of experience. Thank you, lovnmom!!

I think to plan a period of maintaining is a good thing. This allows new habits and new metabolisms (is that a word?? LOL) to really settle in and get permanent.

I also love the non-weight goals. (like the fruits/vegs/water) That is do-able!! I need a veggie/fruit goal. I don't eat as much fruit as I should. I have an easier time with veggies cooked into dinner (we frequently eat vegetarian meals, but not exclusively... tonight is eggplant mykonos since I'm drowning in eggplant and tomatoes)

Here's to all the 40 somethings who have gained wisdom!!

hopefuldreamer

[lovnmom]

hopeful, The fruits and veggies, water and exercise was my only goal for about a year. It really helped me get my head on straight that I was doing this for my health not the size of my jeans...it's taken me 27 months to lose the 40 pounds...some would think that's way too slow, but I'm able to do this and my life got better and easier in just the first week...the food, water and exercise just gave me more energy right away even though I was still 175# @ 5'2". I do believe metabolisms is a word if not you and I both know what you mean and every time I let my body adjust for a time my weightloss gets a nice jump start when I try to lose again...I do most of my losing by walking more and eating "cleaner" not necessarily fewer calories. I am loving my 40's. There are so many things that used to seem so important that are just insignificant now. I'm much more relaxed. I don't spend time comparing myself to others anymore. I now look back at journals (journalling my feelings has been a huge help in the weightloss journey) from years past and go, "yeah I'm better than I was then!" And that's all the matters. So what is eggplant mykonos. If it has eggplant and toms it must be good.
Have a great weekend!