Awwwww Curvey.... I know how you feel!
First of all
It's good to have you! The more you come here, the more you'll realize that we are all struggling to meet the same goal: weight loss. Some are doing it for health reasons, some for vanity reasons, some for both reasons plus one or two others!
I had surgery in 2005, & as a result, lost about 20 pounds - then I exercised/dieted the rest off - I went from 178 to 138 over the course of about 8 months (see avatar). I felt great, & life was good. Then I reinjured my left shoulder (old rotator cuff injury) & couldn't exercise for 12 weeks. Then I got 2 herniated disks in my neck.... then I got blood clots in my lungs.... and I gained about 50 pounds.
So all my hard work just went to **** in a handbasket!
But here I am again... struggling again... and I have realized that I will probably be struggling for the rest of my life. If not struggling to LOSE weight, then struggling to MAINTAIN the loss. I don't think it ever gets easier... but it's ALWAYS worth it.
Good luck to you! - you CAN do this! - the best advice I can give you is COME HERE OFTEN! - even if you don't post a lot, READ! - read, read, read! - there's so many women here (& a few guys!) who are just awesome & inspirational - and remember... NEVER SAY DIE(t)!