Last week I went up 1 pound. I know it was the week after my TOM and also I’ve been strength training. I know I’ve lost inches but….tonight is my meeting and I am getting nervous about not losing again or worse, going up another pound.
To be truthful I am trying my own approach rather than weighing and measuring every little thing out. So…that could be against me. But, I want to teach myself to eat healthy by listening to my body. I can’t be trapped in a weight loss bubble for the rest of my life. I don’t want to measure every morsel that I put in my mouth. I know a large piece of cake is bad for me (Or a small one!). I know a full plate of pasta is not a serving size. I get it. I don’t go into denial when it comes to portions. I am a weight loss guru. I know the theories, I read up on the myths and facts. I am not just flapping my gums here. I have to be a guru because I practice this weight loss thing every day! So….my attempt at weight loss has been less is more! Eat vegetables….listen to your body and don’t over do it. It’s been working so far. As of the last week in April I’ve lost 25 pounds.
But is this approach enough?
I have a busy summer ahead of me and this fall is even more crazy. I am getting married, friends are getting married, there are birthdays to go to and celebrations galore. I feel confident that I won’t over do it but is that really..REALLY enough? Is diligence the only way to live and lose weight? I don’t understand how I could eat like a horse and not exercise at all before and gain the pounds like 10 pounds a year but now I am exercising and eating better and watching ever morsel I eat and I feel like if I gain .4 or a pound of weight I am a failure. I don’t want to be like this and I don’t want to be this concerned but I think I have to be or I’ll give up. Instead of fat weighing on me as flab it weighs on my mind. I’ve heard it all…”This is a Journey”….”This won’t be easy”….”It didn’t come on in a month why should it take a month to come off?” I know this isn’t an over night solution. Believe me, if someone said…”Do what you’re doing and it will happen” I’d be satisfied. I’d prefer an ETA but I guess that won’t happen.
I hate the stress of it. I hate worrying about it every waking hour.
Sure! There’ve been some great things that have happened. I feel better. I can roll over instead of breeching and flopping like Shamu…My back isn’t as bad…my knee is better. I finally feel like I am starting to have more energy. I crave exercise. My pants are getting looser.
It’s just the nerves I get ever week before my weigh in that bother me. I hate the overwhelming disappointment when the scale doesn’t go the direction you want it to. (Yes I know all the reason why. I know the scale doesn’t weigh only fat and you have water). I mean I pray that I have a good poop so it doesn’t contribute to my total weight for that week!! Who thinks like that?!!
I have a feeling more than me....