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Old 07-16-2008, 08:57 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,860

S/C/G: 285.2/285.2/185

Height: 5'9"


I think you definitely have to think about whether you're ready mentally and physically to have a baby, and whether your relationship is ready as well. I got married young (21) but we knew we wanted to wait a while until we were more mature and we had more financial stability. Well, when we started trying we found out that my body wasn't ready physically, and we tried for many years without success. Now I'm pregnant for the first time at 36, 15 years after we got married. So just remember that no matter how much you plan, things may not go the way you want and you'll deal with it however it comes.

This isn't true for everyone, but my body would not get pregnant until I got to a healthy weight, so you have to think about whether you're physically able to do it. I know lots of women who got pregnant at really high weights, but my obesity actually caused infertility. When I finally got pregnant, it was a (happy) surprise, and it only happened when my body was healthy enough to carry the baby.

I also think it's very important for a couple to spend time together as a couple and really get to know each other before they have a baby, but I know plenty of couples who had a baby right away and were just fine. I'm glad I had 15 years of wonderful marriage with my husband before we're adding another person to the mix, but I know 15 is a bit excessive for most people!

Good luck with whatever you decide! My baby is due in a little over 2 weeks, so we'll see if I'm ready or not! It's true, though, like you say, that if people waited until they were absolutely sure they were ready, they would never do it. There's no way to be completely ready for such a big thing -- I guess you just have to trust your instincts at some point.

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. -- St. Francis of Assisi
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