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Old 06-22-2008, 11:58 AM   #184
onesullengurl
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Maine
Posts: 94

S/C/G: 150/Ticker/127

Height: 5'3"

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hey all, I am somewhat new here although I must say Im settling in

there is not much to my story ( I say that and then type a book ) ... I was always very thin all growing up I was "treated" for anorexia ( even though I wasn't it was my body not wanting to gain no matter what or how much I ate ) in 7th grade ... my 7th grade teacher passed me because of it despite me failing!.... I continued to be this way into high school in which time it started again with the anorexia harassment from everyone ..my bf's , my friends, my friends parents my teachers and guidance counselor .. I think the only one who knew and understood it was not soemthing I was doing was my mom ( because she fed me ! haha I ate like a horse and I LOVED mcdonalds as a teen ) what teen doesn't??? I met my husband at 16 turning 17 at which time I was around 89-95lbs ... he hated it he complained I looked sick and bony.. we ate fast food almost everyday and still nothing lol! ( although he regretted it getting a pooch himself ) . FINALLY at 18 turning 19 I got pregnant with our first son and at the age of 19 I finally hit 100lbs it was horrible I was so used to being thin ALL my life I cryed allt hrough my pregnancy untilla bout 5 months in when I just gave up and accepted that I was pregnant and gonig to be fat ! then 105 came then 135 then 150 then 175 you get the idea the lbs just FLEW On my entire pregnancy all I did was eat and sleep ( or lay in bed reading a book or mag) the WHOLE 9 months by the time I was in my last month of pregnancy I was 190 lbs !!!! 2 of me!!! I could barley walk or move or roll in bed or anything ... some kind of nerve got pinched off which it made it extremely painful to move my leg at all ... I couldn't lift my leg to put pants on or anything I was basically bed ridden ... depsite being very pregnant and the large belly ( my son wanted elbow room ) and the doctors telling me the nerve was being pinched off by the babies head .. I knew a lot of my torture was due to the weight I had gained.... my OB started sending me to a nutritionist and giving me a meal plan ( they feared my risk for gestational diabetes ) I had to switch to skim or 2 % milk switch from butter to margarine etc etc... eventually my son was born .. and I sat at around 175-180lbs at 19 years old.. I felt miserable physically and mentally and self worth or confidence I had dropped to 0 ( I always pictured me and my baby like the pictures in the baby magazines .. I would be skinny and vibrant and my baby would be the cutest baby in the world ! yeah right!!!) and to make matters worse I suffered extreme PPD which didn't help and my "pregnancy appetite" was not subsiding .. I continued to eat and do whatever I pleased and not think about anything I told myself " I need to sleep when baby sleeps" ( which was ALL the time lmao ) I wanted to be thin again and lose weight but told my self it would be IMPOSSIBLE.... well it wasn't apparently because 4 years later I was that mom I wanted to be .. my son was 4 cute as can be and I was 94lbs again!! wearing my size 4 I was loving it .... I would go though all my clothes in different sizes and amaze myself at the transformation ... but the thing is I do not know whathappened between 180-94 lbs because I never did anything I never dieted I never tryed to lose weight ... I ate all the same stuff ( fast food and junk and frozen meals ) the only thing that changed really is we started eating dinner in our apt more .. I was a mom now and a wife so I started learning how to cook dinner ( we knew we couldn't be teens anymore eating fast food everynight bummer! ) and my appetite finally subsided .. I was eating less times a day and less amounts .. and that was about it.... well about 3 months into my excitement of being skinny again I find out I am pregnant with #2 I told myself " NO WAY am I letting the first time repeat itself" I was gonna stay healthy and thin " well I really good , my doctor always said "perfect !! not to much not to little".... (I was 5 months in and 120 lbs not to shabby! ) but it wasn't because I was doing anything right.... my husband and I seperated with intent of divorce in my 6 month I was so incredibly bed strucken depressed I could not eat anything I couldn't do anything physically my family took turns staying with me and helping care for my 4 yr old while I layed in bed crying feeling sorry for myself and not eating .... I knew it was bad and I had to suck it up so I did .. when he was born I was a healthy 140 lbs (my husband and I called off the divorce and got back together in my last month of pregnancy.... ) I do NOT know what happened but those 4 days I was in the hospital following his birth I gained 35lbs!!!!!!!! and I don't know how because my husband I were extremely sick vomiting and such the entire 4 days I didn't keep any food down .... you figure water weight? I know some of it was my foot swelled like a ballon a few days after returning home but the rest of it stuck with me all this time minus about 15lbs of it ...
So I went into the hospital weighing 140 lbs and came out weighing 175 ..went in a size 10 came out 4 days later a size 18 ( not kidding I couldnt put my pants back on lol ) I got down to 160 eventually .. then we moved out of our apartment into our awesome house a year later and I got down to 150 .... I was 150 untill about 6 days ago ( for a year ) when I decided to FINALLY do soemthing about it for the 3rd time since he was born now I'm down to 143!! someday I hope to be 105 but even if I got back to 120 I would be very greatful! and that is my super long life story

Last edited by onesullengurl; 06-22-2008 at 12:05 PM.
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